Who was unreasonable in this cafe?

[PartyRingss]

I was having a coffee earlier in a busy high street cafe and witnessed a couple of women having an argument.

It was very busy in there today and I looked up when I heard raised voices. Woman 1 was sat down at a table for 4 on her own with no food or drink. Woman 2 was stood there holding a tray with food and drink on with her two smallish children (I'd say around 4/5/6 years old.)

She had obviously asked woman 1 if she could have the table as she didn't have her food/drink but was obviously told no. That's when woman 2 started raising her voice saying she shouldn't be saving tables when the cafe is so busy whilst people with their food then have nowhere to sit.

Woman 1 argued loudly "well you should have made sure you had somewhere to sit before getting your food " to which the other woman shouted "well I can't leave my kids at a table and get food!" Woman one then told her that her dh would be here in a minute and at that moment another couple offered woman 2 the other half of their table of 4 so she sat with them and pulled up a chair to sit on the end and she made comments about "selfish people."

Meanwhile woman 1 sat defiantly for 10 minutes looking out the window until her husband had been served at the counter and came with their drinks and sandwiches. When he arrived at their table a few other tables were becoming free.

Now I know it is sense sometimes to make sure you have somewhere to sit when at a cafe where you have to take a tray and help yourself to sandwiches etc and get your hot drinks and food orders at the counter. But surely when it's busy and there are several people in front of your partner at the counter then it becomes a bit selfish, especially if you sit watching people walk around with no where to sit to eat their food. Not everyone can leave someone to reserve a table such as children for instance.

Surely by the time someone has been served other tables become free like in this case. It was so awkward watching this woman be so defiant at giving up the table for someone who had food already purchased with 2 kids in tow and rather her sit crammed up with a couple of people she didn't know, especially when her husband was quite far off being served. If it's not that busy then I don't really see an issue but it was busy and the staff were rushed off their feet.

I think woman 1 was massively unreasonable!

I wouldn’t dream of waiting half an hour in a cafe, even if I didn’t have dams with me. Table service would likely be quicker than that.
Five - ten minute wait in a cafe tops.

The establishment needs to lay down ground rules. Table then order, or order then table then manage them.
Although I’m never sure how to reserve when on my own particularly in summer, does one leave a shoe, or top or perhaps a lock of hair?

does one leave a shoe

Woman 2 was cf imo, I would have done exactly the same if I was woman 1.

If woman 1 wasn't ordering and had nobody in the queue then fair enough, but she did, and therefore had every right to a table.

Would you still think it was ok if the queue was around 25-30 minutes, as it was in IKEA on Monday,?

I'd wait 25-30 minutes for food in a restaurant, I certainly wouldn't stand in a cafe queue for that long!

If you're daft enough to do that for some bog standard IKEA cafe food, then eating it stood in a corner should fit right in with the ambience!!

I wouldn’t dream of standing in a queue for 25 minutes for food anyway, especially not somewhere like Ikea!

I so agree. Why would anyone wait that long?

When my kids were small I tended to avoid lunch out when places were rammed like that. I remember taking dd to M&S cafe because she liked the Percy pig biscuits but I always preferred a local garden centre one because they loved the little trays in there with the sections in to put their food, and they did lovely homemade soup! My mother likes M&S but I tend to avoid it unless I'm with her, I much prefer to get a take out sandwich and sit on the bench outside

I've sat in my car before in a paid car park to each my lunch if it's too cold outside . Not often but if I've paid for a ticket and it's still got half an hour on, it makes no difference if I'm sat in the car or on the bench next to it because my car would still be there.

People do seem weirdlehappy to wait in mega long queues in cafes of chain stores.
There's generally an independent not far away with better food, better, faster service and a shorter queue.

*weirdly

I've often looked at the queue in ikea and thought na! I'm do recall waiting in it though with ex dh years ago with our dc. It wasn't too bad, it's probably just more the sight of the long queue that puts me off. Food was not worth the wait though!

Woman 2 was unreasonable, woman 1 was just sitting their minding her own business waiting for her DH - nobody should harass anyone else over a table in a cafe ffs. Woman 2 sounds like she was being very rude and entitled especially if others around noticed what was going on.

Woman 2 will have no doubt learned a lesson. Why buy food in a busy cafe if you have nowhere to sit to eat it?

From now on she will sit her kids at the table and then go and queue for food - just like most parents

The convention in M&S cafés is to order first and then find a table. In a different café, woman 2 might have been unreasonable but here, it was woman 1 who was.

I'm sure women 1 & 2 would be surprised they have a thread of people talking about their encounter yesterday

Whether you would wait that long in a queue isn't really the point though, is it?

Assuming there are queues that long regardless of whether or not you would stand in it, is it acceptable to reserve a table for 25-30 minutes?

It is the point though really because you surely know if your daft enough to queue for that long that it’s going to be busy so getting a seat may be an issue! It seems even dafter to stand in a queue for that long and not be pretty sure you have a seat at the end really!

No, I wouldn’t because I wouldn’t wait half an hour for food in a self service style place. The whole point of those is to get something to eat quiclpkly isn’t it?

I give up.
Assuming some people will wait that long - and the queue would indicate that people would - is acceptable to reserve a table for half an hour?
The whole thread is about whether it is acceptable to send one of your party to reserve a seat before the food has been bought. The general consensus seems to be that yes, this acceptable. So I asked the question is there a time limit on how long a table should be reserved.
Saving people should not wait in a long queue, should not eat in chain cafes or should go to a independent cafe instead is not answering the question, is it?

cathf Yes it is acceptable. The waiting time makes no difference. I choose to get a seat before getting my food so time woodnt matter, not that I would wait that long anyway. Anyway, who actually knows how long a queue will take? I’d rather have a seat than wait half an hour to find there is nowhere to sit and I’m left standing there like an idiot, unable to eat and with children who I could end up burning with hot food whilst balancing a pram and a four year old and trying to move around lots of people in the hope of a seat. I will ask to share tables, if I had to, but I wouldn’t get mad if they said no. I wouldn’t want another family sitting next to me if I’m trying to relax and enjoy a meal.

I don't have any issue in people reserving tables to be clear, it's when it's very busy and people are walking around looking for a seat once they've been served (because for whatever reason they weren't able to save a seat beforehand) and people are sat at tables who haven't yet been served pretending they can't see people with trays wanting seats.

If you walk into a cafe and it's not that busy then fine, sit down, but the issue was how busy it was so not really appropriate to reserve seats.

I don't have any issue in people reserving tables to be clear, it's when it's very busy and people are walking around looking for a seat once they've been served (because for whatever reason they weren't able to save a seat beforehand) and people are sat at tables who haven't yet been served pretending they can't see people with trays wanting seats.

I don't pretend I can't see them. I just think more fool them for not nabbing a table first.

What if they weren't in a position to nab a table first?

Woman 2 needs anger management. I'm with woman 1. If she has young kids with her would you have changed your opinion? If so, why should childless people be treated differently?

What if they weren't in a position to nab a table first?

Then they get to stand around looking gormless until once becomes available....

It never even occurred to me that people thought it was bad cafe etiquette to get a table before you eat (I always thought this was just common sense tbh) this is the only place I've heard that, I even did a Poll on another forum about it and 16-1 said they get a table first