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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this should be a police matter?

215 replies

movinonup · 19/04/2018 14:26

Have had many issues with my XH stepson (18) and his inappropriate behaviour towards my DC. (DS is 6, DD is 8)
Including letting them watch Krampus (15 cert movie in which a creature terrorises kids on Christmas Eve if they are on the naughty list) and then telling DS that he was on the naughty list.
Asking them if they like clowns, when they replied that they did he said 'You won't after this) then showed them the trailer for IT.

There have been other issues but these were the worst two.

My solicitor had addressed these issues in a letter and asked that the step-son was no longer left with the DC unsupervised.

My DC were left alone with both his step children (18 & 14) at the weekend and my 6 year old boy was chased, restrained and had duck tape put across his mouth and his arms taped together behind his back!

Social services have been informed and I have a meeting scheduled with my solicitor to discuss a court order to make sure my DC are never left alone with them again! Both my children say that they want to see their Dad but not the step-children.

So, That's the backstory. My question is should this actually be considered a police matter as the step-son is 18 and an adult? What would he be charged with if so?

OP posts:
Dobby1sAFreeElf · 25/04/2018 07:36

May be worth contacting your local MP. Sometimes the can put some pressure on which may help the police rethink.

Dobby1sAFreeElf · 25/04/2018 07:39

It may also be prudent to point out that given your ex has made a series of spurious fully investigated claims about the DC before, he's really not proven himself to be able to tell the truth about them. Maybe to your solicitor first though.

womanformallyknownaswoman · 25/04/2018 07:49

Unfortunately unless you have photographs and /or an independent witness the police won't take action ime.

There is little holding to account of abusive exes

Choose your battles comes to mind - with a hug - as battling their transgressions can be exhausting as you are finding - no one wants to take male violence and its enabling seriously, unless women can be punished.

Original poster
movinonup · 25/04/2018 08:18

What dickhead has told the police is a completely different story to what he's told HT! He really is an imbecile. (And there's every chance he's reading this thread himself) so I'll say it again IMBECILE!

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Original poster
movinonup · 25/04/2018 08:28

He's calling his own children liars to protect children that aren't his own! Ones who have hurt his child! Who fucking does that?

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Original poster
movinonup · 25/04/2018 08:30

Can you imagine if the roles were reversed here, that I'd moved in a person I had met online after 3 months and their children had done these things to my child?

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elisenbrunnen · 25/04/2018 09:48

He's not thinking of his children at all - he's making sure that the woman who is the 'spawn's mother is still 'available' to him. If he goes off on one with her children, she might well tell him to sling his hook! Can't jeopardise his sex life!

ChasedByBees · 25/04/2018 11:30

I wonder if you could raise this with the Independent Police Complaints Commision? You might need to raise a complaint with the police first, I’m not sure but I can’t see how this is a civil matter. Your MP might also be a good bet. Is contact court ordered?

Original poster
movinonup · 25/04/2018 11:32

Contact isn't court ordered!

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womanformallyknownaswoman · 25/04/2018 11:57

Playing favourites is one of the favourite weapons of abusers - doesn't matter if the children aren't theirs. It's the joy they get from causing distress to their ex that gets them off - many are sadists

Original poster
movinonup · 25/04/2018 17:24

Spoke to social services and they advise to proceed through the courts and that they/The head teacher will probably be asked for a report/recommendation by the sheriff.

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Weezol · 25/04/2018 22:42

So glad that this is progressing.

womanformallyknownaswoman · 26/04/2018 07:10

Good oh - some backup!! That's good news

AskBasil · 26/04/2018 10:31

Oh it's excellent that he told a different story to the HT and the police.

Speaks to his unreliability as a witness.

Contact isn't court ordered?

In that case, just don't send your kids to that place. Let him take you to court if he can be bothered.

Original poster
movinonup · 29/08/2018 20:19

I received a letter stating that XH is seeking legal aid so I guess he is taking me to court, Best of British to him!

Legal aid have asked me to contact them to say if there is any reason I believe the dickhead shouldn't be entitled to legal aid and for any reasons I believe the case has no legal merit....How weird is that??

Since mid April he has made 8 visitation requests in total , 5 of which I've been able to accommodate (he usually texts the night before wanting to come through the next day for a couple of hours)
So 12 hours of visitation in total since April, He also saw children twice when visiting their Nana!

Really covering himself in glory here isn't he?

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