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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

SIL wants her baby to 'catch a tan'

378 replies

LocksHear · 21/04/2018 17:08

AIBU to be fuming?!

She refuses to cover him up and isn't applying any sun lotion. Baby is 10 months.

Apparently no one puts sun lotion on their kid's in her country, and they're just kept out of the sun when it's at its strongest (between 1.30/3) Confused

She's adamant he doesn't burn, and she doesn't. Which is true. But burning isn't the only sign of skin damage by the sun. So is a sun tan. Any change to pigmentation is, isn't it?

I was at the park with her and all the kids yesterday, I made a point of putting sun lotion on all of mine, and made sure I had loads in my hands when I said "Oh I've loads left. Let me do yours. Might as well, loads left Smile"

She was very Hmm and said I'd rather you didn't. I didn't know what to say to that. 5 minutes later she claimed to have a migraine coming on and left.

I've been advised to report her to her health visitor but I know she doesn't have one.

OP posts:
Deshasafraisy · 21/04/2018 17:10

I’d rather my child got a bit of sun than douse them in chemicals.
You have no right to interfere with her parenting.

Fruitcorner123 · 21/04/2018 17:11

Why doesnt she have a health visitor? I have no idea what you can do really. Is she your brothers wife? If yrs speak to him. To be honest whoever her partner is I would be speaking to them. The only other thing you can do is get hold of some online information and email it to her or print it off for her and ask her to look at it.

Original poster
LocksHear · 21/04/2018 17:11

Desh Not using sun lotion is absolutely fine, providing you don't let the child in the sun (direct exposure).

OP posts:
Fruitcorner123 · 21/04/2018 17:11

Deshasafraisy

Do you know about skin cancer?

Lacucuracha · 21/04/2018 17:12

You can't reason with stupid.

Is she dark skinned? Skin damage from UV rays can happen to dark skin as well.

kaytee87 · 21/04/2018 17:12

Who has advised you to report her to her HV?
On one hand I agree with you and always put lotion on my ds if it's very sunny but on the other hand you have no right to try and rub cream on someone else's baby.
Have her children ever burned?

NewYearNewMe18 · 21/04/2018 17:12

Apparently no one puts sun lotion on their kid's in her country

Gwan gwan gwan tell us what third world back water she's from, you know you want to.

As far as I'm aware sun lotion isn't a legal obligation, and sensible parents keep children out of the heat of the day. And nicely, I wouldn't want you smearing my child with cream either. It's her choice.

Picklepickle123 · 21/04/2018 17:13

Hmmm...what country is she from? My parents (from India) never put sunblock on me as a child, because they would have had the same thought process. I do however put sunblock on my own 10 month old son. Is your niece/nephew dark skinned? He will have naturally occuring melanin that will prevent his skin from burning but there are other benefits of sunblock that perhaps need to be explained to your SIL. I don't know whether a HV would really intervene in this kinda scenario.

Original poster
LocksHear · 21/04/2018 17:14

I can't believe people think it's okay to let children 'tan' in the sun...

She's from Gibraltar. Olive skin.

No, her baby isn't burnt but again, 100% not the only sign/inclination skin has been impacted negatively Sad

OP posts:
Mightymucks · 21/04/2018 17:14

There is a school of thinking that she is right and a lack of vitamin D from all the covering up and sun lotion is going to cause children more damage than the sun. It’s implicated in a lot of diseases like MS.

I prefer to let my children out at times when the sun is less dangerous without cream for vitamin D benefits.

Fruitcorner123 · 21/04/2018 17:14

To be fair the OP offered she didn't try and run it in without the parents' permission.

DairyisClosed · 21/04/2018 17:15

I come from Australia. If you aren't out in the sun between 1 and 3 (which you really shouldn't be on hot days anyway) then suncream isn't necessary so long as you aren't in direct sunlight for longer than 20 minutes. You are overreacting.

Original poster
LocksHear · 21/04/2018 17:16

Dairy I'm not overreacting. She is leaving him out well over 20 minutes at a time, in direct sunlight

OP posts:
Babdoc · 21/04/2018 17:16

I hope you allow your kids at least 15 mins of unprotected sun a day to let them get their vitamin D requirement.
There is a theory that the reason multiple sclerosis is more common in northern latitudes is the lack of sun (and therefore vit D) in the winter months.
I worry there may be an increase in cases when the present generation of kids, slathered in sunscreen or staying indoors playing computer games, reach adulthood.

Original poster
LocksHear · 21/04/2018 17:17

Bab of course but they aren't in direct sunlight playing with no protection etc, it's dangerous

OP posts:
AssassinatedBeauty · 21/04/2018 17:18

They were in the park, so presumably planning on being there for longer than 20 minutes.

It's absolutely parental choice, and letting children get some sun before applying suntan lotion or staying in the shade is clearly a reasonable choice. Just letting your 10 month old "tan" is something else.

Original poster
LocksHear · 21/04/2018 17:19

It's absolutely parental choice, and letting children get some sun before applying suntan lotion or staying in the shade is clearly a reasonable choice. Just letting your 10 month old "tan" is something else

Exactly this. She isn't shading him or protecting him with creams. She's just letting him get direct sun light for as long as he's out

I feel uncomfortable going out with her and I'm often thinking how long the poor baby is in the sun

OP posts:
Tartanscarf · 21/04/2018 17:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pinkkahori · 21/04/2018 17:22

What temperature is it?

BubblesAndSquarks · 21/04/2018 17:22

You said shes from a different country, she may have grown up with it as the norm or not think the amount of sun that we have is enough to warrant needing it.

I know a mum who is Spanish and she never uses sun cream on her DC, who are both naturally not very pale, she said they don't burn and that she thinks its worse for them being covered in sun cream than being in the sun especially as there's so little of it in the UK.

PercyPigAddict · 21/04/2018 17:23

I feel like I've slipped into the twilight zone reading this thread. Do lots of people genuinely believe it's perfectly fine for a parent to let her 10-month-old "tan" or are you just being contrary for the sake of it?

You're right OP, like it or not a tan is a sign of skin damage. Sad

Original poster
LocksHear · 21/04/2018 17:23

Tart We were out in the park from 11ish to 1.30

Baby wasn't covered or creamed the whole time and said she thinks "he will be a lovely colour by next week"

OP posts:
PercyPigAddict · 21/04/2018 17:23

Thank fuck for "chemicals" in sun creams is all I can say Hmm

Tartanscarf · 21/04/2018 17:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
LocksHear · 21/04/2018 17:25

Bubbles She was born here so she isn't new to British Summer.

Your friend is incorrect. It isn't worse for them to have a bit of sun lotion on, than to just apply none at all, ever, even in the British Sun which sometimes reaches hotter than Spain

OP posts:
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