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AIBU?

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Original poster

DH shouted at potential home buyer

179 replies

Noseyhouseviewers · 08/04/2018 12:05

A man came to view our house today and whilst showing him the master bedroom, he opened up my wardrobe and had a peep in.

I felt a bit uncomfortable but I'm desperate to sell so was gonna let it slide. Cue DH asking him 'what the hell did he think he was doing?' and 'what weirdo snoops through someone's wardrobe?' The man said he was gauging how much space there was but DH snapped back that 'the wardrobe doesnt come with the house'.

The man left abruptly.

We had an argument after, I thought DH could have politely asked him to not look in the wardrobe but DH said the atmosphere would turn sour no matter what was said to challenge the guy, hence he didn't hold back.

He also said I was willing to sacrifice my dignity to sell the house and should have more self respect which I found hurtful.

Who was BU, and WWYD in that situation?

OP posts:
QuackPorridgeBacon · 08/04/2018 14:08

The wardrobe does won’t come with the house and I’d have probably wanted to say the same. I don’t if I would but if annoyed I might have.

PriaMaicel · 08/04/2018 14:09

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Tistheseason17 · 08/04/2018 14:10

If he was going to buy, he'll still buy. It's not like your husband comes with the house when they buy.

I actually think it is odd to nose into someone else's personal belongings in a wardrobe. Fitted cupboards? Maybe.

Your OH prob over reacted but I'd be peed off if someone opened by wardrobe and saw everything I'd hidden in there to make the house look tidy! ;) It would prob have fallen on to them!

Glug44 · 08/04/2018 14:12

You ask before opening cupboards etc at a viewing.

UnaMagdalena · 08/04/2018 14:14

I'd want to have a look to see what the storage was like, mostly rail space, room for a lower rail? were the drawers still sliding in and out easily? Perfectly reasonable to look inside.

Coconutspongexo · 08/04/2018 14:15

How does her husband sound fab?

I understand him being annoyed but raising his voice? Embarrassing

JacquesHammer · 08/04/2018 14:15

I wouldn't sell my house to any weirdo!

What a bizarre comment - why not?

londonrach · 08/04/2018 14:15

Fitted wardrobes you open to judge size. Normal wardrobe no unless its such a way theres too much furniture on one wall you cant see the wall. However dh shouldnt have said anything. Think ea should do viewings but been warned...when we rented ea opened up my removeable chest if drawers and was found with his hands in the pants. (M&s so not exciting). My mum thought he was looking for money..he be lucky! As a direct result we never allowed another viewing whilst we rented.

Celebelly · 08/04/2018 14:19

I'm surprised at people who wouldn't look inside fitted wardrobes. If I'm spending £250,000 on a house, I want to actually properly see all the space!

I would ask first, though, although we were invited to by the seller for our current house (and she then left us alone to look in all the rooms).

Perhaps he thought they were just fitted wardrobes and wanted to get an idea of how much space was inside? He probably should have asked but maybe he thought that as you were both there, it wasn't like he was rootling around behind your back.

KC225 · 08/04/2018 14:20

Weird looking in a free standing wardrobe but it was probably just a reaction as opposed to being pervy.

I wouldn't have before but a friend told me of an beaten up old wardrobe in a room on a second viewing. She opened it when the woman took a call, there was no back to the wardrobe and the wall had cracks, flaking plaster and mould. It woud have probably come out in the survey but she said they were on such a tight budget, they had enough for one survey and didnt want the heartbreak of starting from scratch if it was really bad. The fact she had tried to hide it made her mistrustful.

QuackPorridgeBacon · 08/04/2018 14:21

Doesn’t* come with the...

expatinscotland · 08/04/2018 14:21

You'd really hand over hundreds of thousands of pounds for something you hadn't inspected within an inch of its life? Wow.

Flatbellyfella · 08/04/2018 14:25

I would want to try every fixture in the house, to check that they work, doors that don't open & close smoothly are a big indicator of the rest of the house, windows, locks, electrics, loose floorboards in old houses, I would want to look in the attic too, there are some horrendous properties on the market bodged by DIY homeowners. I would think an aggressive seller had something to hide, & was trying to intimidate me.
It sounds like your husband does not want to sell the house, & will go to any lengths to drive away potential buyers.

