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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Dh ordering medication online

669 replies

meadowposy · 15/04/2018 11:46

I've found out about it because he's doing it through my name.

I don't know what to think about it and I'm asking here... Are these sites always dodgy? I can't talk to him about it as he tells me to be quiet and I don't know what I am talking about.

OP posts:
VladmirsPoutine · 15/04/2018 12:03

Righto, let's start from scratch shall we?

Do you have children? Is he under any medical care? Does he take prescriptions from his GP? How long has he been ordering online meds for? Does he have any pre-existing medical conditions?

Can you just add a bit of context for us to understand what is happening here?

meadowposy · 15/04/2018 12:04

I don't work so all my money is money he gives me but I do have a bank account he puts money in and so he just put more in to cover the costs and used that card.

Thanks for the info re the meds, I suspected as much.

OP posts:
meadowposy · 15/04/2018 12:06

He takes quite a lot of medication (prescribed) and is addicted to codeine which he admits but says he's trying to sort and pregabalin helps?

We do have children yes. Sorry its hard to know what to include.

OP posts:
HotSauceCommittee · 15/04/2018 12:10

He shouldn’t be telling you to be quiet when you challenge him. You’re scared of him, aren’t you? Sad

AlmostAJillSandwich · 15/04/2018 12:12

It is 100% YOUR business because he's ordering things in YOUR name!

If it is a reputable site, then they probably have a limit on how much he can order in his own name due to what is legal/safe, and hes getting around that, by then ordering in yours too. At the very least, what he is doing is fraud of some sort, and it also sounds like he's taking way above a safe dose, if he is indeed taking it all himself.

If it is not a reputable site, then i doubt they have a limit and so he wouldn't need to use your name at all.

I would be really worried, especially as you don't know exactly what or how much he's ordering, especially in your name. If he's dealing/selling it on, and gts caught, and some was ordered in your name, will you be held jointly accountable? If he is taking it himself which will be a very dangerous addiction, and something serious happens to him, again could you be held accountable if something happens to him, if you can't prove you weren't knowingly buying it for him?

If you insist on seeing what he's been buying in your name, will he become violent? Honestly, i'd have to put a stop to this one way or another, and if that meant phoning 101 and asking for advice, i'd do it.

Ducksarsehead · 15/04/2018 12:15

Pregabalin can be abused to get a high.it is also easy to overdose on. In a&e here there are signs in triage to warn hcp to look out for possible pregababalin overdoses as it has become a growing problem for abuse.

I would be worried op and if you can try and get your dh to talk to a gp to come off these meds. They need to be tapered slowly

Thingywhatsit · 15/04/2018 12:16

Pregbalin has a street value - Drs are getting more wary of prescribing it and I expect it will become a controlled drug in the next year or so.

If he is addicted to codeine then he is probably abusing the pregbalin hence him not going to the gp!

Addicts lie, it doesn't matter how much they love you, they will still lie to protect their addiction so they can get their fix. Please protect your children.

jacks11 · 15/04/2018 12:17

I’d be more concerned about him using your name and telling you it’s not your business. I order meds from overseas as I can’t get them on the NHS and can’t afford to go private. If his are from a tried and trusted source and he has researched and understood their use, along with potential side effects etc then I couldn’t get too worked up about it. People put much worse things in their bodies than unprescribed legit medicines

This is a very worrying attitude. Many "legit" medicines are dangerous, many are addictive. They can interact with other drugs. And a quick google might not tell you all you need to know re risks and side-effects (though you may believe you have all the info you need). In particular, there may be specific risks or side effects more relevant to you. And if your Dr's don't know you are taking this it can be even more dangerous. So actually, the fact a medication has been trialled and passed fit for human use does not make it suitable for use for everyone and every condition. There is a reason some medications are prescription only. But I suspect this explanation will fall on deaf ears.

Pregabalin is a drug used for a variety of purposes: epilepsy (less common now), chronic/neuropathic pain; occasionally for severe anxiety, are the main uses now. It is also a drug of abuse, both on it's own and when combined with opiates. It can be dangerous and does interact with a number of other medications. It is not suitable for people with certain medical conditions.

