Look, you’re not thinking straight.
You are NOT protecting yourself from this man at all. Like so many people in abusive relationships, you are blind to the risk and although you are shocked at the individual behaviours, but it’s not leading you to the natural, basic understanding of what these mean.
eg. Oh my God, he crept through my window! = shock and momentary fear at the time.... lots of talk about alerting the authorities. But tailing off to, making your own private silent attempts at making it a bit harder for him to do it again (eg the lock) and becoming too ashamed and downplaying it so much that it becomes ‘ah well I ‘cant’ (wont) tell anyone, and it doesn’t really mean anything’, beyond simply the actual act of climbing into your window.
A non-abused person would understand the act of breaking into your home and forcing himself upon you, like it’s ‘normal’ to have to force his way in to gain access to you and your children... well, they’d be terrified.
Particularly as this man had also quite possibly stabbed himself in order to get your attention... you’re upset at the lies, but you should be fucking terrified that he has no brakes.
Where is the knife he used? Is he carrying it around? If he has no brakes that stop him from breaking & entering into your home, and refusing to leave until you threaten to call the police... how long before he thinks about a more direct way of controlling you via using that same weapon on you (and yes, that knife is a weapon, sorry if that sounds extreme).
And You are repeating this same behaviour all over again. Like the holiday situation, which you’ve not dealt with in the way you needed to, to protect yourself. I’m not telling you off, but I am trying to get you to see that your behaviour isn’t normal!!! It isn’t anything to be ashamed of either, so please please don’t be, it’s thebehaviojr of someone stuck deep in an abusive relationship.
But you cannot change it if you are too busy feeling ashamed and guilty and leaving yourself unprotected because that would mean admitting you’re in too deep to cope with.
With the holiday, you first had the correct reaction, shock and upset, taking action, all really really good stuff!
Then the quick minimization, acting like there’s not really any threat and taking no real steps to protect yourself from harm...
And now, you are suggesting doing dodgy and illegal acts yourself to attempt to protect yourself in a silent, hiding, covering everything up kind of way... going to extraordinary lengths to try and protect yourself and your children when all you had to do was really easy actions a couple of weeks ago,
But now, you’re suggesting you steal his passport, or with hold it deliberately to stop a man from going on a holiday he’s paid for and has absolutely no legal reason not to go on... so you’ll be the one in the wrong. Yet he’s the one abusing you!
And no to the really odd idea some posters have that the police will happily collude I’m with holding an individuals official identity documents to stop him leaving the country with no legal cause or evidence for this action.
Far better to post it slightly to late, or second class etc. but except another break in and a ranting raging man when he can’t find it.
I’m willing to bet that without this thread, and without the worry of the holiday, there’s not a chance in hell you end up telling the police about any of this.
But, this man sounds very risky and dangerous to you. He’s already committing acts that are threatening and illegal. You need to start protecting yourself. You need to stop helping your abuser abuse you. Because that’s what you are doing. I know you’re not doing it on purpose. But you need to recognise that as a victim of abuse, you’re so enmeshed with his behaviour you are not judging this situation well. I’m sorry, but you aren’t and that’s ok... but you need help off people who can see through all his tricks and keep you and your children safe.
I’m really hoping that because you’re posting on this thread, and because there is a genuine and immediate threat to you with the prospect of him following you on holiday, you might find the strength to go to the police again this time. Or Women’s Aid? Or both?
Please get help. No shame in needing help. But you can’t do it on your own...