"Drinks rule" is silly or am I being sensitive?

[KungFuPandaWorks]

Hi!
Lost my login to my old account but made a very similar name for this account, So hopefully a few will recognise me.

(Quick run down. Sister kicked niece out over sister's new boyfriend is the crux of it)

In the last 6 weeks, my sister has suddenly wanted a relationship with niece. ( coincidental the reconciliation happened around the birth of baby number 7)
Last night niece went and stayed for the first time since her mum kicking her out, obviously I was wary because my sister is still with her partner who is a dick.

Niece has not long been back, hasn't slept all night because she was helping with the baby (which she says she didnt mind) But a few things stuck out too me, maybe I'm being over sensitive because of the previous situation but I would like opinions.

• a 3 drink rule was put in place. She was only allowed 3 drinks when there (water was included in this) because she can't be drinking all the people's drinks who lives there

• everytime she mentioned me, my child or pregnancy it was made clear by the boyfriend he doesn't want me being mentioned.

• she wasn't allowed a shower or bath because she doesn't live there anymore

• when she was playing with the younger siblings he told her too stop it and go and look after the new baby because that's why she is there.

• Made it obvious he didnt want her there.

• (not really on the best grounds with my sister but it's improved) I got a text about 40 minutes after niece came home, apparently from sister. Asking if neice is planning on making staying over a regular thing, could I start contributing something for when she stays and explain that she must listen,follow and respect what (boyfriends name) says.

She is so excited that her mum is allowing her back around the house and near her siblings, but Im just worried the boyfriend is setting her up to fail. Are the above "rules" Ok? Or am I just being a bitch and not giving him the benefit of the doubt because of last time.

I'm not sure if this was mentioned, but by "babysitting", does that mean they're leaving an 11-y.o. alone in charge of several younger siblings, including a baby? If so, what are your sister and cockwomble doing on these evenings? And how late?

Just give her funner things to do; while you come up with the right things to say.

God what a horrible situation!! although i'm sure nobody would want to put her back in that situation (clearly yourself included) its not that clear cut is it!!!! I just wanted to say she is lucky to have you ( she might not appreciate that fully until she is older!) and I really hope it all works out for the best in the end. I truly hope she is able to stay with you where she is clearly in a loving safe home and still be able to maintain some kind of a relationship away from this man (ideal world of course where it is all easy decisions and roses!). I hope you get all the support you need and deserve!!! x

So glad you have school backing and you have got SS involved.

Can you plan a surprise and fun weekend activities? So say sorry sis we have plans.
Or do meet on neutral grounds like a farm etc?

Well done with getting the ball rolling with SS. I would advise that you don’t mention anything about DN’s child benefits or maintenance until you have a residency order. Better to put a spin on that you need things legally formalised for GP, school & SS. If the boyfriend gets wind that he’ll be losing money, I bet he would order DN straight back home & make her life hell. Once the residency order is in place there’s nothing they can do to stop you claiming the child benefit & maintenance from both parents.

Good luck!

I really hope you get this sorted op.
I'm sorry but your sister is an absolute selfish twat and I hope ss find a better home for her poor children. Who choses a man over their children 😓

Can I ask any mum's had any experience in partner having bad criminal records none which againezt a child may I add but then social services want to do a assessment one of charges may I add is affray can they stop him seeing his children when they were not there and witnessed non of this and it's not his normal behaviour at all not been in trouble for years

Hi, I need some advice. Just before Christmas my dad who lives in a different county tired to commit suicide. It completely broke me and I decided to have some of my partners whiskey and ended up falling down the stairs with my 6 month old baby being present in the house. My in-laws who has present had to an ambulance and the ambulance staff notified social services. I never really drink and can’t believe I now have social services involved. The social worker has been to the house several times as has a midwife and they are happy with everything, he now called asking if he can pop by tomorrow as it’s been 3 weeks since last time. I said yes but I really don’t want their involvement anymore. After tomorrow, do I have a right to say that I expect you to close the case now? I basically had some bad news, tried to drown my sorrows with some booze and had I not fallen down the stairs they wouldn’t be involved.

Thanks so much for any advice

Hi love, you might want to start your own thread as this is a zombie thread so you probably won’t get any help here xx

I’d consider those rules abusive/neglectful and step in to stop your niece being taken advantage of.