to say we get rid of cleaner when maternity leave starts?

[dazedconfused81]

Man alert!! 😂 So my wife starts maternity leave soon and is adament she wants to take as long as possible off, so 12mths probably. (Which is another bone of contention, as I would have liked to take longer off work than the standard 2 weeks!)

Obviously I’m worried about the financial impact this will have, and we’ve discussed cutting back. One of the things I think we should get rid of is the cleaner, which currently costs us about £140/mth. She disagrees, saying we will need it more than ever.

Am I being unreasonable?

Infer/imply?? I was confused too, but here's the answer-
www.vocabulary.com/articles/chooseyourwords/imply-infer/

My DH also joked that we should split the leave. I explained to him this was no problem if he was also able to push the baby out his vagina and then breastfeed it. Seems only fair really quite a nasty thing to say since many women are unable to do this. And I would feel I wouldn't be able to moan if he didn't get up in the night or give me free time if I was refusing access in this way to the childs father.

Either maternity leave is really hard, and a man wanting to half of it should be great, or it's really easy and he's just wanting a holiday. Which is it?

I'm seeing lots of views that seem to say it's a woman's leave so keep your hand off it, but also it's really tough and men should do their share. Men not wanting to step up are lazy, those that do are lazy...

(My view, it's really hard andbthat burden, and the bonding with new baby, should be shared)

I think that shared leave is in the best interests of the child and should be the starting off point
Also the problem is if the woman takes say a year off and the man goes back to work that becomes the norm and a few years down the line the woman is stuck in a part time job with no career progression
That would never have been for me

You can remember infer/imply by thinking: "Let her infer what I imply."

Honestly, I don't usually do that kind of thing. We all make errors and it doesn't matter as long as people know what you mean. But if you're a pompous ass coming on here to patronise and rebuke women, and inform them that you as a man will dictate to them what true feminism is, well....

Actually I thought I was being nice by not asking him how he could recognise misandry when he couldn't even spell it, and why he was so fearful of being lunched by women.

God what an idiot. Being spanked by Miss Whiplash for sure.

Bill, it's likely that a woman would have the first, more difficult, part of the parental leave and then, just as things are easing up, be expected to go back to work and function well there while her male partner has a much more relaxed time with the young baby.
There's no definite answer but, since a woman is much more physically affected by pregnancy, birth and (possibly) breastfeeding, it's reasonable that her wishes should come first in this.

Mxyzptlk, not everyone finds the first few months the hardest. Out of nine months so far, the first three were the easiest, and as the baby gets more mobile, it gets harder.

Experiences vary hugely.

My first born was so clingy that I barely got to put him down at all in the first 3-4 months of his life. Let me be clear, no cleaning was done! Our cleaner did her bit and my dh did the vast majority of the rest.
So unless you're planning to do a heck of a lot more domestic stuff I think you should keep the cleaner, at least for now!

I have had three DC and can confirm when the nesting instinct kicked in in later pregnancy I did nothing but clean... I had absolutely huge babies and therefore huge bumps too (and SPD in my last pregnancy.) I sound like a martyr but I fucking loved cleaning in the last five or six weeks of pregnancy, more than I ever have in my life. I remember getting up at about 4am once to clean the toilet .

However post birth I was sore, knackered and actually extremely ill following the second one which almost killed me. I was lucky my mum and nan came over to clean a lot.

I would suggest keeping the cleaner until your DW feels better at least. You have absolutely no idea how the birth will go, she may be in a lot of pain.

Sleeplikeasloth, that's right experiences vary so, as the mother will be the one most affected by all the physical stuff, her views should have precedence.

No no no you need to keep the cleaner! Your wife will be exausted with lack of sleep, baby feeds and feeling awful. Please look after her