Should adult children pay ‘rent’ if living with parents?

[Twist89]

When I got a full time job and was living at home I was expected to give my parents money towards bills. Not a huge amount, and way less than I now spend in private renting.

But I’ve come across people who say their parents never made them do that, and others who say they don’t make their 20+ year old children pay anything. Some of these have kids living with them earning around £25k and they still pay nothing.

I find this quite shocking - AIBU?

My 30 something daughter pays me a nominal rent, buys her own food, does all her own laundry and shopping. She thinks it's fair as she remains living in London near her work and still manages to save some money even while only earning the average wage.

When I can I keep the money aside in a savings account for her but otherwise it is used for other expenses of owning a home.

I offered to pay a contribution to the family pot when I got a full-time job. It was about ££100 of a £650 wage IIRC.

I'm amazed others don't offer and it's down to the parent to ask.

@Iamgreyhoundhearmeroar* you lose child benefit and child tax credits when your child leaves full time education.

My parents just would not accept money from me. My husband and I moved in for just over a year as we were between houses. We ended up taking over a utility bill and buying the expensive things in our shop such as dishwasher tabs, washing powder etc. I would also cook meals and my husband helped out with gardening.

My parents did, I think just to help me get used to managing money. And not get complacent living at home with no bills..😆 They saved it and gave me some back when I moved out - came in really handy! Never knew they were saving it though and never minded paying it...

He's only on about £18,500 and 22

DH is considerably older and doesn't earn much more than this - that's full time with NHS.

Of course even if its a small amount like £100 per month. Its teaching budgeting so a vvv important lesson. If you can afford to and dont want to keep the money out the money charged in rent aside and return as a deposit when adult child leaves. Thats what my parents did. I didnt know that when i paid the rent. I considered it a life lesson so vvvvv glad my parents charged rent as ive seen friends struggle who werent charged rent later. Any adult child living at home and working but not studing should pay something towards the household.

I didn't think I would, we don't need the money and thought we'd give them an easy start but now I have older teenagers I've realised that giving them financial responsibilities in numerous form (they have an allowance but from than need to pay petrol, Uni rent, food, travel etc) I've realised that the lesson in budgeting is absolutely invaluable. So when the time comes yes, I definitely will and will probably bank most of it for their first home deposit.

That should say ctc if you have them. Not everyone does because it's income dependant.

Ah right, Slutty

My son who only worked ad
hoc didn't pay rent. He has a full time job now and lives away and his rent is paid out of his pay as he is in the RAF.

If mine are at home when working I will charge them 'rent'. I'm not raising a bunch of freeloaders. I think I'd be doing an injustice to them if I didn't help teach them life skills such as supporting yourself!

I also had a year out after uni & offered my parents rent money. Reasonably of them because I was saving for a masters and future rent in one of the most expensive cities in the country, they refused.

If I’d gone back to living with them after, they prob would have charged me something - £100 a month or something, and I would have expected it. I would always have been aiming to move out and living with my parents post uni would have been a stop-gap rather than permanent.

Only on £18,500 and 22. Thats a huge salary. Thats alot more than i earnt last year and i work nhs. I pay for food, bills etc out of my salary. Only!

I never paid rent, and I lived at home until I was 25.

The reason was that my mum was well aware that the housing market where we lived (Sydney) was one of the most expensive in the world, and that it was going to be an immense struggle to get on the housing ladder within 1.5 hours of the CBD. She preferred that I save money, not give it to her when I was costing her no more than I had for the last 7 years (I had been paying my own way for everything - just not rent - since 18).

I don't know anyone whose parents made them pay rent/board. Not all of those parents were wealthy, either.

Iamagreyhound, for us it wouldn't cost any more to have them here but we pay all their costs now.

It's likely those that say they need an income were reliant on the state providing for their children so couldn't afford them as children never mind as adults.

I don't think taking rent teaches budgetting, it's perfectly possible to learn that without paying board.

Listened to an Asian woman giving her reasons why her family do not expect her to pay rent.
Their shared sense of family, she supports and contributes in other ways, cleaning, preparing meals, childcare and that the more she can save, the sooner she ll be leaving!

It made me think because until hearing this i had fully intended to charge my daughter rent.

If you are struggling financially, than of course, all family members need to chip in.

We don’t plan on charging ours to live at home.

They’re all students currently so definitely not asking anything right now.

Once they'd graduated and were earning, mine paid about half of what they'd have had to pay in a flatshare.
I don't think it does them any favours to let them pay nothing. It just comes as that much more of a shock when they eventually move out, and realise how much a roof over your head, a warm bed, endless hot water and food actually cost.

If parents don't need the money they can always save it for them.

When I had my very first holiday job, in between school and uni, I earned about £8.50 a week on a supermarket checkout, and had to give my mother £3 of that. At the same time Dh in his holiday jobs was earning over £20 on building sites and gave his folks nothing, and his were considerably more hard up than mine. I still don't understand why they didn't make him give them a few £. They could certainly have done with it.

When they lived at home, my working adult DC were expected to pay a contribution towards food & bills, plus do their share of household chores. I didn't have the slightest amount of guilt asking them for it either.

Isnt charging rent and ‘saving it for them’ a bit patronising and baby-ing. Surely by 18 they have clocked that property is expensive (in a way no other generation has had too) and that they need to get saving. By charging the rent you are robbing them of the opportunity to do the mature thing for themselves.

Maybe that’s just me

Only on £18,500 and 22. Thats a huge salary. Thats alot more than i earnt last year and i work nhs. I pay for food, bills etc out of my salary Only
Indeed it is and i didn't mean to sound flippant. It was in context to the Op mentioning about some young people earning 25k.

My dc have to pay as soon as they are working, even at 18 I took a small amount as both earned full time wages.
Our rule is when they want to live a better lifestyle than me and dh, it's time to for them to go.
If they want to live with us as adults then they do so as long as they save everything they possibly can.

My parents charged all of us a small amount of rent every month while we lived with them. They put it all into high interest savings account and gave it to us as a lump sum. I got mine when I was buying my first house, my sister got hers to help with her wedding and brother is also getting his when he buys his first house. I’ll be doing the same for my kids.

Mine are both still at home, pay a low % of their wages. It goes towards the extra gas, electricity, water and the basic household goods. They manage their own food, phones, transport etc.
Why would I not expect adults sharing my house to contribute? They do their share of chores as well. House share.