SIL wants her baby to 'catch a tan'

[LocksHear]

AIBU to be fuming?!

She refuses to cover him up and isn't applying any sun lotion. Baby is 10 months.

Apparently no one puts sun lotion on their kid's in her country, and they're just kept out of the sun when it's at its strongest (between 1.30/3)

She's adamant he doesn't burn, and she doesn't. Which is true. But burning isn't the only sign of skin damage by the sun. So is a sun tan. Any change to pigmentation is, isn't it?

I was at the park with her and all the kids yesterday, I made a point of putting sun lotion on all of mine, and made sure I had loads in my hands when I said "Oh I've loads left. Let me do yours. Might as well, loads left "

She was very and said I'd rather you didn't. I didn't know what to say to that. 5 minutes later she claimed to have a migraine coming on and left.

I've been advised to report her to her health visitor but I know she doesn't have one.

still maybe she can have your baby while you are in hospital - so try not to piss her off too much

that long without sunblock is a little crazy. What’s the temp like? I’m from Asia where it’s 34deg daily, when my children are out they have spf50 on.

People know everything’s chemicals though don’t they? Even those tinfoil hats their wearing are chemicals.

Well probably nobody does use it in Gibraltar. DH and I were transfixed by a pharmacy window in Italy full of sun cream in a beach resort - highest factor was 15 and some of it was 2. Advertising was all aimed at you getting a beautiful tan. We hadn't seen anything like it since we were kids in the UK.

It's a big cultural difference and in a population whose skin tans and never burns, the message about skin damage is likely a hard sell.

Shes born here or Gibraltan?

A very marked difference between tanning and burning.

FB would go into melt down if everyone reported all the sub 18's with a tan when school returns in September.

All this reporting. What a nanny state. Who was it yesterday that said this country gets more like the old Soviet Union with neighbours and family perpetually spying.

What do you want to happen with this reporting an appointed SW to doggedly apply sunscreen?

I used to leave my babies sleeping uncovered (but dressed) outside, albeit in the shade. They played in the sun without suncream. I only used suncream when on holiday or days out. and they never burned. They did tan over the summer and still do. My friend's children just stood by a window and started to go pink. It wasn't that I exposed them to the sun to get a tan, but if we were out or they were playing in the garden, I didn't slather them in cream.

It's about being sensible. If you think there's a chance of burning, cover them up or take them in. Build up exposure. Keep them in between 12-3 or thereabouts.

You’ve told her your thoughts and now you need to let it go. Reporting her is an extreme reaction.

It’s ignorance of the potential long term damage (remember though, it’s only a risk, not a certainty) but it’s not abuse. If she were knowingly allowing him to burn, that would be abuse.

Her baby is happy and healthy I presume, so you need to butt out.

I'm paler than pale and only have to look at the sun to burn to a crisp. DD somehow is not, even with regularly applied cream she turns a bronze colour within a day of sunshine. She isn't out in the hottest hours of the day either. She's 3 now and has been like this since a baby. She was in the sun on Wednesday, by Thursday she looks browner than I would after a week in Spain. And it's definitely a tan as she develops t-shirt lines.

Some kids just tan, even when protected.

But, if out in direct sunlight for any significant period of time, cream should be applied. YANBU however it's not your kid to parent.

Well I'm with you OP, and am rather surprised at the number of posters supporting her.

The ides of a baby with a tan horrifies me.

I was shocked on holiday in Croatia last year as all the Italian kids had full on tans and tiny swimwear. You could definitely tell the UK kids in surf suits and covered up. I chuckled in Vietnam this Easter as the Korean parents took it to whole new levels of cover. My point is a lot of it is cultural, what’s norm in one country isn’t in another

This sickens me!
That baby has no choice in this as he or she is too young to ask for the cream or understand what it is for, she has a responsibility to protect her child!
You're supposed to apply the cream 30 minutes before exposure as it isn't instant, the child will get plenty for vitamin D in the time it took for the cream to absorb and start protecting the skin. There's no reason to not use it.
Best case scenario the child never gets skin cancer but will suffer from premature wrinkles, age spots etc. Worst case doesn't bear thinking about.

Burning means damage to the skin that is visible. Tanning means damage is not obvious.

No one is talking about school aged children. The child in question is 10 months old.

And no one on the thread has suggested reporting her to anyone. Unless the child was actually getting burns, like the case a while back with a baby on Brighton beach who had 40% burns, then sub-par parenting choices aren't something that social services would be interested in.

All you can do, @LocksHear, is mention the risks if you feel she might listen to you. Or pass information on to her partner if they would be more receptive.

Tartanscarf- the OP is talking about yesterday. I don’t know where she is but, here in the midlands, it was 28 degrees and sunny yesterday afternoon.

And no one on the thread has suggested reporting her to anyone.

From the OP :

I've been advised to report her to her health visitor but I know she doesn't have one

Ridiculous

AssassinatedBeauty: the OP said she was advised to report her but they don’t have a HV. She didn’t say she wouldn’t report her, she said she can’t because there is no HV. Clearly reporting her is not something the OP objects to.

I burn easily and have badly sun damaged skin so now even use SPF factor 30 on my daily moisturiser in the winter.
Now I have severe Vitamin D deficiency

She's just an idiot that's all - ignorant and stupid - shit combination

I am the palest of the pale. I burn through windows if I'm indoors and the sun's particularly bright through them. I tend to carry factor 50 around with me from April to October because I have been known to burn even outside of those times in the UK.

I managed to go a bit pink in the few minutes I walked outside to see my OH for five mins and back in again on Thursday

I take vit D supplements as I'm very very deficient (probably to do with other things and not sun cream) and I also try and get some sun without suncream on. But I have to try so hard not to burn.

If I had a baby I would assume it needed the sort of protection I need because I'll be fine one minute and bright pink the next. I remember being sunburned as a child and my mum was pretty on it with the cream so it's easy to miss/not do it enough.

Are you going to stand outside supermarkets and report any families with a trolley of junk food OP?

Yes. Only the OP mentioned that someone else suggested reporting to a HV. No one on the thread has agreed with that!

Desh. Are you ops sister. I hope so. Don't tell me there are 2 idiots who think it's okay for a baby to get sun burnt.
I've never heard a more stupid remark and I've not lead a sheltered life.

I hate all that "mind your own business attitude. The safety,health and wellbeing of
Is everyone's business.

Obviously I don't really want to report her, but it seems she's so oblivious to the damage excessive sun exposure can do... Most of the damage is done when you're young, apparently.

Yes a cultural difference may be at okay here but that doesn't make it acceptable.

Someone else advised Heath Visitor because one would be able to have a chat about sun safety, with facts to hand, etc. And of course a professional, where I am not

Vitamin D deficiency is a terrible thing in children, it causes rickets. The most common cause of rickets is a lack of vitamin D or calcium in a child's diet. Both are essential for children to develop strong and healthy bones. Sources of vitamin D are: sunlight – your skin produces vitamin D when it's exposed to the sun, and we get most of our vitamin D this way.