Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Lying about being stabbed?

179 replies

DextroDependant · 06/04/2018 23:24

I had a holiday booked with my partner to leave next week but we broke up.

I think he thought I would calm down and change my mind but things came to a head this afternoon when I confirmed I wouldn't be going away with him.

He was being a nuisance outside my house so I had to call the police, he left when he realised I was calling them.

A few hours later he text me that he had been chased by a lad with a knife but was going back to that area to get to his mum's.

45mins after that his mum text me that he had been stabbed and beaten with a bar.

His sister was texting me updates.

Less than 2 hours later he had apparently been to the hospital, been seen and been discharged. Told to come back tomorrow for head x rays and told that the stab wound may have damaged his liver.

This info is coming via his mum and sister.

AIBU to think that it is a load of bollocks and no way would he have been seen and dealt with that fast. Surely he would have been kept in for observation at least?

AIBU unreasonable to limit my response to - well at least he can get a crime reference and claim for the holiday on the insurance as he won't be able to travel after being stabbed.

OP posts:
ReanimatedSGB · 07/04/2018 12:49

They are likely to at least interview him. And he's already in a non-rational state, so it won't take much listening to him to convince them he's a threat, so they will either arrest him and throw him in a cell for the weekend, or be ready to arrest him if he shows up at your home tomorrow.

GreenTulips · 07/04/2018 12:56

Wow!

I would assume that he's less of a pain to him mother and sister whilst he's with you and will now be a pain to live with now you've thrown him out. It's in their own interests that he stays with you and keep him out of trouble. Don't engage with them further - block them aswell.

He may have spare keys ans lullimg you into a false sense of security - Change the lock.

Change your hotel booking they may have a sister hotel and it won't cost much to alter.

Ring the police and report - there's no shame and officers will have dealt with similar cases. It doesn't excuse his behaviour

skippykips · 07/04/2018 13:05

Op This man is dangerous. If you genuinely believe he 'stabbed' himself to gain your attention, please think what he could do to you or your DC when he doesn't get the attention he wants!
Please report, please stay away from him and keep all windows closed for the time being.
Change routine if possible and please stay safe on holiday!

Original poster
DextroDependant · 07/04/2018 13:07

Just tried to ring 101 but they are experiencing high call volume and the wait is over 20 mins.

I will ring again later. Hopefully he isn't going to come back today.

I feel sick with it all. Why does he have to ruin everything. I just dont even know how it has got to this again .

OP posts:
GabsAlot · 07/04/2018 13:10

oh i remember ytou now with th holiday etc

please still try and change hotel it does seem like hes going to follow u there

and keep trying the police dont feel embarrassed

skippykips · 07/04/2018 13:13

This is in no way your fault! You gave him another chance because you believed in him! Its not your fault!
Keep trying 101! Keep us updated, please don't disappear from thread as I think we will all worry, I know I will!

Original poster
DextroDependant · 07/04/2018 13:13

I just realised I still have his passport. It's with all of ours.

I genuinely don't know if I can just keep it and prevent him from going on a holiday he has paid for. Is that ok for me to do? O feel so sick thinking about it like it is stealing his money but he has brought it on himself hasn't He?

Where would I stand legally on that?

OP posts:
QuackPorridgeBacon · 07/04/2018 13:15

I’d keep it. He hasn’t asked for t and when he does hopefully you will already be away and cannot go back and get it. That way he also misses the holiday. This sounds scary op you really need to call the police and get this sorted. Tell them what he has done and he has told you he isn’t going on holiday so you don’t change your hotel and now he will try and show up. This is serious, you have kids to look out for. Forget being embarrassed, we all do stupid things but don’t let that stop you from getting things sorted out.

LadyFlumpalot · 07/04/2018 13:16

"Hi, I have no idea who this is but you are texting my new phone. I'm sorry your son/brother got stabbed, hope he's better soon"

Or

"Error 512 - text could not be sent - invalid recipient number" after each and every text.

LadyFlumpalot · 07/04/2018 13:17

Oh ffs, I need to learn to read whole threads. Ignore me.

UpstartCrow · 07/04/2018 13:21

DextroDependant Hand his passport in to the local police station. Dont keep it.

TERFragetteCity · 07/04/2018 13:22

I just realised I still have his passport. It's with all of ours.

Pop it in the post to his mum - second class stamp.

QuackPorridgeBacon · 07/04/2018 13:22

UpstartCrow That does sound smarter. Would they hold it and prevent him travelling until they have spoken to him?

Original poster
DextroDependant · 07/04/2018 13:23

I hadn't thought of that UpstartCrow.

What a bloody nightmare this is. I am going to try and get some housework done.

My baby gets back from his dad's today so that's something to look forward to although I think I will give the cake a miss....

OP posts:
DisgraceToTheYChromosome · 07/04/2018 13:26

Actually, if you can drop it in at your local police station, you can explain it belongs to your violent and disturbed ex against whom you had a non mol. You haven't stolen or withheld it then.

UpstartCrow · 07/04/2018 13:26

QuackPorridgeBacon DextroDependant
He climbed in through the window so we can only hope - I would make a point of saying that to them as I handed it over Grin

RepealMay25th · 07/04/2018 13:26

I genuinely don't know if I can just keep it and prevent him from going on a holiday he has paid for. Is that ok for me to do? O feel so sick thinking about it like it is stealing his money but he has brought it on himself hasn't He? Where would I stand legally on that?

Easy, you just didn't find it, did you? You can find it next week when you are back, for sure.

GreenTulips · 07/04/2018 13:26

Well when passports are lost it's customary to post them back to the issuer via snail mail - leave it a few days so there's no chance of him coming with you - Oh Dear

(Just denied ever seeing it these pesky things go missing all the time

tenterden · 07/04/2018 13:28

I hate to be the voice of doom but I doubt the police will have resources available to keep him overnight just in case he does something else.

I also don't think they would do anything with the PP other than hand it back to the owner.

Agree with PP, don't let anyone eat the cake.

When next week do you travel? Even if you keep his PP ( I would) it is possible he could get a replacement in time. I would still change hotel or even resort/country/continent!!

I also agree you should get locks changed.

GreenTulips · 07/04/2018 13:30

He illegally entered her property that's not 'nothing'

He could only get a new passport once he realises his is missing and he has spare cash to replace it with or the time to drive for an emergency appointment

Sparklesdontshine · 07/04/2018 13:30

Defo speak with the police, he sounds bonkers

Inthedeepdarkwinter · 07/04/2018 13:31

Either go to the police station or stay on the phone. He has a knife with which he's stabbed himself, has a history of stalking and a non-mol against him and you need absolutely need to speak to the police asap to secure your house and to secure you and the children.

Don't be embarrassed, the police understand these situations where people go back- don't let that stop you reporting him and alerting them.

UpstartCrow · 07/04/2018 13:31

But they aren't going to drive it to his house, its going to take time for them to find him, let him know they have it, and for him to collect it.

(Also, its the right thing to do with a passport that isnt yours.)

Original poster
DextroDependant · 07/04/2018 13:32

We go on Tuesday so hopefully he won't have time to get a replacement.

OP posts:
tenterden · 07/04/2018 13:34

greentulips I hope your post wasn't aimed at me? Confused

I didn't say it was "nothing" maybe you are quoting someone else?

It's fairly easy to get a replacement passport if you live within striking distance of London. I asked OP when she is travelling next week as obviously less chance of him getting a new one by Monday than by Friday.

I know people who have had the living shit kicked out of them by their partners and the police have just cautioned them and dropped them back home...........