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Original poster

Who was unreasonable in this cafe?

370 replies

PartyRingss · 05/04/2018 15:23

I was having a coffee earlier in a busy high street cafe and witnessed a couple of women having an argument.

It was very busy in there today and I looked up when I heard raised voices. Woman 1 was sat down at a table for 4 on her own with no food or drink. Woman 2 was stood there holding a tray with food and drink on with her two smallish children (I'd say around 4/5/6 years old.)

She had obviously asked woman 1 if she could have the table as she didn't have her food/drink but was obviously told no. That's when woman 2 started raising her voice saying she shouldn't be saving tables when the cafe is so busy whilst people with their food then have nowhere to sit.

Woman 1 argued loudly "well you should have made sure you had somewhere to sit before getting your food " to which the other woman shouted "well I can't leave my kids at a table and get food!" Woman one then told her that her dh would be here in a minute and at that moment another couple offered woman 2 the other half of their table of 4 so she sat with them and pulled up a chair to sit on the end and she made comments about "selfish people."

Meanwhile woman 1 sat defiantly for 10 minutes looking out the window until her husband had been served at the counter and came with their drinks and sandwiches. When he arrived at their table a few other tables were becoming free.

Now I know it is sense sometimes to make sure you have somewhere to sit when at a cafe where you have to take a tray and help yourself to sandwiches etc and get your hot drinks and food orders at the counter. But surely when it's busy and there are several people in front of your partner at the counter then it becomes a bit selfish, especially if you sit watching people walk around with no where to sit to eat their food. Not everyone can leave someone to reserve a table such as children for instance.

Surely by the time someone has been served other tables become free like in this case. It was so awkward watching this woman be so defiant at giving up the table for someone who had food already purchased with 2 kids in tow and rather her sit crammed up with a couple of people she didn't know, especially when her husband was quite far off being served. If it's not that busy then I don't really see an issue but it was busy and the staff were rushed off their feet.

I think woman 1 was massively unreasonable!

OP posts:
LucilleBluth · 05/04/2018 15:39

I think women one was right. I would always grab a table first or I wouldn't order. It my not seem fair but that's just hit is. I would have sat my child down with my coat and then got in line.

Butterymuffin · 05/04/2018 15:39

Woman 1 was wrong to refuse seats to people who already had food when she was sitting there with nothing. Even if she was disabled and can't stand up for long, it was rude and selfish to deny them the other seats at the table.

DanceDisaster · 05/04/2018 15:40

I miss table service!

Original poster
PartyRingss · 05/04/2018 15:40

Yes sweet moon because I have an anxiety disorder and confrontation of that sort sets off panic attacks for me so it would be to minimise the risk of one.

OP posts:
anxious2017 · 05/04/2018 15:41

How was it rude and selfish? It was her table.

When I'm eating out, I don't want to share my space with someone else and their children. If Woman 2 didn't have the sense to find a table before she queued, that's her tough luck.

SoupDragon · 05/04/2018 15:42

The table was taken.

Half the table was taken.

I would have just used the other half.

PoisonousSmurf · 05/04/2018 15:42

First to place bum on seat is keeping the space. That's what kids are for. Sending off to find a table and glare at any adults who try to take it!
Grin

SarBear34 · 05/04/2018 15:43

In a chain cafe it’s not really the staffs job to ask people to share tables.
People are meant to be grown up enough to find there own seat Confused

Fruitcorner123 · 05/04/2018 15:43

Woman 1 not massively unreasonable for saving the table but she should have offered to share with woman 2 as the other person did. In my experience people do save tables in most cafes but I would not have done so in a very busy place like you describe and I would certainly have made room for woman 1

Original poster
PartyRingss · 05/04/2018 15:43

But surely in a normal high street cafe style setting, by the time people have ordered then others are just leaving. If everyone reserved seats then they may as well make it table service? Confused

OP posts:
bluebeck · 05/04/2018 15:43

I would never order food without making sure I had secured a table first. When my DC were 5/6 they would have sat and saved the table for me whilst I queued.

