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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think this should be a police matter?

215 replies

movinonup · 19/04/2018 14:26

Have had many issues with my XH stepson (18) and his inappropriate behaviour towards my DC. (DS is 6, DD is 8)
Including letting them watch Krampus (15 cert movie in which a creature terrorises kids on Christmas Eve if they are on the naughty list) and then telling DS that he was on the naughty list.
Asking them if they like clowns, when they replied that they did he said 'You won't after this) then showed them the trailer for IT.

There have been other issues but these were the worst two.

My solicitor had addressed these issues in a letter and asked that the step-son was no longer left with the DC unsupervised.

My DC were left alone with both his step children (18 & 14) at the weekend and my 6 year old boy was chased, restrained and had duck tape put across his mouth and his arms taped together behind his back!

Social services have been informed and I have a meeting scheduled with my solicitor to discuss a court order to make sure my DC are never left alone with them again! Both my children say that they want to see their Dad but not the step-children.

So, That's the backstory. My question is should this actually be considered a police matter as the step-son is 18 and an adult? What would he be charged with if so?

OP posts:
Original poster
movinonup · 20/04/2018 10:46

I'm on the call now, explained the situation and am on hold at the moment!

OP posts:
Original poster
movinonup · 20/04/2018 10:50

All done, I have an incident number and an officer will call me back.

OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 20/04/2018 10:52

Well done for doing that. I hope this incident is taken very seriously!

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 20/04/2018 10:54

Well done, this is awful. How is your 6-year old doing now?

Original poster
movinonup · 20/04/2018 11:07

@GreenFingers He was fine on Tuesday but Wednesday and Thursday his behaviour hasn't been great (and it's been consistently great for months) Up late saying he can't get to sleep :(

OP posts:
BettyBaggins · 20/04/2018 11:10

Poor little mite. Well done op.

Original poster
movinonup · 20/04/2018 11:13

Just had a call from the headmistress who social work had asked to speak with XH regarding the incident!

XH version of events are that the adults hadn't left the children alone and were in fact inside the house watching from the window! WHAT.THE.FUCK!!!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
movinonup · 20/04/2018 11:14

That's actually worse!!

OP posts:
AuntFidgetWonkhamStrongNajork · 20/04/2018 11:14

What a plank Shock Does he think that claiming he was watching makes it better ?

Juells · 20/04/2018 11:15

But isn't that even worse, that the adults watched that bullying taking place and allowed it to continue so long?

notapizzaeater · 20/04/2018 11:20

That's much worse if they didn't intervene. Have the HT spoken to your kids about it ?

Ivegotfamilyandidrinkcupsoftea · 20/04/2018 11:21

Jesus

This is awful

Well done for phoning the police

Original poster
movinonup · 20/04/2018 11:23

No HT hasn't spoken to the children at all, Which I find very odd that she seems happy to take XH word for what happened and basically warn him that it is unacceptable without actually having heard what the children have to say about it!

OP posts:
Daisymay2 · 20/04/2018 11:23

So would EH and his DP be regarding as enabling the behaviour? Not sure I would want to admit to that.
Agree, no more contact definately and let the police handle it.
Worrying that SW wanted head to contact EH- I would have thoughtthey might want a look at the 14 year old as he must be seriously muddled in his thinking. ( Muddled is not the right word I know...)

Juells · 20/04/2018 11:26

No HT hasn't spoken to the children at all, Which I find very odd that she seems happy to take XH word for what happened and basically warn him that it is unacceptable without actually having heard what the children have to say about it!

The only thing I can think is that, if she knows SS are involved she doesn't want to make the children repeat the story over and over, so it starts sounding rehearsed.

Andro · 20/04/2018 11:27

XH version of events are that the adults hadn't left the children alone and were in fact inside the house watching from the window! WHAT.THE.FUCK!!!!!

That's going to make him look good when the matter is investigated... not!

I suppose the one positive to be taken from this is that you xh has been stupid enough to admit to allowing (and watching) his child be assaulted - clear evidence of refusal to safeguard his son. Should the police decide the 18yo and/or the 14yo ought to face criminal charges, they may also have grounds to persue your ex for allowing it to happen.

TipTopTat · 20/04/2018 11:29

Would you want your kids to have contact with a parent who allows that to happen? I wouldn't.

londonmummy1966 · 20/04/2018 11:38

So sorry that you are all going through this - please do keep an eye on your son - perhaps have him co sleep with you for a bit to make sure he is OK at night?

I know that what XH said sounds grim but I had worried when reading the earlier posts that he might deny it all as your son's imagination so at least he has admitted the assault took place.

Original poster
movinonup · 20/04/2018 11:41

He's not seeing it as an assault at all the absolute prick!
Just kids up to high jinks seems to be his version of events!

OP posts:
Northernparent68 · 20/04/2018 11:42

The difficulty of involving the police is your son would have to be video interviewed about the incident.

Original poster
movinonup · 20/04/2018 11:44

Would it make any difference that I have recorded the children telling me about the incident?
Would he still have to be videoed do you think?

OP posts:
Dobby1sAFreeElf · 20/04/2018 11:51

I'm glad you've reported this to the police now.

But WTAF with social services and the headmistress. Wow.

leafblower · 20/04/2018 11:52

It may be difficult but he needs to know his Mum is taking enough action against this.

Thanks for you op.

AskBasil · 20/04/2018 11:55

Fuck yes, this is child abuse.
That stepson is extremely disturbed.

I hope the police take it seriously and it breaks up your ex's relationship so that your kids never see these lunatics again.

StellaHeyStella · 20/04/2018 11:55

Kids up to high jinks? My arse.

Your child has been assaulted and I here cheering you on op for your reaction. Too many child victims of all types of assault are not heard or taken seriously by their mother or father because that's the easier route.

The eldest stepson is an adult and I cannot fathom why anyone would refer to him as a child/kid and the 14year old is certainly criminally responsible in the eyes of the law.

I would hazard a guess that your recording would not stand up as actual evidence although I'm sure the police would be interested to see/hear it.