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Original poster

DH shouted at potential home buyer

179 replies

Noseyhouseviewers · 08/04/2018 12:05

A man came to view our house today and whilst showing him the master bedroom, he opened up my wardrobe and had a peep in.

I felt a bit uncomfortable but I'm desperate to sell so was gonna let it slide. Cue DH asking him 'what the hell did he think he was doing?' and 'what weirdo snoops through someone's wardrobe?' The man said he was gauging how much space there was but DH snapped back that 'the wardrobe doesnt come with the house'.

The man left abruptly.

We had an argument after, I thought DH could have politely asked him to not look in the wardrobe but DH said the atmosphere would turn sour no matter what was said to challenge the guy, hence he didn't hold back.

He also said I was willing to sacrifice my dignity to sell the house and should have more self respect which I found hurtful.

Who was BU, and WWYD in that situation?

OP posts:
snowagain · 08/04/2018 14:40

Your DH sounds like a total twit. I would have been furious if my DH had behaved in such an aggressive and childish manner.

FFS, when people come to view your house, they WILL nose around, at everything! Even if him peering into your wardrobe, your DH should have just sucked it up!

What childish behaviour. What on earth was IN there that he doesn't want anyone to see....... Wink

TatianaLarina · 08/04/2018 14:44

I think the whole thing’s hilarious. Not so funny for you though OP. I guess he’d better be out next time.

Cuisant · 08/04/2018 14:46

How is a viewer supposed to know if a drawer contains knickers?!

As a viewer, you're looking at a thousand details. Trying to work out which drawer is the knicker drawer so you can target it and bitch/perve over their choice of underwear is not part of it!

JacquesHammer · 08/04/2018 14:49

If it was your knicker drawer would you have been so polite?

I wouldn’t care. They’re pants shoved in a drawer.

And if I did? “Those will be going with us thanks” or “would you mind asking before you open drawers” etc.

qazxc · 08/04/2018 14:49

I think your DH over reacted.
Yes it is a bit weird for someone to peep into a wardrobe that clearly won't come with the house, but I'm assuming from your description it was just a peep, not him rummaging through.
If your Dh felt it wasn't acceptable, he could have mentioned nicely. (please don't open wardrobes/drawers that don't come with the house., they are private).
I would also be hurt at his comments to you.
So I totally agree with you in this instance.

goose1964 · 08/04/2018 14:50

Fit a notice inside the wardrobe saying that it doesn't come with the house so why are they looking in there? Ditto with drawers.

AlessandroVasectomi · 08/04/2018 14:50

House viewings do cause you to meet some oddballs. All human nature is there.

We moved from Salisbury in 1983. There had been a fair bit of interest in the house and we were expecting an offer or two very shortly when one day a lady rang the house from Chichester. She said that she had been interested in the house when it was for sale on a previous occasion but had been unable to buy it and was delighted to have another chance. She said that she was setting out that afternoon to come and view it and in view of her obvious enthusiasm my wife agreed. She duly arrived after a somewhat tortuous journey by public transport, had a good old nose around and left. We never heard from her again. My wife informed the estate agent about the visit and when she told them the lady’s name they were not surprised to hear of her visit. It was apparently something of a pastime of hers to look at houses for sale with no intention whatsoever of buying. Probably why she didn’t make an appointment through the agent. She would love Escape to the Country where you get to see inside many peoples’ houses with absolutely no obligation!

When we were selling our next house after the Salisbury house, we had a viewing by a well-dressed middle aged couple from north London (about an hour’s drive away) one Saturday afternoon. It was clear that it was some sort of pastime for them too as she said nothing while he told us he was a surveyor and how good he was at his job and then proceeded to give us a run down on how the house had been built. He pointed out all the technical details of the construction and when it became clear he had no intention of buying, we listened politely to the rest of his commentary and bade them goodbye. We never heard again from them either.

MaisyPops · 08/04/2018 14:52

Total overreaction from your DH.

If the wardrobes looked like they could be fitted then I entirely get why the viewer looked. I always look at cupboards/wardrobes etc but do ask first.

All your DH needed to have said is 'the wardrobes don't come with the house' and moved on.

Oblomov18 · 08/04/2018 14:55

Totally unreasonable. We have 4 huge built in cupboards in our house and I would expect someone to look, to realise what an advantage they are.

I would look in cupboards and drawers because storage is very important to me.

Oblomov18 · 08/04/2018 14:56

Fitted - yes
Freestanding - no.

Elendon · 08/04/2018 15:05

I had fitted wardrobes and no one looked in on them when I was selling. I sold as a single parent though.

I will be selling next as a single person. Kudos!

Tistheseason17 · 08/04/2018 15:15

Another daft question here....

How are people seeing "hidden doors", "cracks in the wall" and "flooring" by opening a freestanding wardrobe?

My wardrobes have a back and a base so opening them only gets to see my clothes and personal items - not the walls??

If it was a built in wardrobe , then def open away and knock yourself out. But, freestanding? still not sure why it's ok to nose in someone's wardrobe or drawers that aren't part of the house sale! :)

expatinscotland · 08/04/2018 15:18

'How are people seeing "hidden doors", "cracks in the wall" and "flooring" by opening a freestanding wardrobe?'

Um, because a poster opened the freestanding wardrobe to see it had no back in it and the wall behind it was damaged Hmm.

Tistheseason17 · 08/04/2018 15:23

Um, because a poster opened the freestanding wardrobe to see it had no back in it and the wall behind it was damaged hmm

Ah, my bad, missed that. Must remember that posters can be so lovely on here when you miss something...

