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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DH shouted at potential home buyer

179 replies

Noseyhouseviewers · 08/04/2018 12:05

A man came to view our house today and whilst showing him the master bedroom, he opened up my wardrobe and had a peep in.

I felt a bit uncomfortable but I'm desperate to sell so was gonna let it slide. Cue DH asking him 'what the hell did he think he was doing?' and 'what weirdo snoops through someone's wardrobe?' The man said he was gauging how much space there was but DH snapped back that 'the wardrobe doesnt come with the house'.

The man left abruptly.

We had an argument after, I thought DH could have politely asked him to not look in the wardrobe but DH said the atmosphere would turn sour no matter what was said to challenge the guy, hence he didn't hold back.

He also said I was willing to sacrifice my dignity to sell the house and should have more self respect which I found hurtful.

Who was BU, and WWYD in that situation?

OP posts:
frasier · 08/04/2018 12:22

Noseyhouseviewers Does it look like it might be fitted?

SukiTheDog · 08/04/2018 12:23

Oh sorry....thought it was fitted wardrobe. In that case “No”! Cheeky git

WillowWept · 08/04/2018 12:24

Some of those large freestanding ikea wardrobes do look like they're built in. I think I'd expect wardrobes like that to be opened. And either way I'd expect my DH not to be aggressive

TheHumanMothboy · 08/04/2018 12:25

Fridges? Sitting on sofas? [shocked] What is wrong with people?
Ok, maybe you'd open a built-in fridge, I suppose, to guage size, but really!

Idontdowindows · 08/04/2018 12:27

I'm with your husband, and for the next viewers I would make it clear at the door that they are not to open freestanding items as they are coming with you. You can even apologetically explain you've had problems with people going through your things during a viewing.

Also invite them to open any fitted wardrobes/kitchen cupboards etc.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 08/04/2018 12:28

Your DH had every bloody right to shout at hIm. I can't believe he had the audacity to be opening and closing wardrobes without even asking. There are times you have to speak your mind
However that said. I do believe he's kissed goodbye to a sale at this time

JaniceBattersby · 08/04/2018 12:28

Those IKEA wardrobes can look a bit like they’re fitted so maybe he thought it was. Either way, a ridiculous overreaction.

WidoWanky · 08/04/2018 12:29

Your husband sounds fab!

JacquesHammer · 08/04/2018 12:30

Completely disproportionate reaction by your husband.

expatinscotland · 08/04/2018 12:30

Get your estate agent to handle viewings from now on. Plenty of weirdos do this when viewing a house, but then, I've had plenty of letting agents do this when doing inspections on a privately rented property.

HollowTalk · 08/04/2018 12:32

I don't think your husband over-reacted at all. The guy should have said, "Does this come with the house?" and if so, ask to look inside. He sounds like a creep, looking in personal cupboards like that.

CuntPuffin · 08/04/2018 12:33

In one house we viewed, I opened a wardrobe and found a hidden door into the eaves. Because of the layout of the house, it was an area that had the potential to turn into an extension. It wasn't listed on the particulars, the EA didn't know it was there, owner hadn't mentioned it. That discovery made the house substantially more interesting and increased its value.

Apparently, the only other person to 'find' it was an architect, who was also bemused about the layout and where the hidden space was.

I look in wardrobes.

PerfectPenquins · 08/04/2018 12:36

There was no need to shout at all your husband made a twat of himself there. Why not just firmly say to close the wardrobe? I'd be embarrassed, not proud he sounds too hot-headed.

LotsOfSlats · 08/04/2018 12:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bumblenbean · 08/04/2018 12:38

frasier

That’s brilliant! What a bizarre woman!

elisenbrunnen · 08/04/2018 12:38

I think DH sounds fab too. And viewer sounds creepy.

That said, lots of people will open cupboards, becasue they are nosy. Maybe they all need to be told.

onalongsabbatical · 08/04/2018 12:38

He thought he might find Narnia, perhaps? I'm with your dh - anyone doing this is snooping and needs to be told. The idea that because you're selling your house you need to put up with people snooping is ludicrous.

AndromedaPerseus · 08/04/2018 12:40

I always think it’s a mistake for vendors to do viewings much better for it to be handled by EA and I say that as both a vendor and a buyer

willsa · 08/04/2018 12:41

I would be embarrassed if my husband couldn't keep himself in check.
Why so precious? What DO you keep in your wardrobes?

I wouldn't expect somebody to look in to my wardrobe, but if they would ( and get a faceful of my clothes ) I would just shrug it off as "one of those things".

LeeroyJenkins · 08/04/2018 12:41

I specifically told out EA to not let people look in the wardrobes. It was more for their own safety as an avalanche of precariously balanced shit would have fallen out and possibly done then an injury! Nobody died so as far as I know, nobody opened the wardrobes Grin

Our estate agent was supposed to do all viewings, I ended up doing half of them myself. YHWNBU.

nursy1 · 08/04/2018 12:42

I look in fitted wardrobes and kitchen cupboards. I also measure things but probably only on a second viewing. If I was being shown round by the owners I would always ask “ do you mind” however. I think it’s important to look in kitchen cupboards - are the base cupboards old and damp and the owner just put new fronts on to spruce it up for sale? Wardrobes are sometimes only half depth if they are built either side of chimney breast and don’t have hanging space.
I prefer to look round a house with an agent. It’s more complicated if you are looking with owner who chats nervously so you can’t think. They run round pointing out their fab features which you then have to admire although privately you are thinking “ I could rip that out”

Quartz2208 · 08/04/2018 12:42

how does telling the OP to have more self respect equal fab?

IrianOfW · 08/04/2018 12:45

Get the agent to do the viewings. They are better at it and it avoids these sort of situations. You cant be too precious about this if you want to see the house.

Hygge · 08/04/2018 12:45

We have one of those giant Ikea wardrobes and they look like fitted ones.

It was here when we bought the house and if we move it will be left here. It's too big to dismantle and move.

Maybe he assumed yours would be staying because it's so big and awkward to move.

Is it on the property listing? If it is, and you're not leaving it, you'll need to have it taken off because people will assume it's being left or is fitted.

The man peeped in, and yes he should have asked first, both if the wardrobe was staying and then, if the answer was yes, if he could look inside.

But you say he only peeped in and I don't get how that was an affront to your dignity. He didn't search through your clothes or anything.

And also, if your furniture is laid out in the only possible way, even if the wardrobe isn't staying he might need to open the door to judge the space.

For example he might have been thinking "Our bed will have to go where their bed is, and that means our wardrobe will have to be where theirs is, but if it's the case will the wardrobe door open fully or will it hit the bed?"

That kind of thing.

I know it sounds odd but the way the people we bought our house from had their living room furniture laid out was weird. They had blocked off a door and still had no room, there's only one place in the entire room that the sofa can go, and one of my first questions was "Where do you put your Christmas tree when it's up?"

People think about odd things and he might not really have been thinking of looking in your wardrobe exactly, just trying to imagine his wardrobe in the same space.

JacquesHammer · 08/04/2018 12:46

I'm with your dh - anyone doing this is snooping and needs to be told. The idea that because you're selling your house you need to put up with people snooping is ludicrous

Is it only possible to make a point by being rude and “snapping”.

I would very much make the point in a polite way that didn’t jeopardise a sale if nothing else!