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AIBU?

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Original poster

DH shouted at potential home buyer

179 replies

Noseyhouseviewers · 08/04/2018 12:05

A man came to view our house today and whilst showing him the master bedroom, he opened up my wardrobe and had a peep in.

I felt a bit uncomfortable but I'm desperate to sell so was gonna let it slide. Cue DH asking him 'what the hell did he think he was doing?' and 'what weirdo snoops through someone's wardrobe?' The man said he was gauging how much space there was but DH snapped back that 'the wardrobe doesnt come with the house'.

The man left abruptly.

We had an argument after, I thought DH could have politely asked him to not look in the wardrobe but DH said the atmosphere would turn sour no matter what was said to challenge the guy, hence he didn't hold back.

He also said I was willing to sacrifice my dignity to sell the house and should have more self respect which I found hurtful.

Who was BU, and WWYD in that situation?

OP posts:
seventh · 08/04/2018 16:05

He also said I was willing to sacrifice my dignity to sell the house and should have more self respect

I think he needs to realise that not everyone is like him (imo rude, but I appreciate that not everyone thinks this) and he needs to stop expecting you to act the same way he does.

If I was desperate to sell, I'd open the frigging wardrobe for the potential buyer to snoop in - 😂 ConfusedHmmWink

TatianaLarina · 08/04/2018 16:14

I have a short fuse myself

Do people really not buy the house of their dreams because the current owner was rude to them?

Of course. You don’t want a nightmare seller. Do gauche people really fuck up house sales because they can’t control themselves?

Mrsmadevans · 08/04/2018 16:17

Sorry OP l think your DH was dead right . What freak looks in ppls wardrobes , l wonder if he was just there to snoop.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 08/04/2018 16:19

I wouldn’t have been happy and would have told him so. We’ve got fitted wardrobes so I probably would say yes if someone asked to look. Anyone trying to look in the drawers would be told to fuck off.

TatianaLarina · 08/04/2018 16:21

What freak can’t cope with someone looking in their wardrobe without coming over all fishwife? Particuarly with a house to sell.

You just smile politely and laugh about it when he’s gone.

ApocalypseNowt · 08/04/2018 16:22

I think it's safest to assume people might want to check your drawers and wardrobes so probably best just to hide your drugs, guns and sex toys really well.

Spangles1963 · 08/04/2018 16:23

Agree with your DH.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 08/04/2018 16:23

It’s one thing if someone asks but it’s bloody rude to just do it. And why on earth would anyone want to look in drawers?

BarbarianMum · 08/04/2018 16:24

He probably thought the wardrobe was fitted - those big IKEA ones can look that way.

Your DH sounds like a tosser.

Maybe just hide the gimp suit or whatever it is you don't want people to see in a suiter next time?

WhaleTasting · 08/04/2018 16:26

Yep, I want to see if it's hiding something. Did you miss the post from the member who did just this, to see the wardrobe was there to hide cracks in the wall and damp. I check everything before making such a huge financial commitment.

Hmm

You go through people's personal belongings in the off chance the furniture might not have a back? Confused

LIke a previous poster I wouldn't sell to a weirdo, not a strange comment I just don't want to go through the effort of dealing with untrustworthy weirdos.

WhaleTasting · 08/04/2018 16:27

You just smile politely and laugh about it when he’s gone

Yes, just smile politely while people act inapropriately towards you or your belongings. Brilliant message that.

PartyRingss · 08/04/2018 16:29

Those IKEA wardrobes you describe, if anything like the ones we had when I lived with ex dh are a complete bastard to put together so I wouldn't fancy taking one of those apart again!

sinceyouask · 08/04/2018 16:31

Bit off of the (no longer) prospective buyer, but extremely rude of your dh who overreacted massively. He sounds like a total drama queen tbh.

betekoc · 08/04/2018 16:32

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TatianaLarina · 08/04/2018 16:42

Yes, just smile politely while people act inapropriately towards you or your belongings. Brilliant message that

Your message would simply communicate insecurity, defensiveness and social incompetence - is that your intention?

BurningTheToast · 08/04/2018 16:43

We had those Ikea wardrobes in our last house and they were standing across a whole wall and looked like fitted ones. If I saw them, my initial thought might be that they were fitted and so I might well look to check the depth as you do get shallow versions where clothes don't hang properly.

But as others have said, there are umpteen reasons why he might have looked and none of them deserve being shouted at by your husband. I'd either ask the estate agent to do future viewings or teach your husband to have better manners. Even with the people he thinks are weirdos.

It sounds to me as though that will be a useful life lesson generally for him, not just when you're selling your house.

bonnyshide · 08/04/2018 16:45

Unless your DH caught him rifling through your knickers drawer then he was BU.

Often people look in cupboards etc. It's all part of viewing the house, how was he supposed to know the wardrobe wasn't included in the sale.

nonevernotever · 08/04/2018 16:45

Those IKEA wardrobes you describe, if anything like the ones we had when I lived with ex dh are a complete bastard to put together so I wouldn't fancy taking one of those apart again!

Yup. We discovered that when we sold :-) Bastard thing wouldn't fit through the door put together, but couldn't be taken apart without doing irreparable damage. We left (most of) them for the new people

CoffeeOrSleep · 08/04/2018 16:45

It's perfectly normal for people to poke round houses when looking to buy.

If you want to protect your privacy, you need to think if you are in the right frame of mind to sell. Put your stuff in storage and sell it as an empty property.

TatianaLarina · 08/04/2018 16:45

I'd either ask the estate agent to do future viewings or teach your husband to have better manners.

Keeping husband away from viewers is a necessity in this case.

expatinscotland · 08/04/2018 16:46

'You go through people's personal belongings in the off chance the furniture might not have a back? confused'

Um, no, I open doors to see how deep they are, if they're fixed to a wall that might cause damage to the wall if removed, to see if it's a false front or cupboard. I don't care about the people's belongings, I'm there to see if the space works for me enough to part with a great deal of money for the property.

I also turn on the taps and showers to see if it all works, flush the toilets, turn on all the lights, check if all the drains work.

I've had structural surveys done and they'll sometimes move furniture away from walls and move items to see the walls (they put them back).

If people are precious about this, then I don't want to buy from them, anyway. They're moving. They put the house on to sell it. I'm not there to pay a social call.

TatianaLarina · 08/04/2018 16:47

Nods.

Bluelady · 08/04/2018 16:49

It may be different in Scotland but in England surveyors aren't allowed to move furniture.

SomeKnobend · 08/04/2018 16:55

Have your estate agent do ALL future viewings.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 08/04/2018 16:57

But surely any normal person would ask before they start peering in cupboards and drawers. And if he didn’t know whether the wardrobe was included in the sale he could have asked, and therefore not needed to look.

Maybe I’m bitter as the miserable cow we bought from wouldn’t even let us go back to measure for curtains!