Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Lying about being stabbed?

179 replies

DextroDependant · 06/04/2018 23:24

I had a holiday booked with my partner to leave next week but we broke up.

I think he thought I would calm down and change my mind but things came to a head this afternoon when I confirmed I wouldn't be going away with him.

He was being a nuisance outside my house so I had to call the police, he left when he realised I was calling them.

A few hours later he text me that he had been chased by a lad with a knife but was going back to that area to get to his mum's.

45mins after that his mum text me that he had been stabbed and beaten with a bar.

His sister was texting me updates.

Less than 2 hours later he had apparently been to the hospital, been seen and been discharged. Told to come back tomorrow for head x rays and told that the stab wound may have damaged his liver.

This info is coming via his mum and sister.

AIBU to think that it is a load of bollocks and no way would he have been seen and dealt with that fast. Surely he would have been kept in for observation at least?

AIBU unreasonable to limit my response to - well at least he can get a crime reference and claim for the holiday on the insurance as he won't be able to travel after being stabbed.

OP posts:
ReanimatedSGB · 07/04/2018 11:50

Actually, you can have him nicked straight away. He has no right to be in your house univited: climbing into someone else's home is a crime.

HeadfirstForHalos · 07/04/2018 11:51

Definitely call the police, that is shocking and not in any way normal behaviour.

RandomMess · 07/04/2018 11:56

Yep call the police and report it, I suspect you need to have a lust of incidents officially recorded to get a restraining order!!!!

SmileyBird · 07/04/2018 11:57

Yep. Call the police.

OyO · 07/04/2018 11:59

Shock he sounds batshit

insancerre · 07/04/2018 12:00

Op, ring the police officer who is dealing with your case and tell them about the break in and his claims to have been injured

TrickyD · 07/04/2018 12:02

Good to know you are going on your holiday regardless. However is there any possibility that he can just use the ticket (assuming you are flying) and just turn up and get on the plane?

OyO · 07/04/2018 12:03

... posted too soon. Was also going to say to update the police about him entering your home. I’d be worried now about him joining you on the holiday or entering your home whilst you’re away.

Original poster
DextroDependant · 07/04/2018 12:09

My sister and her partner are staying here while I am away to look after the dogs.

He can go on the holiday regardless as he has booked separately to us. I was going to change hotel last week but he assured me he wouldn't go and I could just pay him half the money he lost when I get back.

I am embarrassed to call the police. Sorry for massive drip feed but I have previously had a non mol against him. We split up last year and he was behaving like a stalker.

I am embarrassed to admit that I got back with him, I know it's stupid but he was having help from the mental health team and from probation so I believed when he said he had changed and is now on medication.

I just feel like an absolute idiot. Can't believe I have been so stupid.

OP posts:
RandomMess · 07/04/2018 12:11

Then very apologetically phone the police and tell them the truth...

Mumhomealone · 07/04/2018 12:15

OP, having a non mol previously means it's even more important you report this and get one in place again. Don't be embarrassed about it. The police will have seen this before. Just don't take him back again!

twer · 07/04/2018 12:16

OP. Please call the police.

BrownTurkey · 07/04/2018 12:20

The police will be delighted you have seen the light, honestly, they may individually get frustrated and not be totally supportive, but they do understand that its not simple.

Weezol · 07/04/2018 12:20

Please, please call the Police. It might not be just a cake he's carrying next time.

TrickyD · 07/04/2018 12:23

He has brought this situation upon himself and I really do not see why you should have to pay any money that he has lost.

Anyway, if he has insurance he will be able to claim the money back when he submits details of his punctured liver etc. Wink Grin

IntelligentYetIndecisive · 07/04/2018 12:25

Does he have access to his mother's and sister's phones?

UpstartCrow · 07/04/2018 12:26

Get another non molestation order.
Dont give him any money.
Block him and his batshit flying monkey relatives out of your life.

Dont look back!

wheretoyougonow · 07/04/2018 12:31

Please report him to the police. I promise you they won't judge you for getting back with him. They will support you to stay safe. Thanks
Please also get advice from your local or national domestic abuse service. They will offer support. His behaviour is not normal and it is escalating.
You are doing really well but you need support.

MadMags · 07/04/2018 12:37

You have to tell the police.

Quite honestly, they don’t give a shit if you got back with him. It’s part of their job. Phone them.

Hygge · 07/04/2018 12:37

The police won't care that you went back to him, they will be used to this as it happens in lots of abusive relationships.

They'll just want to you to be safe now.

Don't risk being harmed because you feel embarrassed.

Keep the messages being sent to you but don't reply at all to any of them. Show them to the police.

I wouldn't believe a word of his story and I'd suspect that if he hasn't manipulated his mum and sister then he's using their phones without their knowledge, or pretending to be them some other way.

Report all of this to the police and make sure everyone around you knows what's going on.

tenterden · 07/04/2018 12:41

Honestly you do need to call the police, and get a new non mol with a power of arrest attached.

Also, you DO need to change hotels. You know he is going to turn up don't you?

Original poster
DextroDependant · 07/04/2018 12:42

I think his mum and sister genuinely believe he was attacked. He does have some scratches on his back which may have looked worse if they were bleeding and he had a swelling on his head last night but I genuinely believe that he has done it to himself.
It's just too convienient otherwise.

Thank you all for not flaming me for getting back with him. I genuinely feel like the most stupid person on the planet right now.

Good point being he left his keys this morning so I have taken mine back. (I had been leaving mine in the door so he couldn't use it)

I will ring 101 and let them know what happened.

OP posts:
ReanimatedSGB · 07/04/2018 12:42

Oh please do report and don't worry about having been fooled by his supposed recovery. It's not at all uncommon and just means you are a kind person. But this man is dangerous. He needs to be kept away from you by law - the fact that he has been harassing you by text and has broken into your house should mean that the police can arrest him today. Tell them he has threatened to come back tomorrow, as well. Because that's a credible threat and you are at risk - he might be doing the 'But I'm nice and lovely and just want to be near you' act at the moment, but that could turn at any moment into 'You don't care about me so I'm going to hurt you.'

MadMags · 07/04/2018 12:43

He’s going to turn up on that holiday.

You need to change hotels.

Bluesmartiesarebest · 07/04/2018 12:45

You need to call the police. Your ex sounds dangerous and he is a threat to you.

Unfortunately, you also need to keep all windows and doors locked from now on and will have to tell your DCs to do the same. Tell them that psycho ex isn't nice to you. It may sound ott but don't risk eating any cake he gave you. Could you change your holiday booking last minute to somewhere else?