Agree with PP, woman 2 was out of luck.

SweetMoon · 05/04/2018 15:44

Partyrings politely asking someone if you can share their table isn't confrontational. Its normal. Demanding to be given their table IS confrontational. So you'd obviously just avoid demanding one. No need to take up the already busy staffs time surely.

BrownTurkey · 05/04/2018 15:45

I always tell the dc to give up the table if someone else needs it before I am served. However, I wouldn’t ask someone to leave a table they were sitting at, I would just politely ask if any of the seats were spare, and if not, I would accept that. You can’t control other people’s politeness, just your own.

ilovesooty · 05/04/2018 15:46

Woman 1 should have let them share the table rather than let woman 2 struggle.

Of course if you're on your own you can't save tables while you queue can you? What do all the advocates of ramble saving suggest those people do?

ilovesooty · 05/04/2018 15:46

table saving

That1950sMum · 05/04/2018 15:48

I think woman 2 was in the wrong. She should have sat her children at a table while she went to get food.

Original poster
PartyRingss · 05/04/2018 15:49

I remember years ago when I was heavily pregnant and we went into costa coffee. I said to dh I need to sit down (I had awful spd) and as soon as I was walking to sit down, a man hurried past me and sat down where I was going to sit. He just looked at me and said "sorry but I have my drink." 🙄 I think I may have had tears in my eyes (hormonal and spd.) I can't remember what did after that but I just remember him hurrying past me to take the seat because he had his drink.

OP posts:
Urubu · 05/04/2018 15:49

Fine to get a table while someone else gets the food/drinks, as long as it is 5min or so.
Not fine if it is 10min+ this is not a waiting room!

Also, if all tables are taken VU to refuse to share.

She had no right to. The table was taken
Taken by someone that was using as a waiting room, not to consume food/drinks...
Entering a café doesn't give you the "right" to sit at a table and prevent customers from using it (especially as at this point you are nlt technically a customer yourself)

SweetMoon · 05/04/2018 15:50

ilove sooty
Eat somewhere with table service, ask to share a table, get coffee to go.

Celebelly · 05/04/2018 15:51

If there were two of us, I'd always have one of us go to a table while the other orders. However, I would have told woman 2 that one seat was for my DP but she was welcome to the other two and to pull up another seat for her DC.

OakIsBetterTho · 05/04/2018 15:51

Personally I think it's 6 of 1 and half a dozen of the other. I always sit down and wait while others order as I'm disabled, and wouldn't be bullied into moving tbh... that said, if I knew that woman two and her two children would be able to squeeze onto the table once the rest of 'my people' had arrived, I'd have suggested that tbh. But I wouldn't get up and leave h r to it.

Original poster
PartyRingss · 05/04/2018 15:54

I think that was the issue her. Her husband was way off being served. If he was next in the queue then it would be different. She must have been there 5 minutes before woman 2 asked and was there for another 10 after so to hold a table for 15 minutes in a busy cafe is not on. If she was unable to stand/disabled then she could have asked another table if she use an empty chair to sit down.

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 05/04/2018 15:54

SweetMoon I'd do suggestion 2 usually after I'd queued and been served.

I don't see why anyone should feel they have to apply the other two options. If I'm on my own I feel I have as much right to a seat in a café as anyone else.

user1494055864 · 05/04/2018 15:56

Me and kids always go and save a table while dh queues for food. If we can't find a table before we order, then we go elsewhere. I don't think you can order food in a busy cafe and just hope that a table becomes free by the time you get served, as some folk can sit and nurse 1 coffee for hours with their laptop. I'm not sure how I'd handle it if someone asked us to move while we were waiting, I wouldn't be too impressed to be honest.

Original poster
PartyRingss · 05/04/2018 15:57

If I was on my own I'd avoid a busy cafe but it's not unreasonable for a single person on their own to want somewhere to sit when they have their food. Or do people on their own avoid busy cafes?

OP posts:
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