AIBU to be worried about this woman

[Cheekylittlenumber]

DH is a SAHP to our two children, one being a toddler. He has lots of mum friends but is particularly close to one who lives nearby.

She's attractive, flirty and a lot of fun. I hang out with her too and enjoy her company.

Last summer it came out that she had an emotional affair with another dad (not a SAHP but someone who worked part time) It seemed to be lots of deep stuff- texting about his relationship, hoe unhappy he was, how beautiful she was etc. Nothing physically happened but it was definitely a EA.

I can't stop thinking about the guys wife. She has two small kids and works full time, and her circumstances are EXACTLY the same as me and DH.

I trust DH 100% but I feel
Uneasy about them spending time alone (well, with toddlers around!) I know nothing would ever happen, but just the thought of him being attracted to her physically and emotionally makes me feel so low.

Please tell me I'm being ridiculous. I work with lots of men so I know it's ridiculous. They whatsapp a lot and see each other pretty much every day and I'm so worried history will repeat itself, DH is very attractive and kind, etc, but not at all flirty in any way.

To answer the cockwomble/SAHD questions and concerns my earning potential is much higher than his. Before we had DCs we decided I would work and he would stay at home as I love my job and he loves kids. We're lucky it's worked really well and we are comfortable enough to do so. I wouldn't want to be a SAHM even though it wil be really hard to go back after 8 months off.

In terms of housework/childcare we split things based on what we each like doing/are best at. He's better at cooking so does all the cooking although I'm better at meal planning/budgeting. I do the majority of the laundry, he hoovers.

As I do the washing up it's been me sterilising 90% of the time but I've said that can be his job now and he's happy with that.

The self esteem issue I need to tackle. I've lost the baby weight but about a size 14 and would feel more comfortable 10/12. I am a martyr and will always prioritise the house work or dc over myself. I need to take better care of myself and when I start back at work I'll have to!!

He mentioned something that I thought was worth posting. He said he's observed a few times where her and her DH have had big arguments in front of him. One at a DC party I didn't go to as baby was tiny and one more recently. She definitely presents their relationship as being so strong, and exciting (she talks about how often they have sex etc ALL THE TIME) but I wonder if she's covering up some unhappiness at home? She couldn't have been totally content to have had the EA?

Anyway, I'm going to focus on myself and my relationship with DH and start to pull back slowly from this woman. I think if I did anything more dramatic she would thrive on that and I'm not going to give her the satisfaction!!

Great update OP. You and your DH are a team and need to present a united front. Perhaps you and your DH can spend more time together rather than being in the company of friends (and her) so frequently?

Good outcome,sounds like a worthwhile discussion

Mudcity thank you I was thinking the same- going to organise some nice family days put together and maybe see if MIL can baby sit next time we visit them and we can go to the cinema or something x

That is a great update Cheeky. Great to see you're not letting her get to you and taking control of the situation!

Think using the mil to baby sit is a much better idea. Wonderful update, I'm glad you approached it all with honesty and that he was able to see it from your side. Don't let her manipulate you any further into offering lifts from your DH .all the very best to you OP xx

Great news!

I'd be wary too. She clearly has no qualms about having an emotional affair with a married man. If that's what it was... who told you about it? Are you sure it wasn't the dad confiding in her and getting carried away, or was she encouraging him and responding? Sometimes the line between male/female friendships gets a little blurred.

I think men (even very honest committed men) are vulnerable to the advances of an attractive woman.

Lovely to read your update OP. Your DH loves you very much. Cut loose from this woman.

Either you trust him or you don't

It’s not as simple as that whatshall