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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

8 day old baby...

333 replies

guierrla · 06/04/2018 23:19

i've seen that a woman i know has gone off for a night down town 8 days after giving birth!! aibu to think that this is crazy?!?!

OP posts:
RepealMay25th · 07/04/2018 13:30

aibu to think that this is crazy?!?!

yabvu to imagine it is any of your business. Why the fuck would you give a shiny shit? What difference does it make to your life?

CuppaSarah · 07/04/2018 13:32

What is her secret?? I'd love to go out a week after birth, but never felt up to it so far. Especially with DS, I was only a couple days discharged from hospital at that point and felt like death.

Personalsituations99 · 07/04/2018 13:41

I suppose you wouldn't mind at all if she was at home making tea and cleaning the home while her husband is down the pub? Smdh!

BertrandRussell · 07/04/2018 13:53

“What is her secret?? I'd love to go out a week after birth, but never felt up to it so far”

Luck. Support. Confidence. Desire. Opportunity. Expectation. Any or all of these. But mostly luck.

formerbabe · 07/04/2018 13:54

Sorry but I totally judge that. Prioritise are fucked up imo.

formerbabe · 07/04/2018 13:55

*priorities

NotTakenUsername · 07/04/2018 13:56

One post. First post. There was a thread recently about how to spot a troll.

Ladies and gentlemen... exhibit A.

formerbabe · 07/04/2018 13:56

Oh and everyone saying it's fine...I bet you don't think a new dad going for a night out 8 days later is ok.

NotTakenUsername · 07/04/2018 13:56

Sorry should say, reported.

RepealMay25th · 07/04/2018 13:57

Oh and everyone saying it's fine...I bet you don't think a new dad going for a night out 8 days later is ok

Couldn't give a shit about that either. Why would you?

ethelfleda · 07/04/2018 14:00

Fair play. I'm desperate to have even a tiny bit of a social life back but I'm too knackered. And my baby is over 5 months old!

beyondthesky · 07/04/2018 14:06

I went out drinking two days after having a child. I was in a very damaging abusive relationship and felt completely trapped so had to get away.

To the rest of the world it may have looked like I didn't care about my child but that definitely was not the case!

Ollivander84 · 07/04/2018 14:08

It's fine. My friend was back on a horse 14 days after and back to work 3 weeks after

BIWI · 07/04/2018 14:10

Exhibit B
Posted after 5pm on Friday

Steeley113 · 07/04/2018 14:12

Went out when my 2nd was 2 weeks old. Baby stayed with his Dad, was all good and I had a great night.

Gave birth this Thursday to my 3rd, ended up in theatre after a massive PPH and tbh now I’ve had a blood transfusion I’m feeling fine Wink Tbh I’m googling if it’s ok for me to have a drink as I’m gagging for a G&T and a takeaway night with my girl friends Gin

justawhisper · 07/04/2018 14:14

I know someone who went abroad a week after having hers. Left the baby with in-laws. Each to their own..

BasiliskStare · 07/04/2018 14:15

Bertrand - here's a shot at "Actually, I'd like a few women like this to come on Mumsnet to temper the gloom a bit."

I did have an emergency cesarean - DH's parents came 3 hours afterwards without asking. I wasn't really in the mood but it was lovely to see their joy at first grandchild. The hospital staff were great at checking I was Ok having visitors so soon. I didn't feel great afterwards to be honest ( well , stitches , obviously) but DS was healthy and that was the main thing. I could sort of manage my own discomfort and be able to have visitors once I got home. It really isn't that hard to sit in a chair for a while and chat , and then say if you think you need to go and rest , or personally aren't comfortable with BF in front of visitors ( if that is what you are doing) . I could not have gone clubbing and to be perfectly honest I am not sure I could have done to a pub quiz 10 days later , but even though my experience was not straightforward - it was fine. But But I am lucky to have a supportive DH and both our sets of parents did not expect to be waited on hand and foot. I did take DS out whilst breastfeeding for a walk - I wanted to see an antique shop & actually I had to button up my coat and get directly home. Next time I took him out straight after feeding. You live and learn Grin

DisgraceToTheYChromosome · 07/04/2018 14:16

Exhibit C: misspelled "edgy" username.

DioneTheDiabolist · 07/04/2018 14:57

Ah, a judgy thread about new mums. It started off judging mums who go out, now it has moved on to judging new mums who need recovery time or comment on their bleeding and lactation. Motherhood is unfortunately a state of perpetually being judged. This thread is certainly evidence of that.AngrySad

Sleeplikeasloth · 07/04/2018 15:05

Women bleeding, how awful...
We do it every single month. Granted for a lot of women it's a bit heavier and lasts longer after birth, but it's not like we're bleeding from birth injuries (usually!!) but from the normal function of our uterus after birth, just like a period. I don't think it's worth all the melodrama.

Freetodowhatiwant · 07/04/2018 15:12

Ds2 was 8 days old the first time I went out for a couple of hours without him. It was NYE and I went to the local pub with DH and my brother. It was my second CS so I got the bus for two stops instead of the usual walk! It was great to get out though, just for a couple of hours. The baby was EBF but my parents managed fine. I don’t see the problem.

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 07/04/2018 15:13

No.im simply saying postpartum doesn’t require domestic confinement wearing the baby 24-7
It’s ok to get on with getting on.there doesn’t need to be an embargo on guests
It’s permissible for the postie to ring the bell or amazon to deliver.or mil to pop round
Birth has gotten competitive, feeding is competitive, how much,how long one bled & fed is competitive
It’s made out that there’s a right way to be good mum,and often on mn that is confinement and not allowing anyone (esp mil) to handle the baby

Not Being seen to wholly have life subsumed by baby is deemed questionable

purplelila2 · 07/04/2018 15:15

Good for her also mind your own business!

formerbabe · 07/04/2018 15:17

Sorry but I find it really shitty behaviour. If you're so desperate for a night out that you'd leave your week old baby, I'd say you weren't ready to become a parent.

RepealMay25th · 07/04/2018 15:18

Sorry but I find it really shitty behaviour

You're not sorry, so why say that? How is it shitty and why would you possibly care?

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