Munchyseeds · 08/04/2018 14:25

I wouldn't be surprised if anyone thought our big Ikea wardrobes were built in. Wouldn't bother me if they opened the doors, I would probably do these same to check they were well put together

Tistheseason17 · 08/04/2018 14:27

You'd really hand over hundreds of thousands of pounds for something you hadn't inspected within an inch of its life? Wow

But it's a freestanding wardrobe - the £Ks your paying won't be including the wardrobe.

Would you be ok if they looked in your underwear drawer, too?

(not being arsy - just genuinely interested - we all have different thresholds, don't we! )

Mightymucks · 08/04/2018 14:28

I can’t believe people think this is okay. Of course your DH was right to tell him not to do it.

I think this thread has fallen foul of the sort of Mumsnetter who thinks any man who doesn’t roll over and let you tickle his belly at every opportunity is just an abuser of some shape or form

Celebelly · 08/04/2018 14:29

*But it's a freestanding wardrobe - the £Ks your paying won't be including the wardrobe.

Would you be ok if they looked in your underwear drawer, too?

(not being arsy - just genuinely interested - we all have different thresholds, don't we! )*

I think the original comment was more in response to some people on this thread who said they'd never look in fitted wardrobes or open cupboards!

That seems nuts to me!

lalalalyra · 08/04/2018 14:30

He may have been looking to see if they were fixed to the wall in case there would be damage when they were removed.

Armi · 08/04/2018 14:30

What did your DH think was actually going to happen, with him standing right there? That the man was going to start putting your knickers on his head? Do you think the man arranged a house viewing just so he could lasciviously finger your collection of polyester dresses and rub himself against your best jacket?

I imagine the chap thought it was a fitted wardrobe. He should have asked, but then your DH should have behaved like a normal human being and just told him it wasn’t fitted and moved the guy on (‘You might like to look at the view from the window...’). I am always amazed by the people on here who think the only response to any situation they don’t like is a massive explosion of temper and aggression.

expatinscotland · 08/04/2018 14:31

'But it's a freestanding wardrobe - the £Ks your paying won't be including the wardrobe.'

Yep, I want to see if it's hiding something. Did you miss the post from the member who did just this, to see the wardrobe was there to hide cracks in the wall and damp.

I check everything before making such a huge financial commitment.

I've never been on a viewing with the homeowner there, though, it's usually the EA who does them. But like Flat, I'd think an aggressive seller had something to hide.

CupofFrothyCoffee · 08/04/2018 14:32

Your DH was totally unreasonable, It's only clothes(usually).

Celebelly · 08/04/2018 14:33

Also my OH doesn't shout at people or call them weirdos. I think that's odd behaviour, personally. He or I would just have said 'Oh that's not coming with the house' and not even because we thought the guy was being rude, but so he didn't think that it was a fixture. I assume people will look in cupboards and open fitted wardrobes when I sell a house (and it sounds in this case like he might have thought it was a fixture).

I'd think it bizarre it someone didn't look in the cupboards and I'd assume they weren't interested in the house, as who spends hundreds of thousands of pounds on something they haven't properly looked at?!

Cambionome · 08/04/2018 14:35

What a strange post, *Mightymucks. Confused

Who are these mumsnetters? Women who don't want their dh to be unnecessarily aggressive to a complete stranger and jeopardise a much-needed house sale? Who don't want to be sneered at for not having "self-respect" because they are able to keep their temper under control?

AlphaApple · 08/04/2018 14:36

#teamDH

If it was your knicker drawer would you have been so polite? The guy obviously has no sense of social niceties.

expatinscotland · 08/04/2018 14:40

'The guy obviously has no sense of social niceties.'

He's not there for a visit, he's there to see if he wants to make what will probably be the biggest financial commitment of his life on a property.

I'm with Kurri, your H doesn't want to see the house, OP.