Dh ordering medication online

[meadowposy]

I've found out about it because he's doing it through my name.

I don't know what to think about it and I'm asking here... Are these sites always dodgy? I can't talk to him about it as he tells me to be quiet and I don't know what I am talking about.

Of course you're all at risk. You're living with someone who is permanently on opioids. You and your children are spending time driving round a load of pharmacies so that he can fuel his addiction.

If I taught one of your children and they mentioned it to me, I would report it as a safeguarding concern. You are all being made to be complicit.

How are you going to address the problem?

you need to contact the company and tell them someone is buying drugs in your name without your consent, tell them not to make anymore sales to your address.
Then I would call the police and report it. Do this when he is at work. Give yourself one hour to pack. Set a timer, get your documents (passport etc) marriage certificate, a few bank statements proving his income. Pack 4-5 outfits for each of you, but you don't need to pack more than that if you don't have time. Withdraw any money you have access to.
Get somewhere safe with your dc's. Be it a hotel or your mums house. Call women's aid and social services.
Call your bank and ask them to cancel your card and they will issue you a new one.

Please do this op. I've been where you are and you must leave. I know you're scared and you can't manage alone but I promise, you can.

OP - I am sure you will read some of these posts and think we are all over-reacting.

what do you think is going to have to happen before you take the advice being given?

Or will you just stop reading and posting on this thread now and wait until the next crisis?

I have lost count over the years on AIBU where someone comes on with an horrific life story like this, everyone gives them good supportive advice and all they then do is "yes, but...."

So I guess its just a matter now of you waiting to see what rock bottom looks like in your situation because until you hit it, I don't think you are listening.

perhaps the police arresting you for buying illegal drugs on the internet or SS taking the children into care might be it.

your "d"h doesn't give one shiny shit about you or the children. he is a drug addict. they care only about the drugs and what they need to do to get the next prescription. He will do and say whatever he needs to to get them. wake up, smell the coffee, move out.

Yes pregab is also used illegally around my parts too because it does make you high as a kite. I used to take it for my restless legs etc
Iv read this but i dont know anyone who ever felt high taking it.

He needs to stop ordering it in your name.
Does he have problems with pain?

Prescribed meds are for anxiety and also for a back issue which flares up sometimes. It does hurt him but he exaggerates. In the past he's made me say I've hurt myself to get Diazepam and say I've got insomnia to get something I can't remember the name of now.

Prescribed meds are for anxiety and also for a back issue which flares up sometimes. It does hurt him but he exaggerates. In the past he's made me say I've hurt myself to get Diazepam and say I've got insomnia to get something I can't remember the name of now.
If he has actually pain he needs to see the gp, instead of self medicating. I know what its like, but this wont help.
Pregablin needs to be taken under supervsion.
If he suddenly cant get hold of it, going cold turkey will not be a pleasant experience.

OP you strike me as being as much in denial about this as he probably it.

He sounds like he is is addicted and involved in a public facing job: he will end up in prison or rehab at some point (even Dr House did)

He would not let me have a minutes peace. He would be on and on and on. I would not be able to sleep or anything. I know everyone will think I am very weak but he just grinds people down.

The only person at risk is dh.

Except he drives a car when he’s high, so that’s not true. And your holidays are dominated by looking for pharmacies.

He's made you lie to buy him Valium?

You need to take a step back from him op.

Only he can help himself when he wants to.

This isn't a one time addiction due to a specific pain issue. It's an ongoing addictive personality.

So he's also forced you to lie to your own doctor to get prescribed medication that you've handed straight over to him for him to take?

What would have happened, realistically, what did you honestly believe he would do, if you had said no, and refused to make an appointment, and lie to your GP to get medication?

My GP refuses to prescribe me diazepam because she believes i may develop an addiction to it, because i have an anxiety disorder. Maybe they wont prescribe to your husband for the same reason. She did prescribe me codeine after a bad car crash just coming up on a year ago, but in the end i was so scared of becoming addicted myself i just didn't take them.

OP, your DH is committing some quite serious criminal offences potentially, on top of everything else. You are complicit in this. Believe me, if something happens to the children or his patients it will weigh heavily on your conscience. You can’t fix his addiction, but much of what’s going on is within your power to tackle.

I probably am quartz which is why I'm trying to be honest here but he keeps telling me it's fine and he's trying to quit codeine and if I did any of the suggestions re pregabin he would say no wonder he's on codeine as I couldn't support him. He also says he's been stressed and blames me for that and then other times he cries and says he's sorry and doesn't mean that. He's a mess and a wreck. I know that. What I don't know is what to do about it.

*meadowposy "They don't because we aren't stupid and neither are the kids...."

"The only person at risk is dh. Its stupid running round like henny penny saying the sky is falling down."*

Nope. I'm not fooled by this response OP. He isn't the only person at risk otherwise why wouldn't you seek help from a GP?

You are stupid if you think that children living with a drug addict don't suffer. because they do.

You are also stupid if you don't think at some point this is all going to come crashing down around your ears. Ditto for lending someone your card to buy meds on the internet in such big quantities.

I cant argue with stupid. so I am not going to even try.

I just hope and pray that no one else gets dragged into this mess.

How long before he starts getting you to go to the chemist for him.

and how far away from buying drugs on the street do you think this all is? I'm done. you aren't listening.

He's ground you down to an unacceptable point op.

It's hard but you leaving may be what he needs to force change. Or not. But it will only get worse from here if you stay.

Actually he doesn't drive at the moment.

And that means I have to.

But anyway as I've just said. I know he's a wreck but I don't know what to do.

What would happen if you refused to drive him?

You're buying his illegal meds. You're driving him around to buy codeine. If he ODs, you will be in a whole heap of trouble.

So he's also forced you to lie to your own doctor to get prescribed medication that you've handed straight over to him for him to take?
I missed this.
This cannot go on or you’re end up looking like the one with the problem.

So you drove him round all those pharmacies on your holiday? Ruined the holiday for your children so daddy could get off his face on drugs.

WHY didn't you say no, refuse to drive him around for hours? I bet if you had, he'd have walked, because his addiction is his priority.

Of course he's going to blame you, he will blame anyone and anything but himself for his addiction, it's what addicts do.

Tell him he needs professional help or to go to na, or both.
If he wont go for help leave him. That's it.

How is the rest of your relationship - you allude to be under his financial control and ground down by it all.

Honestly out you and the kids first and make plans to leave - and for his sake he needs to reach rock bottom otherwise someone will get hurt - because he is not functioning properly at work either and people will notice.

But first you need to realise and upset NONE OF THIS IS YOUR FAULT

He sounds deeply abusive. Getting you to lie to your doctor to obtain drugs for him? Wearing you down by refusing to drop the subject if you won’t help him in his drug seeking behaviour? Stealing your identity to allow him to buy drugs illegally online?

Why would you put up with this? Stop thinking about poor little him, that’s part of the abuse conditioning. Think instead about you and the kids, you all deserve far better than this. Only an addict can sort themselves out, nobody else can do it for them. At the moment you’re enabling his addiction, not helping him. And you’re risking serious legal problems, not to mention problems with social services, if you carry on this way.

If there are safeguarding issues to do with his job, that matters. It means vulnerable people are being put at risk because they are relying on someone who is unable to put their needs first because the need for drugs will always come higher. It will mean that they are depending on someone whose moods will be volatile and whose judgement will be seriously impaired. For their sake if not for that of yourself and your kids, you need to report him now.

Your h is a major junkie and you're in denial.