8 day old baby...

[guierrla]

i've seen that a woman i know has gone off for a night down town 8 days after giving birth!! aibu to think that this is crazy?!?!

So what? Good for her. Nobody bats an eyelid if the dad goes out to " wet the babies head. " she deserves it after 9 months of pregnancy.

You're definitely not literally speechless.

Where is the line at which you hoik your judgy pants? Is it OK for a woman you know nothing about to go out 10 days post partum? Or 8 days?

I had a thread about being ill with my baby, coincided with my husband being away in Brazil on a boys trip, my baby was 6 months old at the time and yes everyone slated him (me included)

I wouldn’t slate my husband for going away if i was ill with a 6 month old unless you mean very seriously ill.

I had a thread about being ill with my baby, coincided with my husband being away in Brazil on a boys trip, my baby was 6 months old at the time and yes everyone slated him (me included)

How is that remotely relevant? Hint: it's not.

Formerbabe she didn't go to Ibiza. She went out for an evening.

OF course it’s relevant as it’s an example of MNs saying it was too soon for a dad to go on a boys trip.

No its not relevant, because a week in Brazil when the other parent is ill and doesnt want you to go is nothing at all similar to a night in the pub when the other parent is fine with it.
You know that.

If I hadn't been bf, my dp would have been so excited if I had gone out and left him with our babies!

I wasn’t ill when he left- I got the D&V once he left.

Oh come on just imagine the aibu thread...

"I gave birth today and my dh has gig tickets for tonight...he still wants to but I'd rather he stayed at home with us...aibu?"

The man would be crucified on here

Fascinating how people always find something completely unrelated to compare something to then say "See? I told you I was right!"

I wasn’t ill when he left- I got the D&V once he left

Doesn't change the point at all.

The man would be crucified on here

He would if SHE DIDN'T WANT TO GO. That is DIFFERENT to if they BOTH WANT TO GO or if she wants to go and he is happy to stay home with baby.

Honestly, this is so fucking obvious you shouldn't need spoon feeding like this!

I wasn’t ill when he left- I got the D&V once he left

So you expected him to fly home from Brazil because you had the shits?

“If you can't manage to decline social occasions in the first week of your babies life, then I'd say your priorities are way off and you weren't ready to become a parent.”

Is that your considered opinion is it? Good job no one gives a toot what you’d say and can make up their own mind isn’t it? Like you have any insight over someone else’s circumstances to claim.

Yeah I missed all of my family, but it didn’t “tear me apart”. Some people’s kids are the be all and end all of their lives. Mine aren’t, and both are fine.

@NotUmbongoUnchained, as a woman who could not have kids I’m genuinely curious. Are you saying the bond you had/have with your children is no different to any other kind of love e.g for parents, brothers, partners? That it is not special and unique? That’s a refreshingly honest viewpoint if so.

I don't see where she said anything of the sort.
My bond with my children is very special and unique, however I entirely agree they are not my whole life and they do not always come first every time.

No. I would die for my kids. I wouldn’t for anyone else.

But I don’t feel the need to sit and stare at them, be with them 24/7, sacrifice my own lifestyle or any of the other stuff people have mentioned on here. Fair enough if you do, but I don’t. And it’s shitty that people try and make you feel bad for that. My kids are fine. They’re actually the best behaved kids I know and are easy, lovely children. So I can’t be doing too badly.

"OF course it’s relevant as it’s an example of MNs saying it was too soon for a dad to go on a boys trip."

Actually, that's not what happened. You made it very clear early on that he was behaving like a bastard and "that was a whole other thread". Not that you had happily waved him off on the trip.

sacrifice my own lifestyle

Doesn't everyone sacrifice their lifestyle to some extent when they become parents? I'm not saying you sacrifice everything but your lifestyle can't help but change somewhat?

To a certain extent. Me and my husband still go on a date once a week, I still work full time, I still go out with my friends. Not much has changed for me really apart from I get to spend my evenings with my kids apart from doing whatever I used to eat up to.

But I don’t feel the need to sit and stare at them, be with them 24/7, sacrifice my own lifestyle or any of the other stuff people have mentioned on here. Fair enough if you do, but I don’t.

Snap. I love mine to bits but I have never felt physical pain or ‘torn apart’ when I am not with them, I was fine going back to work and when they went to school, no tears or upset whatsoever.

I absolutely adored gazing st my babies-my mother used to say that "it helps them grow".But I don't think that somebody else doing the gazing for a couple of hours is going to traumatise them!

“Today 11:11 OnlyFoolsnMothers

“Tickets for something you loved”...literally speechless. Good luck to you all”

I’m 🤣🤣 at this post. You’re bonkers. You’re speechless because a new mother wants to leave the house alone within days of the baby being born? Give your head a waggle