But yes, the fact he is ordering it in YOUR name is concerning. And suggests he knows what he is doing is not sensible. Most legitimate and responsible online pharmacies will not sell prescription only medication without a prescription (though some provide an online/telephone consultation with a dr to get it, which can be fine but can also be worrisome in some cases as they have to rely on what the patients knows/tells them as they don't have access to full records).

And if they are a responsible UK supplier, they should let your GP know what they have supplied you with so that the GP is aware of what you have been given. This is to prevent harm to patients. If your supplier are not doing this, I'd think twice about using them- assuming you are using for legitimate purposes, of course. Of course, if sourced from abroad they will not contact your GP.

Jaxhog · 15/04/2018 12:18

Stop him using your card for starters. Then at least it's traceable only to him. But it sounds like he needs help if he's doing this. Why is he not talking to his GP?

JaniceBattersby · 15/04/2018 12:18

Your husband is a drug addict and is using your money and name to buy his drugs. Don’t dress it up. It’s not acceptable and in your shoes I’d be packing his shit up and telling him to find some other mug to fund his habit.

Hope you’re ok Flowers

GnotherGnu · 15/04/2018 12:18

I'd suggest telling your bank you've lost your card so that they cancel the one he's using. Then make sure he can't get the number on the replacement card.

AnnieAnoniMouser · 15/04/2018 12:18

You need to end this relationship. You need to be very careful how you do it though.

Do you own or rent?

Do you have family or friends nearby?

meadowposy · 15/04/2018 12:19

He definitely would not go to his GP - it would have serious implications due to safeguarding and other reasons I won't go into.

The problem is something of a catch 22 between him needing help but being unable to access that help.

I'm as positive as I can be he is not dealing. Undoubtedly he is taking it himself.

OP posts:
ChinwagCharlieBear · 15/04/2018 12:19

Pregrablin can be prescribed for anxiety but I have also seen documentaries on it as people are selling it illegally for drug users.

If you can't talk to him about it OP then that is a massive issue. Are you happy?

Juells · 15/04/2018 12:19

If it has a street value and he's buying it in your name, could you be charged with drug-dealing if it's found in your house? You've bought and paid for it, allegedly, and he's at arm's length.

I really think you should look at what might happen with your children if the shit hits the fan over this. You could lose custody. Plus, do you really want to raise children in a house with an addict?

meadowposy · 15/04/2018 12:20

There's no point cancelling the card. The only money I have is what dh gives to me.

OP posts:
GnotherGnu · 15/04/2018 12:21

You don't have to cancel the card, just get a different one so he can't use it.

TammySwansonTwo · 15/04/2018 12:22

I’ve been on pregabalin before at the same time as opioids - if he’s trying to get off codeine then I suppose it may help with the withdrawal, but he really needs to talk to his doctor, mixing drugs without medical supervision is unwise.

What happens when you try to talk to him? What would happen if you notified his GP? I mean, they’d stop prescribing the codeine for a start but would he just get hold of it any way?

leafblower · 15/04/2018 12:23

I'd be more concerned about him having an opiate addiction op.

GnotherGnu · 15/04/2018 12:23

Just seen the thing about safeguarding issues. Would these by any chance be safeguarding issues concerning you and your children? If so you really need to run for the hills. His drug use will come out, and if the authorities realise you've been helping him to hide it there is a serious danger that they will be looking at child protection action.

PotteringAlong · 15/04/2018 12:24

He cannot buy it in your name. For your children’s sake, if he overdosed and dies you cannot be implicated as his drug dealer. You also cannot be in a situation where you leave him, he fights you for custody and uses the paper trail of you buying prescription drugs online to prove your drug addiction...

meadowposy · 15/04/2018 12:24

He generally buys the codeine over the counter.

If I notified the GP it would have very serious ramifications and his mental state would deteriorate as a result. I cannot do that to him.

OP posts:
JackietheBackie · 15/04/2018 12:24

Pregabalin has a lot of street value and he could be selling/trading it for codeine. I believe it is used a lot by alcoholics to enhance the effects of small amounts of alcohol. It is causing a lot of problems for some already vulnerable people.

meadowposy · 15/04/2018 12:25

No, not related to me or the children. Sorry, I have to be vague.

OP posts:
Slartybartfast · 15/04/2018 12:26

you need to talk to him op, other than sneakily ordering a new card or something? remove the details from the website.talk to him.
or ltb
you must have child benefit in your name?

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