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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Dh ordering medication online

669 replies

meadowposy · 15/04/2018 11:46

I've found out about it because he's doing it through my name.

I don't know what to think about it and I'm asking here... Are these sites always dodgy? I can't talk to him about it as he tells me to be quiet and I don't know what I am talking about.

OP posts:
meadowposy · 15/04/2018 12:47

Jill this will sound like I'm making light of it and I'm not but there's no chance dh would let anyone get his medication, he guards it like smaug the dragon and erebors treasure.

I am not well myself at the moment and I don't have the energy to confront him. I do believe he wants to quit as he cries about it sometimes but the medications just taken over.

OP posts:
meadowposy · 15/04/2018 12:48

Sorry Vlad. You're being very nice and calm Smile He is very paranoid and it gets to me sometimes too.

OP posts:
Slartybartfast · 15/04/2018 12:48

point him in the right directions op. but do not enable with this

Tara336 · 15/04/2018 12:48

I take Baclofen and Pregablin for my MS I refuse to take the prescribed dose as I literally cannot function f I do. It’s extremely worrying that your husband is abusing these drugs, he really does need to seek help as if he’s driving and taking these drugs he could kill someone

endoflevelbaddy · 15/04/2018 12:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NoMudNoLotus · 15/04/2018 12:49

@meadowposy

*Pregabalin is a drug that is being closely monitored by the NHS because it is open to abuse - drug abusers like it because it is augments the effects of illicit substances. It is highly sought after.

Your DP and you need to seek support asap.* 

ilovesooty · 15/04/2018 12:49

He's an addict and implicating you in the illicit purchase of a drug which is widely abused by offenders and other addicts.
He won't seek help through the accepted channels. Reading between the lines, your relationship is abusive, there would undoubtedly be child protection concerns if his drug misuse came to light and I would not be surprised if he were at risk of losing his job as well.

GnotherGnu · 15/04/2018 12:50

This is seriously worrying. He appears to have safeguarding duties in relation to health care and is taking all sorts of drugs whilst trying to hide it. He's not just taking codeine to wind down, he's taking it because he's drug dependent. There's a very good reason why people in health care with safeguarding duties shouldn't be drug addicted, i.e. because they put people in danger.

OnTheRise · 15/04/2018 12:52

I've been prescribed Pregabalin in the past for a chronic pain condition. It didn't help with the pain but it had a side effect of euphoria, which was amazing. Like nothing I've ever felt before.

I stopped taking it because my GP was concerned about it being addictive. I can see how it would be. There's a lot of concern about this medication right now, because it is so easily abused.

I honestly don't think the children are in any danger whatsoever. They really arent. He uses the codeine to wind down but he's on a lot of medication for other things and he overdoses on baclofen too.

They are in danger, though, OP. He shouts at you when you question him. You back down to stop him shouting. They are seeing this abuse, and are internalising it. The whole thing about him taking your hire car when you were on holiday is bad too.

Your children are struggling even if you don't see it.

Contact Women's Aid. Take advice. It's likely you won't have to confront him about anything. You and your children would be better off without an addict in your lives.

NoMudNoLotus · 15/04/2018 12:53

I am fairly convinced this DP is a doctor.

mummymeister · 15/04/2018 12:53

meadowposy - have a quick google of stories where kids have taken their parents illegal medication.

in every single one, the parent couldn't believe it had happened because it was in a safe place/well guarded/ how did they know.

don't be one of those people apologising for your DH's illegal drugs seriously injuring or killing your children or someone elses children at work or someone elses loved one on the roads.

You don't need to confront him. that will be absolutely bloody pointless. he has taken a huge quantity of stuff if he needs to go to 3 or 4 different pharmacies to get it, plus buying stuff on line plus whatever else he is taking that you don't know about.

you need to use your energy to get out. Bloody hell if he was my DH, I would be telling his employer. you have given him masses of support, now you are just enabling and he is using you.

LimonViola · 15/04/2018 12:53

OnTheRise Luckily the euphoria goes away after a while of taking it and you don't feel a thing from it.