EthelHornsby · 08/04/2018 15:26

Personally I wouldn’t care where they looked, I’d be more interested in selling the house - you don’t know which weirdo is the one who’s going to offer you the asking price

honeyroar · 08/04/2018 15:30

From what people have commented, this IKEA wardrobe is mistakeable for a fitted one and often included in people's sales, so I guess it's an easy mistake. I would be suspicious of a house if I wasn't allowed to look in a fitted wardrobe, I'd think they were hiding a broken door or something iffy. If I did look in someone's wardrobe I would be working out whether my things would fit in, not looking at their clothes.

If someone tried to open a wardrobe or drawer not included I'd say "that's not included, you don't need to open it". No need to swear or call them a wierdo. For your husband to carry on ranting and criticise you makes him the weirder man IMO, I mean did he have a dead body in there or another woman! No need for that level of defensiveness/aggression.

CuntPuffin · 08/04/2018 15:33

I'll second what someone else said upthread about mock doors/cupboards. Made the mistake of not opening kitchen cupboards in a place we were looking to rent. Moved in, only to find that one kitchen cupboard was filled with a water softener, another the boiler, another was a mock front so didn't open. There were only a couple of useful cupboards in total. Ok, so that was a short term rental, but still meant I had nowhere for half our pots and pans.

The hidden door? If I recall correctly, the wardrobe took up the whole room width. I wanted to see how deep it was, and was surprised to find the door at the back. I had absolutely no interest in the wardrobe contents.

DeathStare · 08/04/2018 15:40

I think if it was a small freestanding wardrobe with plenty of space around it then the potential buyer was being completely unreasonable and nosey. However if it looked like a fitted wardrobe I think it was completely understandable for him to have a look. And if the wardrobe took up a corner, a whole wall or a recess (like down the side if a chimney breast) then I can understand him wanting to see how deep the wardrobe is. I've seen cupboards in recesses before that I assumed were a full-depth wardrobe only to find out they were 6" deep and only contained shelves. If you're buying a house you'd want to know whether a full depth wardrobe could fit in the space. It would have been polite if he'd asked though.

Your DH completely over-reacted. Shouting at someone and calling them names is not appropriate and the way he spoke to you about it was also not appropriate (and I think is more rude than the viewer looking in the wardrobe). If he wasn't comfortable with the viewer looking in the wardrobe he could have said so calmly and politely.

Failingat40 · 08/04/2018 15:41

I think it sounds as if your dh picked up a time wasting/creep vibe from this viewer and didn't see the point in being polite.
Has your house been on the market a while? It sounds like your dh is stressed, unless there's a back story to his temper?

We have the Ikea Pax wardrobes and they do look fitted to be fair. When we were selling previous houses we often would open fitted wardrobes and cupboards for the viewers to gauge the space, however the people we felt were just coming to be nosy waste our time weren't shown.

I would be miffed if a viewer helped themselves to opening wardrobes and those who are saying viewers even look in bedside drawers ...well that's just rude! I'd challenge someone for that too and would be very concerned about security.

Going forward, put a sign on the wardrobe for future viewings. You shouldn't have to but some people are clearly bonkers with no boundaries.

Coyoacan · 08/04/2018 15:44

I'm with your dh on this one. Who looks in someone else's wardrobe when viewing a house?

And I'm sure he could have been more diplomatic, but as I have a short fuse myself, I cannot criticise. Do people really not buy the house of their dreams because the current owner was rude to them?

Bluelady · 08/04/2018 15:48

There's no way I'd consider buying a house from someone who shouted at me at a viewing. God knows what their behaviour would be like further down the line if something didn't suit them during the transaction. I wouldn't let him anywhere near prospective buyers.

Our house is on the market and we just go out and let the agent handle the viewings. They can do what the hell they like as long as they don't rob us blind.

reddressblueshoes · 08/04/2018 15:49

We didn't look inside kitchen cupboards when viewing our last rental as our landlords were still living there and I worried it might seem rude: it turned out half of them were 'false' cupboards - two hid the boiler, one just didn't open and was put in not to spoil the line, one was broken. It meant we had more or less half the kitchen storage we anticipated. I will never make that mistake again.

We have the world's shallowest alcoves in our bedroom and are hoping to put in adapted IKEA Pax wardrobes. Anyone who didn't open them and assumed they were normal wardrobe-size would be in for a nasty shock on buying, our current wardrobe juts out half its size again and you could never fit anything that wasn't carefully selected in there. There's also nowhere else in the room to fit things in, but you wouldn't necessarily assume that just by looking.

The buyer was normal, your husband was an absolute arse. If he objected, he could have politely said: 'Oh I'd rather you didn't open things, none of that is coming with the house.' If the buyer said 'Oh I wanted to know how deep it is' that is the point at which he could say 'hang on a minute' get a tape measure and measure it for him, which nobody could object to.

That is a normal way to act if you want to sell a house. Being that aggressive to someone viewing would make me assume he either has general anger issues, or is having second thoughts about moving.

YoohooDorothy · 08/04/2018 15:53

I don't think your husband needed to say it so aggressively. Yes, the man should have asked if he could look at the wardrobe, assuming he had a genuine reason but there was no need to speak to him like that.

Easilyflattered · 08/04/2018 15:57

This is why I let agents do all viewings, and preferred having viewings with agents myself.

It's also why I had a trolley case of all my most personal items in my car boot for about 4 months.

expatinscotland · 08/04/2018 15:58

'And I'm sure he could have been more diplomatic, but as I have a short fuse myself, I cannot criticise. Do people really not buy the house of their dreams because the current owner was rude to them?'

Yep, because if they're like that at the first viewing they'll likely be the seller from hell. Would find another house.