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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH shouted at potential home buyer

179 replies

Noseyhouseviewers · 08/04/2018 12:05

A man came to view our house today and whilst showing him the master bedroom, he opened up my wardrobe and had a peep in.

I felt a bit uncomfortable but I'm desperate to sell so was gonna let it slide. Cue DH asking him 'what the hell did he think he was doing?' and 'what weirdo snoops through someone's wardrobe?' The man said he was gauging how much space there was but DH snapped back that 'the wardrobe doesnt come with the house'.

The man left abruptly.

We had an argument after, I thought DH could have politely asked him to not look in the wardrobe but DH said the atmosphere would turn sour no matter what was said to challenge the guy, hence he didn't hold back.

He also said I was willing to sacrifice my dignity to sell the house and should have more self respect which I found hurtful.

Who was BU, and WWYD in that situation?

OP posts:
user1487175389 · 08/04/2018 12:08

Is he usually aggressive and unpredictable, or is this an isolated incident?

Possible the man was acting really strangely but perhaps your dh could have been more diplomatic.

ohhereweareagain · 08/04/2018 12:09

I'm with your dh sorry. I'd be well impressed if mine did the same although I doubt he would Grin

Coldhandscoldheart · 08/04/2018 12:10

Perhaps you should let the estate agent do future viewings?
People look in and at everything when they view, sorry, it’s weird, but they do.

snewsname · 08/04/2018 12:12

If it was a fitted wardrobe the bloke was obviously ok to look. If it was a stand alone wardrobe that you would be taking with you - that's weird.

PartyRingss · 08/04/2018 12:13

It does sound a bit strange but maybe the man though the wardrobe came with the house or was looking to see what size wardrobe (depth) would fit?

With hindsight when I was looking at my house I wish I had looked in the kitchen cupboards (but thought it might be seen as nosey or weird) because then I would have discovered the kitchen I thought was ok on the outside was actually full of broken shelves/not fitted correctly/lacking in space and would have tried to adjust the price accordingly.

AlbertaSimmons · 08/04/2018 12:14

I think your DH was right to say something, but perhaps could have been more diplomatic. I have worked in property and the way people behave in other people's houses is outrageous tbh. Opening wardrobes and drawers is fairly standard, even when they are freestanding and quite obviously not part of the fixtures and fittings. Opening fridges and commenting on the contents is another, as is sitting on beds, sofas etc.

StarbucksSmarterSister · 08/04/2018 12:14

People look in and at everything when they view, sorry, it’s weird, but they do.

I must be unusual then because I've never looked in someone else's wardrobe, chest of drawers etc. Built in wardrobes would be different (I'd still say "do you mind if I check the space?) but personal items that are obviously not staying, no way. Kitchen cupboards etc, of course I would.

Both of them were rude.

Queenio24 · 08/04/2018 12:14

Wow, I think you've lost that sale Blush.
The best advice I got when selling is that you've decided you are moving at the point you advertise your house, so you need to detach yourself emotionally.

thecatsthecats · 08/04/2018 12:15

Have to admit that on a second viewing, I do ask politely to check doors/cupboard sizes, taps, everything, but not just moveable furniture!

NewYearNewMe18 · 08/04/2018 12:15

My house is on the market, the EA does my viewings and she told me people open cupboards and drawers.

Fitted wardrobes, I'd want to see the internal fittings, kitchen drawers I'd want to see if they were still sliding on their runners.

However, as yours isn't fitted - it's a step too far IMHO. DH could have been a little more polite.

Tika77 · 08/04/2018 12:15

I would never have the cheek to look in someone’s wardrobe and would be proud of my husband for such a reaction but in reality it’s be me doing the shouting.

AlbertaSimmons · 08/04/2018 12:16

And I think your DH is right, the atmosphere would have turned sour no matter what he said, because people don't like having their behaviour challenged.

Kitkatonthemat · 08/04/2018 12:16

I'm with your DH too. I once had a female open my underwear drawer when viewing my house. I was mortified and the drawers (excuse the pun!) clearly did not come with the house. To this day I wish I'd been more assertive in telling her it was not appropriate.

Let the estate agents deal with the viewings - then you don't need to be subjected to this type of odd behaviour. Good luck with your house sale Thanks

waterrat · 08/04/2018 12:16

I really advise you to let the estate agent do the viewings - it's off putting for buyers to have to look with you there.

Original poster
Noseyhouseviewers · 08/04/2018 12:16

user1487 it's pretty rare that he raises his voice but he has no fear at challenging unusual behaviour. I usually walk away or leave it be.

OP posts:
MinaPaws · 08/04/2018 12:17

If it's a built in wardrobe, your DP was being unfair, if it isn't, then I don't blame him.

AlbertaSimmons · 08/04/2018 12:17

You could get the EA to handle your viewings, but he/she won't stop people prying through your stuff, you just won't be there to see them do it.

Els1e · 08/04/2018 12:18

I think your husband was unreasonable and rude. Yes, looking in a wardrobe that is not stopping is odd but did not deserve being shouted at. Is it obvious how deep the space is without opening the wardrobe door? I don’t blame the man for leaving. Agree with other pp, if you want to sell the house, then have viewings without your husband around if he is going to take offence every time someone opens a cupboard door. Hope you get sold soon.

SukiTheDog · 08/04/2018 12:18

The man should have asked first. Your DH overreacted

frasier · 08/04/2018 12:19

Yep, they look everywhere.

When I was a student the landlord decided to sell the house I was renting. I (kindly) let him arrange viewings while I was still living there. One couple walked around making rude comments about the place even though I was in the room but then stopped at a painting I had hung above the fireplace. She turned to He and said "We don't want this place but I'm going to ask for a price for that painting." She went very red when I replied "Why would you want to buy a picture of my father?"

Original poster
Noseyhouseviewers · 08/04/2018 12:19

It was one of those giant freestanding IKEA wardrobes that holds all ur clothes, knickers etc. No separate chest of drawers in the room.

OP posts:
HasAnyoneGotAProblemWithThat · 08/04/2018 12:20

Wardrobe- not ok
Fitted - absolutely
So depends on which one it would be.

People do look & open things. They are buying a house. They don’t have sentimental attachment. When we moved we let agents do all the viewings.

We only met with the buyers when we knew they were serious.

Quartz2208 · 08/04/2018 12:20

Its a difficult one as the man probably was just gauging space - so calling him a weirdo was off (after all he had no idea what was in it) but as it was not with the house he should have asked

The stuff your DH said later about self respect is completely out of order

elisenbrunnen · 08/04/2018 12:20

I think your DH has a point - but, people do open drawers and doors that they have no right to! He might have to get used to it Grin

AlbertaSimmons · 08/04/2018 12:21

suki why would it have been ok if he asked first? It was a freestanding piece of furniture. He had absolutely no reason, none at all, to look inside it Confused.

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