to cancel DD birthday sleepover?

[LurpakIsTheOnlyButter]

DD 12 has been stealing treats from the cupboard. I caught her red handed a while back and she lied to my face and we had a big talk about being deceitful and stealing (she also took her sisters Christmas chocs).

At the time I removed her phone as punishment and explained that I don't allow my children to eat treats all day long because they are unhealthy, there is always fruit available if snacks are needed after school etc. The DCs are allowed treats, just not 2 chocolate biscuits right before tea,
and certainly not every day.

I moved all the treats to a high cupboard to make them less accessible and DD spent her own money to buy a gift to replace sisters stolen sweets. I thought that was the end of it.

Last night I caught her doing the same again. Then immediately after removing her phone I caught her with an iPad which she is not allowed mid week and tried to hide. Again she lied when caught red handed.

This morning I am fairly sure she has been in the cupboard again and I told her yesterday one more strike this week and I would cancel her birthday sleepover this weekend.

This feels very mean to me but I think I need to follow through, nothing else seems to get through to her that this is unacceptable. So AIBU? WWYD?

I totally agree Petite In fact a relaxed approach to rules makes one MORE employable, sociable and pleasant to live and work with than a neurotic, uptight type of worrier scared to break rules. Who has been sadly bullied by their parents.

You sound like a lunatic. Why not go the full ‘Titus Andronicus’ and cut off her hands and cut out her tongue? ‘Lying and stealing’? She’s appropriated a couple of biscuits and fibbed when discovered by the warden of Cell Block H. I loathe this idea of food in the house being something capable of being ‘stolen’. It’s great the other kids abide by the regime, btw - I bet she loves hearing how much ‘better’ they are. Have a stark word with yourself.

I'm glad you have realises you were being way OTT OP.

The thing I would say to you is really consider the punishment fitting the crime erg Going forward if you continue to remove her phone for such minor incidents what are you going to need to do when she inevitably does worse? For instance staying out later than curfew & not checking in when she is older, possibly skipping lessons/school etc

Biscuits really are nothing in the grand scheme of things!

@LurpakIsTheOnlyButter
How's it working out? My 12 year old is doing this at the moment - eating all the sweets crisps chocolates and leaving none for anyone else. I've told her to stop but she has no will power any suggestions? How did the sleepover go? Thanks x