Who was unreasonable in this cafe?

[PartyRingss]

I was having a coffee earlier in a busy high street cafe and witnessed a couple of women having an argument.

It was very busy in there today and I looked up when I heard raised voices. Woman 1 was sat down at a table for 4 on her own with no food or drink. Woman 2 was stood there holding a tray with food and drink on with her two smallish children (I'd say around 4/5/6 years old.)

She had obviously asked woman 1 if she could have the table as she didn't have her food/drink but was obviously told no. That's when woman 2 started raising her voice saying she shouldn't be saving tables when the cafe is so busy whilst people with their food then have nowhere to sit.

Woman 1 argued loudly "well you should have made sure you had somewhere to sit before getting your food " to which the other woman shouted "well I can't leave my kids at a table and get food!" Woman one then told her that her dh would be here in a minute and at that moment another couple offered woman 2 the other half of their table of 4 so she sat with them and pulled up a chair to sit on the end and she made comments about "selfish people."

Meanwhile woman 1 sat defiantly for 10 minutes looking out the window until her husband had been served at the counter and came with their drinks and sandwiches. When he arrived at their table a few other tables were becoming free.

Now I know it is sense sometimes to make sure you have somewhere to sit when at a cafe where you have to take a tray and help yourself to sandwiches etc and get your hot drinks and food orders at the counter. But surely when it's busy and there are several people in front of your partner at the counter then it becomes a bit selfish, especially if you sit watching people walk around with no where to sit to eat their food. Not everyone can leave someone to reserve a table such as children for instance.

Surely by the time someone has been served other tables become free like in this case. It was so awkward watching this woman be so defiant at giving up the table for someone who had food already purchased with 2 kids in tow and rather her sit crammed up with a couple of people she didn't know, especially when her husband was quite far off being served. If it's not that busy then I don't really see an issue but it was busy and the staff were rushed off their feet.

I think woman 1 was massively unreasonable!

I my local cafe/lunch stop they changed it recently. You used to get to the door, wait to be seated and order at the table which obviously stops this kind of behaviour. But they changed it so you now go to the counter to order, this has caused some confusion and I sat my daughter down at the table with my baby in a car seat and a lady made my daughter cry as she started shouting that she shouldn't be occupying the table when she had her drinks and we didn't. I was just being served at the counter and walked over to the table to find my daughter crying. My daughter didn't move and lady had the find another table. But then made us feel uncomfortable as kept looking over and giving us dirty looks the whole time.

Pompom42 That’s awful. I would have had to say something. You do not make a child cry and then keep staring as if you are in the right. What a stupid person.

PartyRings Is it exhausting to go through life over analysing everything that everyone around you is doing?

ilovesooty yes, I do save tables when I'm on my own. I put my coat there, and, increasingly, my trolley, as people nick things out of it if I leave it in the trolley park. I couldn't manage a trolley and a tray with hot coffee on it.

PartyRingss the man when you were pregnant was obviously a selfish dickhead, or didn't notice you were pregnant. I'd have said, "I'm pregnant and in pain, could I have that seat, please?"

I love all these people who live places where they can just go to another café. We have one other café which is out of my budget and doesn't serve proper meals.

OP, I think you're quite easily shocked. You were astonished that people on a train kept their seats, when other people had seats? How very odd.

PartyRingss because some areas don't have anywhere with table service.

I always save a table and would hate strangers sitting with me!

Well there were nine of us in a busy cafe the other day. Should we have all stood in the queue? Five adults and four kids? Nope - we got a table and amused the kids until the food came.

I completely disagree. Woman 1 was sat at a table, whilst her husband went to get served. This is completely reasonable.

This is the difference, between being a couple of adults, where one of you sits and the other goes to order.

And a woman on her own, with kids: tougher, because she has to juggle kids, ordering, table selection. That's just the way it is, isn't it?

This topic really seems to divide mn. I think the ordering food before you are seated makes sense in theory but hardly anyone does that.

PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks What’s odd about that? I live somehwere with more than one place to eat. First you have cafes and bakery’s etc then the supermarket has their own, then the likes of McDonald’s and subway. Why would it be hard to find somewhere else? If you don’t live somewhere that has more than two places to eat then that’s for you to deal with. We all give opinions on what we know and do ourselves and I would just go elsewhere if there was nowhere to sit and the place was busy.

Lucky you. Some of us don't. We have the Sainsbury's café, Caffe Nero which is too expensive and doesn't do proper meals, and McDonald's which is a 20 minute walk over the Thames.

PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks Why the attitude? Surely you can’t be annoyed at others giving advice just because they live amongst more variety?

No attitude, just that I think it's slightly narrow-minded of people to think that we can all choose where to take our DC to eat if a café's busy. When we go at 5pm after clubs, the cafe's mobbed, but I'd pay the same price for 3 paninis in Caffe Nero as I would in Sainsbury's for 3 cooked meals, and McDonald's just makes them too late for bed because of the walk. Anyway, McDonald's kids' meals are tiny.

I've stopped eating in cafes for this reason.
I wouldn't be so selfish as to put my kids in a seat for 10-15 minutes while there are others waiting to eat. I just couldn't be that cunty, but others are fine with watching a family eat standing up while they sit with their coats. Urgh.

Although I think she was entitled to the table because she was there first. You only have to get on the tube to see the blatant lack of respect for pregnant woman, old people and mothers with children. I always end up standing opposite the priority set which normally has a young guy stating down at his phone pretending he can't see you but occasionally it's a fat person. But nobody hardly ever offer their seats. Not when I was pregnant, not now as a mum and not for the old people I see either. I think it's a reflection of our culture and it's sad.

PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks So people shouldn’t post advice just incase it doesn’t work for the op? It’s not narrow minded to base your opinion on what you know. If the op has an issue with lack of places to eat then they should say so.

That wasn't my point. My point was that pps said that they couldn't understand why you'd stay in a busy café with children. That's why. We don't all live places where we have a choice.

But you still don’t have to stay, you decide to. You say it’s a sainsburies cafe so presumably you could grab something from the shop rather than stay in a busy cafe with a long queue?

And then walk home, wait for it to cook, the DC would be an hour late for bed on a school night. Our main reason for going to the Sainsbury's café is so that they get to bed on time on club nights.

But it is still a choice that’s my point, it is very rare that someone needs To eat in a cafe or a specific cafe. Generally there is some level of choice.

OK, it's a choice, but the alternative would be very unfair to the DC.

Very unfair is having no food at all. Not whether you have to wait for a table in Sainsbury's cafe. You are making a choice for you, for convenience.