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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Why does your teen hate you today?

194 replies

AjasLipstick · 08/04/2018 09:41

Mine's 13...apparently I'm terrible parent because I offered her the meal she really loved up until today...it was a steak sandwich on crusty bread with a side salad.

Last week this was "amazing" and "my favourite"

Tonight I told her I was making it again and she said OH NO I HATE THAT!!!!

Hmm

I said...well you could have some stir fried noodles?

No. She wanted a certain dish from our local Chinese takeaway.

I said no.

DH said yes...and offered her the cash to go and buy it.

That's evil too though. We should apparently go for her in the car as it's AGES AWAY! TOO FAR!

It's a 5 minute walk.

She's now sitting in her room, hating us and refusing anything.

I'm ignoring.

OP posts:
woodlanddreamer · 08/04/2018 20:44

My 16 year old DS hates me for too many reasons to list. The most recent was probably for telling him not to slam the door as he flounced out. I don't give any fuvks either.

Butterflybelly · 08/04/2018 20:49

Mine hated me tonight because “I looked at him with too much love” 😂

mikeyssister · 08/04/2018 20:50

Because I woke her up and told her she has 20 mins to get dressed, have breakfast and clean her teeth. Apparently she takes 10 mins to eat her breakfast and I'm being really unfair - despite the fact DS was only given 15 mins.

And then I was in trouble because I reminded her she had to go to scout training (as she had asked me to).

And then I was in trouble because I sympathised with her over something that had happened in scouts and she didn't know why I was sympathising because I didn't properly know all the facts and I didn't properly understand.

And then I was in trouble because I asked her to help her dad dismantle a shed.

But now she loves her dad because he let her use a hammer to dismantle the shed, and I'm still in trouble because I told her to have a shower because she'd been at scouts, working on the shed and has school tomorrow.

Now I'm going to tell her to get her bag ready for school tomorrow and then go to bed. WISH ME LUCK!

Vintagebeads · 08/04/2018 20:54

Schools back here tomorrow. I told him to come off the Xbox at 8:30 apparently this is unreasonable all his friends don't have to come off that early. ....blah blah blah.
Yesterday it was the unreasonable requests of putting on the dishwasher...one button ....I really am a bitch Grin

PeterIanStaker · 08/04/2018 21:00

I bought Mr Kipling jam tarts instead of the fruit pies I should have guessed he'd want, even though I haven't bought either in over a year. He had to eat two jam tarts to fully demonstrate his disgust at my terrible choice.

NameWithChange · 08/04/2018 21:06

Oh it really helps to see how much you are also all hated at the moment Smile

mikeyssister · 08/04/2018 21:09

Siiiiiiiiigh. apparently I'm unreasonable for telling her to wash her hair (she can't remember when she last washed it) because she wants to leave it in a plait for tomorrow. DD1 said she'll replait it once it's washed so she's loved but I'm not.

And apparently it's unreasonable to tell her to use our shower because their's isn't draining properly and I've drain cleaner down the pipes.

Changebagsandgladrags · 08/04/2018 21:13

DS is only 11. He hates me because I told him there would be end of year tests in every subject. But I'm wrong because his science teacher only told him to revise science. I don't know nothing about school. As a result he went to bed in a huff.

mikeyssister · 08/04/2018 21:14

I don't dare remind DD that the first year exams are really important Sad

LynetteScavo · 08/04/2018 21:26

Oh, I told DD she had end of year tests today...her science teacher has sent home a list of exactly what to revise...apparently, DD tells me, she doesn't need to look at it at all because they've already done it in class, and can I please go away and leave her alone.

minifingerz · 08/04/2018 21:40

Because I told him that £99 is too much to pay for a new pair of trainers.

Especially since he spent most of last term in trouble, truanted 3 times, nearly ended up in the internal exclusion unit at school, and has seen his grades dive bomb.

Sillybilly1234 · 08/04/2018 21:51

I didn't switch her bedroom light on quickly enough as I was leaving her room.

I was actually bent over picking up a plastic bag off the floor in the doorway at the time.

I am a terrible human being obviously.

Mindhunter · 08/04/2018 21:56

For being poor and not being able to give her cash for a last min birthday party. She's 13 and made friends with a load of girls with ponys and parents who work in amazing jobs. I'm a single mum working for min wage so deserve to be looked down on by her. Then she hated me more for not letting her go for being so rude.

weegiemum · 08/04/2018 22:02

My 14 and 16 year olds are great right now. Dd1 (18) hates us because we let her come home early from holiday last week, she had a party and we're having her allowance this month because we had to pay the cleaner extra - she didn't even clean up properly.

