Really selfish woman in Cafe today - need to vent!

[maryclare]

DD(2) on Easter holiday. Took her for a day shopping. Halfway through stop at a well know coffee shop for a treat. It was very busy and as we were queuing we were both looking around for a free table. All full except one in a corner which had 3 chairs, two of which had shopping bags on. People being served - lots with kids - walking round and round trying to find a space. We'd been queuing a long time, but I hadn't sent DD to 'bags' a space, partly because I didn't think it was fair to those in front of us, and partly because I know Mumsnetters feelings about doing this ;)

Woman in front of me gets served and takes her tray to the table with the shopping bags. She is about 60, and as far as I can see has no mobility/health issues to prevent her walking round searching for a table ONCE SHE HAS BEEN SERVED.
I am about to make a point and sit on the third chair when a two seated table becomes free nearby so DD and I sit there. Other people are still searching for seats. CF woman then puts one of the bags on the floor, and sits on that chair. Leaves the other bag on a chair and then TAKES HER COAT OFF AND PUTS IT OVER THE BACK OF THE LAST REMAINING CHAIR! I thought CF but maybe she was waiting for a friend. But no, DD and I were there 30 to 40 minutes in which time she had a drink and a sandwich and read the DMail cover to cover to pretend she didn't notice there were no seats. She was still there when we left.

AIBU to think that the cafe staff should have either stopped her 'reserving' a table in the first place or at least asked her to remove her things from the free seats so others could sit down?

Disclaimer: We're not halfway through the holidays yet and I am grumpy.

I never think it’s rude for someone to get a table whilst the other person is in the queue, more like using common sense. I always think it’s ridiculous when someone is walking around around a cafe like a lost sheep with a tray full and nowhere to sit, well more fool them. What is up with people? Is it not obvious that you ensure there is a free table first before you queue up and make an idiot of yourself and don’t get me started on those people who do just this and then come and ask if they can sit with you because they didn’t use their brain and get a table first!!!

what is the problem here ???
is it because s person ON THeRE OWN sat at a table ?
sorry they don't make tables for one !!!
just because people are ON THere OWN doesn't mean they aren't entitled to sit in comfort ...
anyway she's older than you
have some respect. and teach your child to have respect also
back in the day people asked children to give up their seat for those older ones !!!
rant

and she was 60, the cheeky old trollop...how dare she be out like a normal person?

Those who are saying more fool them for not getting a table before getting food/drink, what are those of us who go to cafes alone supposed to do? I don't have someone to leave at a table while I queue so I have no choice but to find one after being served.

If there was no other space and she wouldn't voluntarily move her coat I'd move it for her. I wouldn't have done 30 years ago but I'm more assertive now.

Absolutely terrible - who the hell reads the Daily Mail cover to cover?

In a busy café I would put a bag on a chair particularly as it is difficult to carry a tray, handbag and shopping bag if I was shopping alone. If I did not have a shopping bag I probably would not bother to be honest and just wait for a table to become available. Yes the woman was selfish to bag three chairs when it was just her. I don't have an issue sharing tables so would not think to reserve more chairs than I need. If there were people milling around looking for tables or having to eat or drink standing up when waiting for one to be available I think it is selfish not to suggest sharing if the other party is happy to do that. If you are that precious about wanting to sit alone then pick a less busy café.

As above tbh I would not order without having a seat and people can always ask her to move her bags if needed- she could hardly say no now could she!

This has probably already been said - haven't read the whole thread - but YABVU just to say "as far as I could see she has no mobility / health issues".

Do you seriously think that most mobility / health issues are visible at a distance to random people? A lot of spinal problems aren't, probably most cases of arthritis, CFS etc etc. I hate this attitude that 'real' disabilities / health problems must be visible at a glance.

I wish this was the only thing I had to worry about... swap lives with me 😂

I feel embarrassed for the OP

She clearly expected support.

Such a non event.

WickedWitchOfTheWest83

I know!

Although some people the OP for example don’t have any sense of perspective. So fact they get her up at nonsense like this doesn’t necessarily mean their life is a bed of roses.

Well, once when on a bust train, there were a few seats further up the carriage, but near thie door was. Double seat with one woman on the seat and her hand bag on the other. I asked her to move her bag so I could sit, she replied that she would rather not! Didn't know what to say, shocked silence, I'm sure I don't smell or look like a weirdo! I would never have the balls to say this. Any opinions any one?

Busy train, not bust

Rude to hog seats. Also when it's busy I think it's rude for a person/group to go and claim a table while someone else queues (reasonable exceptions obvs). Other day two women claimed a table while other halves queued, because it was busy. We didn't wait long for a table - but by the time we'd finished eating, they were still holding the table with no food arrived, all the while other people looking for tables!

She clearly expected support.

Which she got.

I hate this ‘reserving’ of tables before you have your food. It’s so inefficient to have tables occupied by bags/coats instead of actual people!

The worst place I’ve been for this is the always busy cafe in the British library - people (who 90% of the time are by themselves) put a book on a table with two chairs then go off to queue & get food etc which can take 10-15 minutes. Then expect to waltz back to occupy a table for two at their convenience.

Last time I was there there were 10+ tables like this, so I simply sat down with my lunch at an unoccupied table with a book left in it, fully prepared to move (grudgingly!) if two people from the queue did come over to say it was theirs.

Of course what happened was a woman who was on her own stomped over with her food, huffily sat down opposite me, then continued to glare at me. Leaving me no course of action other than to passively aggressively smile at her over my coffee.

southeastdweller

Not much!

Vent away but why would you put 'really selfish woman' on the OP leader?

Have you no home to go to?

Is your life that lonely you would discuss this over the internet?

I'm not sure I have much of an opinion on the seats issue- apart from the ridiculousness of buying over priced food and drink and not ensuring you have somewhere to sit and eat it- but I'm all for a bit more give and take on the human interaction front.

I'm actually hoping I get to sit next to pooryorick one day and I shall make a point of asking those I ask if ' I can sit here?' If that is their code name....

On a related note, we produce about 57 million bacteria every minute in our personal vicinity and there is NOTHING you can do but share the lovely bugs. It's actually how we evolved and is quite necessary to a functioning immune system and a lot more.

These are things I might discuss in a cafe one day.

@maryclare - I think the theory is that, on MN, dd2 means ‘my second daughter’ whilst dd(2) means ‘my 2-year-old daughter’ - it’s not a rule, but I think that’s how the majority do it (though this is based purely on my own observations and has no statistical evidence, before anyone pulls me up on it).

Knickers in twist over nothing !

Sorry I can’t see what the issue is 🤷‍♀️ The small things people post about, sometimes you can just handle it at the time and say excuse me could we have those seats please. It’s not that hard.

Completely aside from the original topic as I am close to sixty and would happily sit by myself and happily give my purse a seat too. I also would have sent dc to an empty table while i waited to get food.

BUT!! My SON rant is for the horrid cf's who put their jackets in prime real estate at the movie theater and return just as the movie begins. Everytime, no matter how early I am, A family with 5 coats is in the best seats of the theater. I want to do something untoward to their vile, placeholding coats!

Oops! I was arguing with spellcheck and they won. Aibu not son.