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AIBU?

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Original poster

DH shouted at potential home buyer

179 replies

Noseyhouseviewers · 08/04/2018 12:05

A man came to view our house today and whilst showing him the master bedroom, he opened up my wardrobe and had a peep in.

I felt a bit uncomfortable but I'm desperate to sell so was gonna let it slide. Cue DH asking him 'what the hell did he think he was doing?' and 'what weirdo snoops through someone's wardrobe?' The man said he was gauging how much space there was but DH snapped back that 'the wardrobe doesnt come with the house'.

The man left abruptly.

We had an argument after, I thought DH could have politely asked him to not look in the wardrobe but DH said the atmosphere would turn sour no matter what was said to challenge the guy, hence he didn't hold back.

He also said I was willing to sacrifice my dignity to sell the house and should have more self respect which I found hurtful.

Who was BU, and WWYD in that situation?

OP posts:
AjasLipstick · 08/04/2018 12:48

frasier yes to the RUDE viewers! I had someone say "Oh those tiles are BAD! Har har"

As though they were something I'd been putting up with. They were very beautiful original 60s tiles which I'd sourced and were and are extremely tasteful.

She looked the type to enjoy twiggy shit and signs saying "LOVE LAUGH: and such.

InspiredByIntegrity · 08/04/2018 12:48

Potential buyer was being nosy. We've just sold & being looking at a few of properties. Not once tried to look in a wardrobe, even if it was fitted. Surely no purchase was ever dependent on the internal layout of a fitted wardrobe ?

blueduvetface · 08/04/2018 12:49

I would have been annoyed but I think your dh shouldn't have snapped.

Not that it's an excuse but when I was showing my house it was awful. I felt so so intruded on and upset. Only did it the once!!!

WorraLiberty · 08/04/2018 12:49

It was rude to look in the wardrobe but your husband sounds like a massive Diva.

blackteasplease · 08/04/2018 12:50

Man shouldn't have looked without asking. And If it's not fitted why look? Why would you leave it?

But your husband went way over over the top, I agree. So yanbu.

Bluntness100 · 08/04/2018 12:50

I would assume from thr mans comment he thought the wardrobe was staying. Many of those large ikea wardrobes do look built in. He may also have been considering asking to buy it with the house.

I think your husband over reacted. Calling rhe man a weirdo wasn't on. Neither is shouting at him. I don't think he should be present during viewings as he seems to have a hair trigger temper. What he said to you was also uncalled for and deeply unpleasant.

In future as the room is shown simply comment the wardrobes are not staying, as such no one will look in them.

YesItsMeIDontCare · 08/04/2018 12:53

My exH once looked in someone's fridge. The owner didn't lose their shit with him... but I did a bit!

Downtheroadfirstonleft · 08/04/2018 12:53

Massive overreaction by your DH!

implantsandaDyson · 08/04/2018 12:54

Christ your husband sounds like hard work. There is a middle ground between not saying anything and not holding back. And if my husband made a bit of a dick of himself and the proceeded to deflect it by mentioning my lack of self respect, he would have been told to catch himself on and grow up.

KittyVonCatsworth · 08/04/2018 12:55

Without outing myself too much, I’m living in a house that’s on the market temporarily. My landlord forgot to tell the agent I was living there. One day lying in food stained clothes, braless, slovenly the agent appears with a couple. Only after they’d gone did I notice my vibrator on the bedside cabinet. I did a cowboy clean of all shite lying around but failed to see the purple dildo on the bedside cabinet.

flowerslemonade · 08/04/2018 12:56

lol twiggy shit. I hate those things.

Good job he didn't find a pile of sex toys or something.

I'd feel a bit invaded if someone opened my wardrobe. It's split into two and I use the floor space to store other things. Nothing raunchy just personal items.

tiggytape · 08/04/2018 12:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

YoThePussy · 08/04/2018 12:58

We had people viewing our house take photographs of our pets. I was not pleased and indicated to the EA that we might terminate their contract if this continued. Came up as the one EA said how much potential buyers especially their DC had enjoyed seeing the animals. Fuck off you are buying the house not my pets.