Apparently we're unreasonable!

YouCantGetHereFromThere · 08/04/2018 23:47

I asked him to remove his (dirty) baseball cup from the coffee table.

Jamiefraserskilt · 09/04/2018 00:48

Eldest teen is sorted. Started night shift so now has an excuse to sleep all day. Youngest teen threw one when I asked him to shower as after five days of refusals the smell of his room was seeping into the house. How damned unreasonable of me.

achangeisasgoodasabreakdown · 09/04/2018 01:06

DD isn't a teen yet, but has taken to some teen like behaviour.

She has started telling me how things will be - I am watching X movie, I am eating y food, I am taking the laptop, I am taking the charger. All very dramatic, and most often when somebody else is watching TV, cooking or using the item in question. My current response is to laugh. This confuses her.

Also there's the I am going to... Most recently, I am going to friends house. We said no, we already have plans with everyone, so dramatic storming with screams about how we're 'ruining her life'.

She does have nice moments. She loves learning to cook, is very tolerant of others, she's hilarious. And she put a lot of thought and effort into my birthday present this year. She gave me everything she'd taken from my room! Including a nail polish she'd watched me look for for hours.

TheMythicalChicken · 09/04/2018 01:08

Thanks so much for this thread. My DS has just been diagnosed with Asperger's and ADD and I wasn't sure how much of his behaviour was due to that and how much was due to being a (nearly) teen.

I am heartened to hear that most of his behaviour is shared with other teenagers from Mumsnet Grin. This gives me hope.

DS is angry with me because I keep saying 'scoot' instead of 'skate'. For background, last month DS was obsessed with scootering. He got a very expensive scooter and spent all his time at scooter parks. Now apparently, scooting isn't 'cool' anymore so now he's got a skateboard.

His worry is that someone might overhear me when I say something like, "are you going scootering, I mean skating" and he'll be mistaken for a scooterer and not deemed cool anymore.

6triesbuttingout · 09/04/2018 01:15

Because she’s a teen it’s in the dna.! You can do nothing right untill they are about 18. Head up Mum it’s not you it’s them! Mum if 4 here. God I’ve been thru it but they’ve all turned out brill in the end! Good luck x

TheMythicalChicken · 09/04/2018 01:16

That's good to hear, 6triesbuttingout.

achangeisasgoodasabreakdown · 09/04/2018 01:20

6tries, any of yours ds? Any advice on how to get the smell of hormones, gym socks and something inexplicable out of ds room? It smells like something has died but has no source!!! It arrived few months ago, around the same time as the spots, and airing the room has no effect.

TheMythicalChicken · 09/04/2018 01:30

achangeisasgoodasabreakdown, I'm far from qualified to give advice, but our DS is not allowed the XBox controller until he has done the following:

  • make bed
  • dirty clothes in hamper
  • cups, etc. in kitchen
  • rubbish in bin
  • bags, school tie, etc. where they belong
  • toys, etc. in drawers.

This means that his room is always relatively tidy, which makes cleaning it much easier. I literally have to just vacuum, wipe the surfaces down and change his bed linen. DS has the tidiest room in the house!

Original poster
AjasLipstick · 09/04/2018 02:53

Chicken Grin My DD tells me off and gets irritated every time I say "Meal"

I hate the word too for some reason but because I get nervous, I say it anyway!

OP posts:
TheMythicalChicken · 09/04/2018 03:23

Oh, and apparently I talk too loud. Everyone in the whole village can hear me, apparently, when I'm just talking in my normal voice.

QueenofLouisiana · 09/04/2018 03:46

Because I bought him new racing trunks (many, many pounds). They needed to be fitted properly and checked. Therefore I am terrible and controlling. Controlling because I insisted he actually spent time putting them on, not running the risk of destroying them.

TBF he then fell asleep in the car for an hour and woke up in a much better mood.

Also because I only gave him 1 hour 10 mins warning that he was going to see his girlfriend. This wasn’t enough time to shower, clean teeth, drown in Lynx and choose between his favourite 3 tshirts.
He’d been moping about not seeing her for a week (because of being busy, no other reason) and had stupidly thought he’d be pleased at the idea. Clearly I know nothing.