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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dh ordering medication online

669 replies

meadowposy · 15/04/2018 11:46

I've found out about it because he's doing it through my name.

I don't know what to think about it and I'm asking here... Are these sites always dodgy? I can't talk to him about it as he tells me to be quiet and I don't know what I am talking about.

OP posts:
mummymeister · 23/04/2018 18:25

yes she has drizzle. she made a decision to let him use her name and medical history to order drugs over the internet. she made the decision to go to her own GP and fake an illness so that they would prescribe drugs to her to pass on to the drug addict. she makes a decision every time she lets him lock himself in his office to shoot up or swallow some shit.

she has also made a decision to leave her children in a harmful situation - one which could ultimately see the involvement of SS.

so yes, she is making decisions. really really poor ones. but she isn't reading any more, has her fingers in her ears and wants to ignore what she cant believe will happen to a naice middle class family. because of course only those that buy street drugs are real addicts, they are the ones that need catching and punishing. her H has it all under control/

LoniceraJaponica · 23/04/2018 21:19

In short, she is enabling him, even by doing nothing.

Missingstreetlife · 23/04/2018 21:57

Detach with love, as they say.
People may be rather overinvested.
I think killing yourself and leaving your wife and kids is a very angry, selfish thing to do in this scenario. Even threatening it is nasty.

Daisymay2 · 23/04/2018 22:41

I think OP posted wanting to be told the on line providers were great and there was no problem with what her husband is doing. She did not expect to be told quite as clearly that he is an addict and that he has incriminated her. Her health issues do not make her situation easy but it can't go on.
I am not 100% sure he is a doctor but he has a responsible professional position and the drug addictions put him in a vulnerable position. However his behaviour and threats are abusive. PP has wondered whether he has already suspended from his work as colleagues have realised his condition and that may account for him suddenly being more open with OP .
Mummymeister has many astute observations throughout this thread. Even if OP does not take the advice here, this thread may help others.

Aylarose · 23/04/2018 22:50

There are some legitimate sites such as 'Chemist Direct' however it is very unlikely that he is using a legitimate site and using a prescription IF he is pretending to be you!

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 23/04/2018 22:52

It’s a sad thread to read. I also strongly doubt her DH has gone cold turkey on Pregabalin/Gabapentin without any apparent problem.

HeedMove · 23/04/2018 23:21

Op if I were you I'd Google lyrica tv programme. I watched one after we met an Irish man last July on holiday who was out of control and told us he was addicted to "buds" it's nicknamed. Pregabilin. He told us hed put it in his bum to smuggle it over on the plane as he couldn't cope without it and his partner had no idea. It was a lovely hotel and he was a riot. He told us there us many people addicted to it in Ireland where he lives and there's been many suicides from it. More people taking it than heroin there now and you need to take more and more and more to get the same hit. He said it was the most addictive drug hed taken but he was still manaing to work for the time being.

The programme was horrific and the drugs not a lesser worry than codeine.

overduemamma · 23/04/2018 23:39

Pregabalin is highly addictive and taking that with codeine will highten the use of that. That's why heroin addicts take it as it gives them a much more high, he needs to seek help and you also do!

flubdub · 24/04/2018 01:55

Some of the replies on here have been brutal!

OP - I was in a somewhat similar situation a couple of years ago. My husband was addicted to drugs. I didn't know about it for around 12 months. He was buying them online, with my bank card.
I found out. He downplayed it. Said it wasn't a problem. It definitely WAS a problem. He didn't sleep EVER, didn't eat, and looked like death.
He was suicidal - and blamed me.

To cut a long story short, it all came to a head and I made him move out, leaving me and our 4 children.
Then, and only then, did he realise what a mess he had got himself into, and there was nobody else there to blame but himself. He told me he was going to kill himself, almost every day. He didn't.
He kicked the habit, on his own. Me and the kids had no involvement in his life while he did that.
Several months past, he was clean and happy, and we got back together.

It obviously wasn't as easy as it sounds, our life was hell and I still haven't quite forgiven him, but my point is, sometimes a bit of tough love is the only way, and you don't really know how anybody will react to an ultimatum, until you give it to them.

You need to be selfish, and concern yourself with your own sanity (and your DC's), and stop worrying SO much about your husbands.
It's hard, I know. But now might be the time to give him an ultimatum, a time frame, and warn him what will happen if he doesn't sort himself out. Losing his job might just be one of the better consequences to his habit, compared to losing his wife, children.....or life!

I'm here if you want to ask any questions. Look after yourself.
It doesn't always have to end up with the worst case scenario, and I'm here to prove that.

mummymeister · 24/04/2018 09:47

flubdub what a brilliant and positive post. I hope that others will read this and feel inspired.

the replies have been brutal because the OP just keeps minimising and all her posts are "Yes but...."

your situations are very different. you didn't know about it and she does. when you realised you kicked him out to protect yourself and your children. she wont. yours has come to a positive conclusion. I am just not certain that the OP's will.

IDrinkAndISewThings · 02/05/2018 20:38

meadowposey I’m just checking in to see how you’re getting on? That was a tough thread to read, just wanted to let you know I was still thinking about you Flowers

Badbadtromance · 06/05/2018 16:44

How are you op,?

strongerthan · 06/05/2018 20:19

With you @IDrinkAndISewThings 😊 z

freshstart24 · 13/06/2018 07:27

Hope you are ok OP. Mumsnet deleted yesterday's thread, I'm unsure why because I didn't see which way the thread went. Lots of good advice on this one though and I hope that you will take it.

StanLeess · 22/09/2019 15:13

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

chuttypicks · 22/09/2019 16:14

The thread is over a year old @StanLeess ......

hazell42 · 22/09/2019 16:20

I have ordered medication online for 5 years. Not illegal and not dodgy.
The packages have been intercepted at customs 2 or 3 times, opened and inspected. Nothing happened except I had to pay customs charge.
All that is fine. Buying them in your name and refusing to discuss, not fine. Does he have the sort of job where taking antidepressants is frowned upon? There are still some backward companies like this. Can't think of any other reason to do it

hazell42 · 22/09/2019 16:21

Sorry. Ignore. This thread only had few messages when I first looked at it and walked away from my phone

gobbynorthernbird · 22/09/2019 16:28

When the fuck did you walk away from your phone? Last April?

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