SIL wants her baby to 'catch a tan'

[LocksHear]

AIBU to be fuming?!

She refuses to cover him up and isn't applying any sun lotion. Baby is 10 months.

Apparently no one puts sun lotion on their kid's in her country, and they're just kept out of the sun when it's at its strongest (between 1.30/3)

She's adamant he doesn't burn, and she doesn't. Which is true. But burning isn't the only sign of skin damage by the sun. So is a sun tan. Any change to pigmentation is, isn't it?

I was at the park with her and all the kids yesterday, I made a point of putting sun lotion on all of mine, and made sure I had loads in my hands when I said "Oh I've loads left. Let me do yours. Might as well, loads left "

She was very and said I'd rather you didn't. I didn't know what to say to that. 5 minutes later she claimed to have a migraine coming on and left.

I've been advised to report her to her health visitor but I know she doesn't have one.

I have had vitamin d deficiency in the past and my gp recommended to spend some time outdoors without sunscreen. My DC have a darker skin tone than mine, I use spf on them only when they are out all day in very hot sun, otherwise if it’s 20 mins or so I wouldn’t bother as they need some vitamin d!

am i reading right its not hot enough?

i went to brighton on sat and my hands have got red where i didnt put cream on them-in 21 degrees

it doesnt have to be baking hot its about uv a

and also saying your dc doesnt burn so its ok -no its not any tan is damaging the skin so go ahead give them cancer-as long as theyre brown eh

Well, personally I agree that babies should be ‘getting a lovely colour’ although I don’t slather in cream till we’ve been in the sun for about 20 minutes. I like a bit of vitamin D but I also want to protect my fair skinned freckled sons as much as my olive skinned son from the sun.

Also as previous posters have pointed out it’s not heat that causes sunburn.

I thought the usual thing was to allow some of time of sun exposure... But at reasonable time ie not scorching day, and at peak time..

But usually allow half hour of exposure then put cream on?

This thread has reminded me of the saying 'Mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun.' When I was in Africa, I found that Africans just thought white people were crazy to want to be outside in the sunshine in the middle of the day. They didn't at all. And obviously in Southern Europe, that's why they have siestas.

So yes, PPs on here are right who are saying that it's more damaging to children to develop vitamin D deficiency from lack of sunlight.

On the other hand, though, the comment about allowing her baby to tan does make the SIL sound ignorant and I understand why the OP reacted to it. But it's such an overreaction to talk about reporting her.

For people who feel so strongly about the risks of vitamin D deficiency that they are willing to risk their children getting skin cancer:

You can get free vitamin D drops until age 4
love.lambeth.gov.uk/free-vitamin-d-for-healthy-teeth-and-bones/

No need to make your child suffer with sunburn at all.

Wow. The level of ignorance displayed in this thread is astonishing. As PPs have tried to hammer home, EVERYTHING IS CHEMICALS. Have you heard that hydrogen dioxide is being given to children in schools? Or that some people are recommending alkylaminobutyric acid to be put on kids' skin??

Also, yes, sunscreen use is increasing as is the rate of skin cancers. This is because the damage was done years if not decades ago when it looked like a light tan but was in fact the start of the cellular changes that can lead to skin cancer.

FFS, I can't believe we're still talking about this as if it was controversial in some way to protect your children.

People are conflating sunburn and sun tan I. Their arguments .
There’s been a lot of people saying it’s good for kids to get some sun, and a sun tan is the body’s natural reaction to getting some sun so I can’t get worked up about it. ‘Any sun tan is skin damage’. It’s what the body was designed to do, humans are not supposed to avoid the sun touching our skins at all costs, otherwise we’d be nocturnal 🙄
The only way to avoid my DC getting a tan would be for them to avoid to sun full stop. And that’s clearly ridiculous.
I’ve not seen a single person saying a sunburn is fine. So all the ‘one instance of a sun burn can cause cancer’ argument doesn’t make sense when people are talking about tans.
(For what it’s worth I do agree that a lot of people do let their kids burn, particularly on holiday etc, and I think that’s wrong).

I agree, nobody has said 'woo hoo let's all
sit out in the midday sun and burn to a crisp.'

We weren't designed to be indoors in artificial light the whole time, avoiding the sun completely. That alone will have far worse effects than a bit of sensible sun exposure. Without burning obviously.

Sashkin and you can buy a years supply for a tenner.

Agree scampimom, I can't believe people are so willing to risk cancer, and citing vitamin D as an excuse, when they most likely wouldn't get enough from the sun anyway and could just supplement to make sure they are getting enough. People are really fucking stupid. The ozone layer is different and the world is hotter now, but lets not facts get in the way

You don't have to avoid daylight. Just sit in the shade.

You can still catch in tan in the shade, which is sun damage.
Any tan is sun damage, the shade will not protect you from all those UV rays bouncing about.

Just saying

I wear suncream all year round, don't look at me!

ah, the screams for absolutes. universal free education is clearly wasted on many.

I stupidly let DD do my suncream on saturday and have a nice red patch where she missed. I was out in direct sunlight for around 25 mins while walking back from a restaurant.

My Mother died from melanoma that was most likely caused by her parents deciding she needed more sun as a child. From the age she was old enough to buy her own she wore suncream...but it was too late for her.

It IS a balance for people with olive skin, they do need some sunlight to make vit D. on the other hand 2 hours of UV index 4-5 for a 10 month old is totally irresponsible.

You have made your point, but by her reaction on leaving due to a migraine may mean you have probably overdone it. I’m guessing from her perspective you have come across as interfering, overbearing and criticising her parenting skills. She probably feels it’s none of your business and you don’t know what you are talking about, especially as neither her nor the baby burn.

As you are genuinely concerned and it doesn’t sound like you will let this go, I suggest you speak to your brother about your concerns but do it without criticising his wife.

Reporting her is a step way too far and will ruin your future relationship with both her and your brother.

I think you should stop talking about your SIL behind her back to whoever mentioned the HV and voice your concerns to her. Be a grown up. Otherwise butt out.

Apologies if it's been asked previous,I skipped over some posts, but is that the first time you've mentioned about sunscreen to your SIL?

Nobody has said 'woo hoo let's all
sit out in the midday sun and burn to a crisp

Except the OP’s SIL, who is sitting her ten month old baby out to sunbathe for 2.5hrs in the full midday sun. If you or your olive-skinned teenager can sit out in the sun for hours and not burn, great. Most babies can’t, and sitting them out like that is irresponsible.

I had to do a double take on your threads OP. Wtf. She sounds incredible stupid! Poor baby. They’re so vulnerable and with parents like that who are suppose to protect them yet put them at risk...it’s very sad.

It’s common sense. Use baby suncream and replay regularly, protective sun hat, give extra drinks and take care to keep them cool which includes avoiding having them out on hottest part of the day and shaded when they are out if it’s a particularly hot day. I can’t belive somebody would stick their baby with delicate skin out on the hot sun and want them to get a tan (a tan in itself is sun damage)...it’s sickeningly.

reapply*

sickening*

Cant understand all the people saying not using suncream= burning . Sensible behaviour when sunny lets you take aome sun without burning.