That is usually the point at which you're physically dependent, and it's a nightmare or a drug to get off, one of the most difficult I've ever experienced. But it worked so well at what it was prescribed for it was, on balance, worth it for me.

Missingstreetlife · 15/04/2018 12:53

Almostjill, no need for panic.
Op if your partner needs help he should go to narcotics anon, or if a health worker as above. Has he friends or family?
He prob shouldn't be driving. If he wont get proper help you need to take a good look at your situation, it's only going to get worse.
Good luck, not easy, but kids first and you. His addiction last, people often have to reach rock bottom before they change. Look for your own support and get ready to be on your own. Best wishes

CrochetBelle · 15/04/2018 12:54

You say he takes a lot of prescribed mesication too. What is he being treated for?

AlmostAJillSandwich · 15/04/2018 12:58

He may well be this protective over them now, but do the children ever see him take them? They may not realise how dangerous they are when they see their daddy popping them like sweeties.
It only takes once, one time he leaves a bottle or packet out, one time he's asleep and the kids go looking, and disaster. Maybe they only take one, hate the taste and leave it at that. But at their age/size, one could be all it takes to cause irreparable damage, or worse.

Even if they aren't at risk from him for being able to access the drugs, they're at risk of him not caring for them adequately. Drug addicts are not in their right mind, they often don't see dangers that are obvious to those not under the influence. This man should absolutely not be driving or have anyone in his care, he's not aware enough to prevent danger. And what if one of the children brings up seeing daddy taking all this medication? Is he as likely to fly off the handle repeatedly screaming at them the way you say he does with you?

Even if it all works out ok, and he manages his addiction, it will leave a lasting impression on your children. You have no idea how much of this they are picking up on and taking in. What if one day, they realise exactly what was going on, that you didn't put them first or protect them, and they end up hating you for it? Is risking losing your children, either by going to prison, having them taken away from you, or them hating you all by themselves for not removing them from this situation, worth protecting him for?

NoMudNoLotus · 15/04/2018 12:58

You need to report this to his GP.

He is putting patients at harm and you are implicit in this .

meadowposy · 15/04/2018 13:00

They never see him take them. He goes to his study and he locks the door.

Besides the kids could easily take his prescribed meds as well. They don't because we aren't stupid and neither are the kids.

OP posts:
meadowposy · 15/04/2018 13:01

The only person at risk is dh. Its stupid running round like henny penny saying the sky is falling down.

Dh is ill. I know that and I am scared for him but we need to address the existing problems. Not problems that don't exist.

OP posts:
Missingstreetlife · 15/04/2018 13:02

If you can't get cb because of his income you are losing out on your own pension, NI contributions/credits.
You may be able to claim and he pays tax.

leafblower · 15/04/2018 13:02

It makes no difference it being over the counter.

Many countries (including where I am) now will not sell ANY codeine otc at all. Britain is way too slow to be doing the same. I broke my bloody foot and was in incredible pain and even a doctor couldn't prescribe me more than a week's worth of low dose codeine.

So many people here have had organ failure as op said from taking huge l, regular doses of paracetamol to get the desired codeine.

Codeine dependence so often leads on to stronger opiates or other narcotics.

I'm sorry to be harsh op but I would be removing myself and my children until the Dh was no longer using codeine. And I'm saying that as someone that's suffered myself from a short codeine addiction many years ago after an injury.

Slartybartfast · 15/04/2018 13:03

How do you think this is going to end op?
you presumably want him to give up?
are you banging your head against a brick wall?

GnotherGnu · 15/04/2018 13:03

If DH is the only person at risk, why are there safeguarding issues in him going to the doctors?

CrochetBelle · 15/04/2018 13:03

What is he being treated for with prescription medication?

Slartybartfast · 15/04/2018 13:04

does he need a pain clinic or an addiction route?

CrochetBelle · 15/04/2018 13:04

And what else is he ordering alongside the pregabalin?