Dumbledoresgirl · 08/04/2018 12:58

My thought is 'good for your husband'. If it was a fitted wardrobe the guy would have a point about gauging space but still should have asked if it was ok to open the door first seeing as how the vendors were right there with him, but he has no right to open the door of a piece of furniture that will not be staying. Would it be ok for him to open desk drawers or move the sofa? Certainly not!

flowerslemonade · 08/04/2018 12:59

Ha ha Kitty! I've done similar but it was when I was staying at a friends house while he was away in China, in a massive rush and left pants on the floor. The builders came in to use the toilet (which I didn't like anyway) while I was gone and they must have seen the pants :(. I felt horrible for days afterwards. My fault though. Usually v v tidy and minimalist.

CuntPuffin · 08/04/2018 12:59

Your husband sounds fab!

No he doesn't. He sounds like a bullying arsehole. He didn't need to be so rude to the viewer. IKEA wardrobes do look like they are built in. He could've politely said 'sorry, not part of the sale' and closed the doors again.
And as for telling the OP she has sacrificed her dignity and has no self respect. Nasty.

WhaleTasting · 08/04/2018 13:01

I think the man probably got confused if he did it in front of you and is probably embarrassed now. But on the whole, I think if your husband genuinely thought the guy was being a creep, I don't actually think he was in the wrong, especially as he isn't normally an arse. He shouldn't have been rude to you after though, but then I don't know how you spoke to him about it first!

WhaleTasting · 08/04/2018 13:03

(I would look in a fitted wardrobe, though if the people were in residence I'd check first)

pigsDOfly · 08/04/2018 13:03

Unless the man put his hand on the clothes or started rummaging through your underwear drawer, that was a massive over reaction by you DH to one door being opened. Had he just said 'that isn't included in the sale and pushed the door shut', it might have all gone a lot more positively.

When I was selling my last house - the EA did all the viewings - I came back home after one particular viewing and could clearly see that part of the fitted carpet had been lifted.

It was the living room carpet but it continued into the cupboard under the stairs. They'd lifted the carpet in the cupboard and continued pulling it up till they got into the living room, if that makes sense.

I rang the EA and asked why she allowed this to had happen and told her I wasn't happy about it. From the tone of her voice and her reply she seemed to think I was being a bit precious, apparently they wanted to know if there were floorboards underneath, as they wanted exposed floorboards.

They just needed to ask, not start lifting my bloody living room carpet.

Opening a wardrobe door? Really not the worst thing a buyer could do.

flowery · 08/04/2018 13:10

”It was one of those giant freestanding IKEA wardrobes”

We had these in our last house, and therefore no chests of drawers or anything. No way on earth were those wardrobes coming with us so they were included in the sale- they may not technically be actually fitted but they’re not like a normal freestanding wardrobe.

Perfectly reasonable of him to look in if the wardrobes looked anything like the ones we had.

OliviaStabler · 08/04/2018 13:15

I'd have had a go too. Who the heck opens a wardrobe when looking around a property!

WorraLiberty · 08/04/2018 13:17

Cue DH asking him 'what the hell did he think he was doing?' and 'what weirdo snoops through someone's wardrobe?' The man said he was gauging how much space there was but DH snapped back that 'the wardrobe doesnt come with the house'.

How does that sound like a 'fab husband'? Confused

There's nothing 'fab' about apparently being unable to calmly and firmly point out that the wardrobe isn't part of the house sale.

WhaleTasting · 08/04/2018 13:18

I rang the EA and asked why she allowed this to had happen and told her I wasn't happy about it. From the tone of her voice and her reply she seemed to think I was being a bit precious, apparently they wanted to know if there were floorboards underneath, as they wanted exposed floorboards.

Shock

No! Did you drop them? I'd be furious and make them pay to have someone out and get it fixed again. That's crazy.

dogfish1 · 08/04/2018 13:19

Am a bloke and agree with implantsandaDyson . Your DH sounds like an aggressive git with a low flash point. The buyer was probably just nosey and a polite request not to look would have been covered it while keeping the sale alive. The comment about your self respect is just absurd.

ViceAdmiralAmilynHoldo · 08/04/2018 13:26

You husband sounds rude and aggressive.
Keep him away from any other buyers in the future if he can't control himself.