Who was unreasonable in this cafe?

[PartyRingss]

I was having a coffee earlier in a busy high street cafe and witnessed a couple of women having an argument.

It was very busy in there today and I looked up when I heard raised voices. Woman 1 was sat down at a table for 4 on her own with no food or drink. Woman 2 was stood there holding a tray with food and drink on with her two smallish children (I'd say around 4/5/6 years old.)

She had obviously asked woman 1 if she could have the table as she didn't have her food/drink but was obviously told no. That's when woman 2 started raising her voice saying she shouldn't be saving tables when the cafe is so busy whilst people with their food then have nowhere to sit.

Woman 1 argued loudly "well you should have made sure you had somewhere to sit before getting your food " to which the other woman shouted "well I can't leave my kids at a table and get food!" Woman one then told her that her dh would be here in a minute and at that moment another couple offered woman 2 the other half of their table of 4 so she sat with them and pulled up a chair to sit on the end and she made comments about "selfish people."

Meanwhile woman 1 sat defiantly for 10 minutes looking out the window until her husband had been served at the counter and came with their drinks and sandwiches. When he arrived at their table a few other tables were becoming free.

Now I know it is sense sometimes to make sure you have somewhere to sit when at a cafe where you have to take a tray and help yourself to sandwiches etc and get your hot drinks and food orders at the counter. But surely when it's busy and there are several people in front of your partner at the counter then it becomes a bit selfish, especially if you sit watching people walk around with no where to sit to eat their food. Not everyone can leave someone to reserve a table such as children for instance.

Surely by the time someone has been served other tables become free like in this case. It was so awkward watching this woman be so defiant at giving up the table for someone who had food already purchased with 2 kids in tow and rather her sit crammed up with a couple of people she didn't know, especially when her husband was quite far off being served. If it's not that busy then I don't really see an issue but it was busy and the staff were rushed off their feet.

I think woman 1 was massively unreasonable!

No I don't think having/not having children makes any difference in my opinion. I wouldn't take my kids to a very busy place at lunchtime anyway (between 12 and 2.) We either go somewhere quieter, but take out sandwiches or go home or go through the McDonald's drive through

PartyRingss You’re a liar. You do have an issue with reserving seats before eating food. You have said so multiple times in multiple posts. A busy time is exactly when I would reserve a seat, not the other way around. If the place isn’t busy and there are plenty of seats why would that be the best time to reserve? It makes zero sense to do t that way. If you cannot reserve a seat for whatever reason, then that is the risk you take. I’ve done it myself.

partyringss You still havent told us where all the other people sat who were in the giant queue in front of the ladies husband.

Good grief. Is this pointless arguing still going on.

melonscoffer saving tables threads always go on forever. Bit like the queue in M&S cafe.

sparklingbrook Thanks for the heads up.Seems a waste of time and precious energy to be so het up when one could be spending the afternoon having a relaxing coffee in a cafe.

I went to Hotel Chocolat this morning on my own and had a cup of tea. There was no queue and all the tables were empty. I felt so cheated.

Yes, my parents are real sticklers for good manners and being polite but we’ve always reserved tables. I don’t think of it as bad manners to a) bag a table if you can and b) keep it (albeit let someone without a table perch there temporarily rather than cover their small children’s heads with boiling soup).

Was agreeing with Trinity, sorry that isn’t clear!

This should be thrashed out once and for all, face to face. In real life.
Perhaps you could all meet up for coffee and a bite to eat.

A busy time is exactly when I would reserve a seat, not the other way around. If the place isn’t busy and there are plenty of seats why would that be the best time to reserve?

A busy time is exactly when I wouldn't reserve a seat because it's selfish.
I might reserve a seat when it isn't busy if I'm tired or dc are or if there are things I want to do that are easier sitting down.

Quack my op clearly says I know it's sense to get somewhere to sit when at self service type cafes but when it's busy i don't agree it's a good thing to do.

Read my op again!

Woman 2 was unreasonable. I would have sent the children to save a table. Who doesn’t do that?!

I actually couldn't do it. Would be mortified if people were walking past with trays in their hands.

There really isn't much point getting your food and then not having anywhere to sit to eat it. It makes sense to get a table and then order food. It is however a bit cheeky to sit there for ten minutes not having ordered whilst waiting for husband or whoever. If I am early I order a drink.

Genuine question to the "table first" people, what do you do if you're on your own?

If I’m on my own I just hope there’s still a table when I’ve got my food and drink. I’d assess the cafe first and if there weren’t a few tables free when I would be joining the queue I would go elsewhere. I did the same when I had a small child and couldn’t get a table first.

It depends if cafe is v busy then put stuff on table and then take purse and order at counter. If it isn't that busy then don't bother.

Brogueish If I am on my own I wouldn't go in a busy cafe where you had to get your own stuff.

I would just go to one with table service.

Woman 2 was unreasonable. I would have sent the children to save a table. Who doesn’t do that?!

Literally only people on mumsnet

ferrier So if it’s busy and then you stand waiting for your food and there are no tables what do you do? If it’s a busy time I’d rather grab a table if I see one because then I’m not stranded with kids and a pushchair whilst carrying hot things. I’d rather have a table than hurt my child. Then again I’m not in that situation much as I’m always with my partner and he gets the food while I grab a table and set up the younger ones feed. I need a table for that, I’ve done it without but it’s messy and difficult.

PartyRingss It wasn’t in your original post... which is why I mentioned specifics. Maybe you could read it again? Here it is.

PartyRingss

I remember years ago when I was heavily pregnant and we went into costa coffee. I said to dh I need to sit down (I had awful spd) and as soon as I was walking to sit down, a man hurried past me and sat down where I was going to sit. He just looked at me and said "sorry but I have my drink." 🙄 I think I may have had tears in my eyes (hormonal and spd.) I can't remember what did after that but I just remember him hurrying past me to take the seat because he had his drink.

He had his drink first, you were empty handed but wanted to sit. You were annoyed that he sat down with his drink when you wanted to sit with nothing. Surely you should be supporting him as you know, he had his drink first and wanted to sit down with it. He didn’t hold a seat but waited in line first. Surely you can not argue that that was wrong? It’s what you would prefer people do.

Busted

Went to an open plan type cafe in the middle of our shopping centre today, and thought of this thread. There were several empty tables. Me and dd sat down while dh went to get our hot chocolate and cookies. They are quite slow at serving, so I knew we'd be a while. I noticed 4 tables with customers sitting, while their partners/friends were in the queue. A table for 4, with just an elderly lady drinking on her own, when she could have taken a smaller table. There was one CF man, who sat down before us, empty handed, on a smaller table, then my dh came back with our order, and his partner hadn't come back, even though technically she would have been served before dh. Well would you believe it, CF's partner came back with shopping bags, and they both left. They hadn't even bought anything at the cafe!