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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

8 day old baby...

333 replies

guierrla · 06/04/2018 23:19

i've seen that a woman i know has gone off for a night down town 8 days after giving birth!! aibu to think that this is crazy?!?!

OP posts:
LipstickHandbagCoffee · 07/04/2018 22:18

Sounds like it was fun and you made plans for baby to be safe

FickleHuman · 07/04/2018 22:28

Couldn't care less what others do. They are welcome to go to the other side of the world for all I care.

I wouldn't do it solely because I was too ill! Even now I'm too damn tired!!

DwangelaForever · 08/04/2018 08:01

@GreatDuckCookery how does leaking not happen in the real world? Are you one of those heavy period deniers too 😶

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 08/04/2018 08:14

It's not a given that someone will leak blood all over their clothes just because they've given birth 8 days previously.

Certainly not a reason to stay indoors while your friends are down the pub!

Andtakeadeepbreath · 08/04/2018 08:45

I think childbirth is the perfect excuse to stay in and put your feet up while your body returns to normal (or something close to normal....)
I had a mil constantly nagging me to go out for a drink and she would watch the baby.
Wasn’t for my benefit at all. It was about her having baby on her own. I didn’t want an alcoholic drink, or to stand in a busy pub. I’d had stitches and a rough time.
I was a mess, sore, full of milk and post birth bleeding is grim. Oh and you seem to be sweating and weeing a lot. Something to do with getting rid of the extra fluid from pregnancy I think. Who would want to go to the pub like that?

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 08/04/2018 08:56

I was a mess, sore, full of milk and post birth bleeding is grim. Oh and you seem to be sweating and weeing a lot. Something to do with getting rid of the extra fluid from pregnancy I think. Who would want to go to the pub like that?

Yes, if you're feeling like the above I doubt you'd want to go out. But many of us didn't feel like that. I certainly didn't.

BertrandRussell · 08/04/2018 08:56

“I think childbirth is the perfect excuse to stay in and put your feet up while your body returns to normal (or something close to normal....)”

Of course.

If that’s what you want to do

DwangelaForever · 08/04/2018 09:24

Why does it have to be one extreme or the other though 🙄. Just because some women don't leak doesn't mean it can't happen. I was talking about for me personally...

Also I'm not judging the woman because I went out for a meal with work colleagues two weeks after my daughter was born but it was in the afternoon and it was for minimum 4 hours.

I barely fancy a night out on the town when I'm not hormonal and bleeding but certainly wouldn't have fancied it 8 days after birth!

DwangelaForever · 08/04/2018 09:25

Maximum four hours should I say

BertrandRussell · 08/04/2018 09:38

“Why does it have to be one extreme or the other though 🙄. Just because some women don't leak doesn't mean it can't happen. I was talking about for me personally...”

Of course. It’s just that the Mumsnet narrative is that feeling awful postpartum is the norm. And I think it is a shame that women will go into their first labour expecting to feel awful. They might. Or they might not. As I said earlier, it is largely down to luck.

BertrandRussell · 08/04/2018 09:39

And I still don’t see why going out in the afternoon for lunch is OK but going out in the evening for a couple of drinks isn’t.

formerbabe · 08/04/2018 10:13

And I still don’t see why going out in the afternoon for lunch is OK but going out in the evening for a couple of drinks isn’t

I don't see them as different. I think there's a difference between a new mum being separated from her baby for an essential reason ie hospital appointment and a new mum purposefully choosing to be away from her baby when it's non essential. This thread is ridiculous...no one has said mums can't have a break or shouldn't go out to enjoy themselves. The issue is to do with the age of the baby... if you can't manage to decline social occasions in the first week of your babies life, then I'd say your priorities are way off and you weren't ready to become a parent.

NotUmbongoUnchained · 08/04/2018 10:18

if you can't manage to decline social occasions in the first week of your babies life, then I'd say your priorities are way off and you weren't ready to become a parent.

Or you’re just incredibly judgemental.

DioneTheDiabolist · 08/04/2018 10:19

if you can't manage to decline social occasions in the first week of your babies life, then I'd say your priorities are way off and you weren't ready to become a parent.
Well it's nice of you to take the time to comment formerbabe, but this only displays your own lack of knowledge, insight and judgy nature. Hopefully maturity will bring you greater understanding.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 08/04/2018 10:50

DioneTheDiabolist quick scenario question, if you had a super “easy” delivery in the day time and was formula feeding your baby would you go clubbing that same night?

DioneTheDiabolist · 08/04/2018 10:56

Good god no. I need lots of incentive to go to a night club at the best of times. They're not my thing. Why do you ask?

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 08/04/2018 10:59

Me too actually.
Ok, would you go out to dinner/ go to the theatre, whatever you’re into?
I’m trying to see at what point do people think it’s too soon to leave a newborn.

Sprinklesinmyelbow · 08/04/2018 10:59

We weren’t lucky enough to have childcare (and tbf, she needed constant breastfeeding) but I totally would’ve done this. As it happened we just took the kids to the pub with us- so portable at that age! Cheers!!

RepealMay25th · 08/04/2018 11:00

With my first I don't think I left her for nearly a year. With my last I went to a fancy opening when she was, I think, 10 days old? I had a great time and she was just fine.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 08/04/2018 11:07

I’m not asking about taking a baby with you or leaving them after 10days, I’m specifically asking about leaving them out of choice within the same 24hr period when they came out of you.

DioneTheDiabolist · 08/04/2018 11:08

If I felt well enough and had tickets for something that I loved, then yes, I probably would go. Neither the child nor myself nor our future relationship would be in any danger if we spent a couple of hours apart.

RepealMay25th · 08/04/2018 11:10

I’m not asking about taking a baby with you or leaving them after 10days, I’m specifically asking about leaving them out of choice within the same 24hr period when they came out of you

Why?

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 08/04/2018 11:11

“Tickets for something you loved”...literally speechless. Good luck to you all

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 08/04/2018 11:12

RepealMay25th trying to see if anyone has a line, ok you’d go out after a week but the same night, a little shocked. If a dad was in these scenarios I know the responses would be vastly different.

RepealMay25th · 08/04/2018 11:15

If a dad was in these scenarios I know the responses would be vastly different

No they would not.

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