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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dh ordering medication online

669 replies

meadowposy · 15/04/2018 11:46

I've found out about it because he's doing it through my name.

I don't know what to think about it and I'm asking here... Are these sites always dodgy? I can't talk to him about it as he tells me to be quiet and I don't know what I am talking about.

OP posts:
Daisymay2 · 16/04/2018 23:21

Tiddleinkiepoo
OP husband does not appear to be taking legal drugs. He is buying drugs on line without medical supervision and using her name and bank or credit card to do so. So either he is purchasing from dodgy sites, probably abroad and the drugs may not be the real thing as fakes are a problem from many internet sites, or he is impersonating her on on line medical consultations, which is fraud.
She has said he is visiting various pharmacies to get codeine containing products and then is extracting the codeine.
The situation is different from the one you describe

winterisstillcoming · 16/04/2018 23:30

I'm not sure that you realise that the only way you can help your partner is by getting him some professional help. The only way any of you are going to get out of this downward spiral is if you take control and get him some help. I doubt you'd get into any trouble if you went down the medical route. Yes he will lose his career but you all will get to keep your sanity.

If you think you are helping him by letting this happen, then you really are deluded I'm afraid.

Also, if he is a doctor, he needs to be off the register. He is a danger, and you may not just have his life to worry about if he doesn't get help.

Nobody here will judge your husband for his addiction, as it can happen so easily. The longer you leave it, the more you will be judged (by SS) for enabling him.

Please please get him and yourself some help before something really serious happens.

DoinItForTheKids · 17/04/2018 05:31

Tiudle, one of the key things that social services consider when deciding whether to remove children or to place them under a child protection order is whether the parent fully understands what's going on. One of the absolute key issues is if parents are deluded and do not have the proper insight into how serious the situation is that is the main risk with social services. The concerned people are expressing on here is because he has so far failed to take the steps that social services would expect knowing what she knows. You alright that they may well not take her children away from her but there would be an investigation social worker visits and the children could be placed onto a child protection order which would mean the involvement of a variety of agencies. If op does nothing about the situation herself now, a child protection order is a definite possibility.

mummymeister · 17/04/2018 08:34

What everyone on this thread is trying to say, in one way or another, is that doing nothing and leaving things as they are is not an option.

who knows what the local SS team are like or what his employers are like etc. We don't.

What is clear is that switching to this new drug, which the OP's H claims he is using to make it easier to stop taking the codeine is just replacing one drug with another. he might get weaned off the codeine but what is he going to take to get weaned off of the new drug.

he has the shakes so it wont be long before someone close to them - the Nanny, the employer, a work colleague - starts to wonder.

with all of these things it is always better to be the one in control than to wait until situations spiral out of control. The drugs are going to kill him if he carries on - or at the least cause some serious health issues. He cant see the wood for the trees because he is blinded by his addiction and the only person that can take control of this situation is the OP. And yes that really does suck but at least telling it how it is and getting the chance to say it first has to better than waiting until there is a knock at the door.

Missingstreetlife · 17/04/2018 17:13

Please speak to clouds or the priory in confidence, anonymously.
See if it could work, then can you persuade dh to do the same.

hazell42 · 17/04/2018 17:27

I have been ordering meds online for 3 years. Always the same company. Always the same drugs. Never had a problem. Had the drugs tested and They are exactly what if says on the tin.
Don't use anyone else's name though

leafblower · 17/04/2018 17:39

Read the fucking thread people.

LoniceraJaponica · 17/04/2018 20:49

That was the most spectacularly unhelpful post on this thread hazell42 Hmm

And that was an excellent summing up of the OP's situation mummymeister

Please come back and let us know how you are meadowposy. Stay strong Flowers

Coyoacan · 18/04/2018 07:32

Very well summed up mummymeister

freshstart24 · 18/04/2018 07:47

Hope you are ok meadow.

Original poster
meadowposy · 20/04/2018 12:41

He is now ordering something called gabapentin? From Google it seems fairy harmless.

OP posts:
Quartz2208 · 20/04/2018 12:43

You say he can’t hold a hot cup presumably due to shakes? I think he is self prescribing now to try and solve his physical issues caused by the addiction

Quartz2208 · 20/04/2018 12:44

And it also enhances other drugs it’s not a fairly harmless one at all

OnTheRise · 20/04/2018 13:23

Gabapentin is another really strong painkiller, similar to Pregabalin (aka Lyrica). It's a prescription-only item too.

It's not a softer option.

freshstart24 · 20/04/2018 14:01

It's used to treat nerve pain and is known to be becoming another drug open to abuse. A quick google will tell you this.

Used properly it is a painkiller with a sedative effect and used to treat epilepsy, nerve damage, restless leg syndrome but increasingly it is being abused. It enhances euphoria caused by opioids amongst other things.

Meadow, I hope you are ok. Please consider the advice in this thread to stop facilitating DH's addiction.

freshstart24 · 20/04/2018 14:02

It's used to treat nerve pain and is known to be becoming another drug open to abuse. A quick google will tell you this.

Used properly it is a painkiller with a sedative effect and used to treat epilepsy, nerve damage, restless leg syndrome but increasingly it is being abused. It enhances euphoria caused by opioids amongst other things.

Meadow, I hope you are ok. Please consider the advice in this thread to stop facilitating DH's addiction.

LoniceraJaponica · 20/04/2018 14:04

Meadow please stop minimising your husband's drug issues and listen to some of the excellent advice here.

I hope you haven't allowed him to use your card for his latest drugs.

If you do nothing it will all end in tears.

ilovesooty · 20/04/2018 14:06

Gabapentin is not harmless. It is also prescription only and open to misuse in the same way as Pregabalin.

montenotte · 20/04/2018 14:09

did you cancel your card?

Huggybear16 · 20/04/2018 14:09

Gabapentin and pregabalin are very similar to each other (same group of medicines).

Original poster
meadowposy · 20/04/2018 15:23

OK thanks. That makes sense.

OP posts:
OnTheRise · 20/04/2018 17:17

Please tell me you cancelled your card so that he couldn't have ordered his Gabapentin using it. Please.

Coveredinbeeeeeeeeeeeees · 20/04/2018 17:23

Have you actually bothered to do anything about this yet?

LemonysSnicket · 20/04/2018 17:34

You are going to be arrested. He is financially abusing you and making you liable for his crime.

He won’t go to jail. You will.

Original poster
meadowposy · 20/04/2018 17:47

Re the card

It's got my name on it but dh manages it everything that goes in everything that goes out. His phone manages it through online banking.

It would make no difference if I cancelled it.

What I should do and what I can bring myself to do are different.

OP posts: