To be absolutely sick of being a mum

[Anonmcnon]

I’m sick of the defiance, the not doing things until the 20th request, the constant noise and bickering, the meltdowns over homework, the joyless drudgery of keeping the house tidy/clean only for it to be messed up almost immediately.

I’m sick of the pressures from school, the endless worry about kids not doing well enough, the guilt that i’m not doing enough work at home with them. The guilt that i’m doing too much with them and ruining their childhood.
The guilt that i’m too unmotivated to play with them, read to them etc.
The constant grinding guilt of failing them as all i do is shout and moan.

If i’d known it would be like this i would have known my limitations and stayed childless.
I’m tired of reading parenting books and not finding any solutions.
Can anyone relate to feeling like a completely useless parent?

Ha ha! I'm a single mum, so at least sorted on that front . In due course, I just need to organise a mass exodus of pets alongside the children ...
Actually, they can stay

The baby/toddler years are rough. Since my 2nd DC went to school things have improved a lot and the older they get the better it is. They fight and argue and all that, but now I get time to myself and that, on its own, makes life bearable. I haven't got someone constantly following me around, hanging off me, saying 'Mummy, mummy, mummy' all day long - that's what I found unbearable - and the utter tedium of the same questions over and over.

Don't worry everyone, one day they'll all be grown and left home. At last, you'll have some time and money for yourselves again. Bliss!! Unfortunately, just when you finally reach this point, grandchildren will come along and you will be asked to help with childcare and donations to housing, bills etc. If you don't provide this, you will then be discussed and blamed on MN! Sorry, but's that life, folks!

I agree with pp, that the teenage phase is so much better. Mine are 12 and 15. Very independent, very tidy (!), polite apart from occasional hormonal outbursts, and great to talk to and discuss things with.

leggere, I am most definitely NOT helping with grandchildren/childcare as DH and I plan to be sitting on the beach in Mexico drinking margaritas and eating chicken tinga tacos as soon as the DCs leave home!

Great plan dimsum123 But be prepared to be judged on MN and called names such as "smug retired"!

leggere, thanks for the warning! I will prepare myself for the MN flak!

Anyway it's a long way off and only a dream at the moment as the youngest is only just 12. It will be another 10 years at least until we hit the beach in Mexico and who knows what might happen in that time.

‘Don't worry everyone, one day they'll all be grown and left home.’

But by then I’ll be old...you can’t win

Yes PasstheStarmix the thought that when ds turns 18 I will be aged 59 fills me with dread lol the thought of being SO ANCIENT before I am a free agent again!! So five more years before I get my life back but really will I have any zing left in my being by then?!

By the time my DS4 is 18 I will be 62 - I've already told him he's not allowed a university education because I cannot hack it in my job for that much longer!

Haha I know it’s a rough deal isn’t it!?! On one hand I want the freedom and the other hand I don’t want to get older! Ds is only a toddler and we have plans for a second one so I certainly have a long slog in front of me! Maybe we’ll be glamorous grannies and look half our ages!

Children can assume a student loan we don't have to bear the burden of their further education debt. I won't be in a position to help either. I am definitely going to encourage ds to do a degree if that is what he wishes. Though at the age of 13 he isn't showing any huge interest in much of his studies, nor has he ever sadly.....