To not know what to do about DD3 and surrogacy

[MyMagicStars]

My twins are identical, and 19- currently home and about to go back to uni. They've always been incredibly close and inseparable, but they now have blossomed since living apart and gaining independence separately.
However, this morning there's been a huge row while I was out between them, resulting in tears and shouting. When she was six, DT1 had to have her ovaries removed, meaning she can't conceive while DT2 can. When they were teenagers and we were explaining this, DT2 jumped at the chance of carrying for her twin, and obviously, we spoke about how it might change and she would have to really think.
With the talk of babies currently at home, DT1 has spoken to her sister again and is asking a lot of questions about when she would be comfortable, etc, and DT2 is getting more uncomfortable, and has snapped that she doesn't think it'll work. DT1 is more maternal, and has always wanted children while DT2 is less intense about it. DT1 is absolutely devastated. Obviously DT2 has full control of her body, and I think DT1 needs to see someone for help about her feelings, but she feels that she'll be laughed at for worrying about fertility so early on. I can completely see why DT2 has changed her mind, but am worried this is going to really damage their relationship. Has anyone dealt with this before? We have never ever mentioned DT2 or our other daughters with regard to surrogacy to DT1, and have mentioned possibilities- however, I think she feels that DT2 being identical to her means that the baby will be more "hers" this way. I'm upset to see DT1 this troubled, and have no idea what to do- or how to support each girl.
DT1 is currently packing for uni, DT2 has stormed off somewhere. Don't think they've ever had a fight like this before. We've always encouraged them to be unique- they have very different names, dress differently, separate hobbies, etc. They were at boarding school together in the same dorm for nine years before this, so absolutely joined at the hip (by choice, I was always getting outraged texts that teachers threatened to split them up if they didn't stop talking!) and I didn't know there was this much tension.

To those saying this isn't surrogacy being suggested, it actually is.

Traditional surrogacy involve the surrogate mother acting as egg donor as well as carrying the baby. This is what DT1 seems to be asking.

Gestational surrogacy involves the surrogate acting as host only - carrying the pregnancy. This involves an ivf cycle.

Traditional surrogacy IS surrogacy. But is an incredibly bad idea in this situation and I agree that the OP clearly thinks that DT2 should do this.

I echo the calls of counselling for DT1 and exploration of her fertility options.

There is a Jodi Picoult novel called My Sister’s Keeper where the elder daughter has leukaemia and the younger daughter is conceived specifically to act as a bone marrow daughter for the older one. At 13, the younger daughter sues for medical emacipation because the parents are assuming that she will be happy to donate a kidney to the elder one, and she wants to gain bodily autonomy.

Is that the one everyone’s thinking of?

Bone marrow donor.

Edit button, MNHQ!

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This sounds like a very difficult situation to be in. But I can’t help but feel you have made it all worse than it should have been and continue to fan the flames so to speak. Twin 1 should not be making any of her siblings feel responsible for her fertility issues. Not being able to have her own child is heartbreaking but ta not the fault of her sisters, I can also see the appeal of using her twin for eggs as the child will be as close to her own as possible. But you cannot expect someone who hasn’t even started their own family yet, to simply hand over a child that will be biologically theirs and have carried themselves for nine months. She has to get some help to try and realise these feelings aren’t above her sisters rights to their bodies. Tough situation but I feel you are making it worse. Discuss other options, emphasise the many other ways she can become a mother. It will never be easy for her I’m sure but her upset isn’t enough of a reason to expect her sisters to give her a baby.