Who was unreasonable in this cafe?

[PartyRingss]

I was having a coffee earlier in a busy high street cafe and witnessed a couple of women having an argument.

It was very busy in there today and I looked up when I heard raised voices. Woman 1 was sat down at a table for 4 on her own with no food or drink. Woman 2 was stood there holding a tray with food and drink on with her two smallish children (I'd say around 4/5/6 years old.)

She had obviously asked woman 1 if she could have the table as she didn't have her food/drink but was obviously told no. That's when woman 2 started raising her voice saying she shouldn't be saving tables when the cafe is so busy whilst people with their food then have nowhere to sit.

Woman 1 argued loudly "well you should have made sure you had somewhere to sit before getting your food " to which the other woman shouted "well I can't leave my kids at a table and get food!" Woman one then told her that her dh would be here in a minute and at that moment another couple offered woman 2 the other half of their table of 4 so she sat with them and pulled up a chair to sit on the end and she made comments about "selfish people."

Meanwhile woman 1 sat defiantly for 10 minutes looking out the window until her husband had been served at the counter and came with their drinks and sandwiches. When he arrived at their table a few other tables were becoming free.

Now I know it is sense sometimes to make sure you have somewhere to sit when at a cafe where you have to take a tray and help yourself to sandwiches etc and get your hot drinks and food orders at the counter. But surely when it's busy and there are several people in front of your partner at the counter then it becomes a bit selfish, especially if you sit watching people walk around with no where to sit to eat their food. Not everyone can leave someone to reserve a table such as children for instance.

Surely by the time someone has been served other tables become free like in this case. It was so awkward watching this woman be so defiant at giving up the table for someone who had food already purchased with 2 kids in tow and rather her sit crammed up with a couple of people she didn't know, especially when her husband was quite far off being served. If it's not that busy then I don't really see an issue but it was busy and the staff were rushed off their feet.

I think woman 1 was massively unreasonable!

Man who sits at food court table while waiting for his wife when there are empty tables available = a cheeky fucker...

Are you on glue?

Err no actually, I'm not, as I said it was a cafe. You know, just the one. It was not a food court. Thanks.

open plan type cafe...

Whoever gets table first gets table regardless of waiting for food or already has it. I wouldnt check out if people have food or are eating to decide if they deserve the table before me! If there is no table for me then tough that will teach me for taking the risk.

Ok, let me spell it out. Ground floor, waist height glass barriers with cafe logo all over, just gaps to walk in rather than doors, hence open plan. Parasols on tables with cafe logo all over, so not a free for all general seating area for non paying visitors just before lunch. Food court on level 3.

Ok, let me spell it out. Ground floor, waist height glass barriers with cafe logo all over, just gaps to walk in rather than doors, hence open plan. Parasols on tables with cafe logo all over, so not a free for all general seating area for non paying visitors just before lunch. Food court on level 3

But no one was without a seat so who cares?

I would not go and order food unless I had already got a table organised

Well that’s all very well if there are more than 1 person in your party. Almost impossible if you’re on your own, unless you can safely leave a bag or a coat to claim your seat.

Although - remembering some very rude people - sometimes people just move your stuff!

quack i'm confused because it was in my op.

You wrote:

You’re a liar. You do have an issue with reserving seats before eating food. You have said so multiple times in multiple posts. A busy time is exactly when I would reserve a seat, not the other way around. If the place isn’t busy and there are plenty of seats why would that be the best time to reserve? It makes zero sense to do t that way. If you cannot reserve a seat for whatever reason, then that is the risk you take. I’ve done it myself.

I then said yes it was in my op, which it is here:

Now I know it is sense sometimes to make sure you have somewhere to sit when at a cafe where you have to take a tray and help yourself to sandwiches etc and get your hot drinks and food orders at the counter. But surely when it's busy and there are several people in front of your partner at the counter then it becomes a bit selfish, especially if you sit watching people walk around with no where to sit to eat their food. Not everyone can leave someone to reserve a table such as children for instance.

Unless you're reading something different but that was in my op clearly saying I know it's sense to save seats in some cafe's but also said it's not on when it's very busy.

You then went on to use a quote from a post which wasn't my OP about me being pregnant in the Costa coffee and the bloke hurrying past me?

The Costa Coffee wasn't rammed, there were other seats. I went to sit on one because I was struggling with spd etc and the point of the post was the man hurried past me to sit on the seat I was heading for. It wasn't the last seat in the café, it was that he hurried past to grab it which looking back I find amusing

I have said in my op and now (again) that I don't have a problem with people sitting then ordering it's when it's rammed with people looking for seats with trays in their hand when it's not on.

So maybe read my op again?

user1494055864 But you said there were plenty of seats? No harm in sitting without food if here are plenty. If it was busy and he knew he wasn’t waiting on food and someone went without a seat then yes, he would be cheeky.

You need to be more clear and stop referring me to your origional post seeing as that wasn’t the post I questioned. I said you are a hypocrite because you cannot have it every single way for yourself and still be cross at others. Regardless of whether the place was empty or not he still had his drink and went to a seat, you cannot be angry about that or you are a hypocrite. Furthermore, if the place was so fucking empty why did you need to cry? You were in pain, granted, so walk over to the many other empty seats there was. Are you trying to sound stupid deliberately?

Sent DS7 to get us a table in subway today whilst I ordered as it was packed and thought of this thread. Although he sat at a table for 4 and I made him move to the table for 2 so hopefully I slightly reduced my CF status

I was just making a light hearted general observation about the people at the cafe today, due to reading this thread yesterday! - Nobody cares! I didn't give him the death stare or anything ffs! I then got asked if I'm on glue and get offered a biscuit! I shan't bother next time ffs.

user1494055864 Yes your post did seem lighthearted. But this thread has gotten very serious and your post just didn’t show the man in a cheeky fucker light. I’m guessing that’s why it didn’t go down well. Even I replied saying why he didn’t seem cheeky. Maybe add a next time

Quack I keep referring you to my OP because you said:

You’re a liar. You do have an issue with reserving seats before eating food. You have said so multiple times in multiple posts. A busy time is exactly when I would reserve a seat, not the other way around. If the place isn’t busy and there are plenty of seats why would that be the best time to reserve? It makes zero sense to do t that way. If you cannot reserve a seat for whatever reason, then that is the risk you take. I’ve done it myself.

You called me a liar and told me I do have a problem with people reserving seats beforehand which is why I referred you to my OP which clearly says I don't have a problem in general with people reserving seats, just when it's very busy. You then continued to tell me I didn't say that in my OP and went on to quote a post of mine which wasn't even in my OP about Costa Coffee hence why I just copied and pasted the paragragh where I did state that I don't have a problem from my OP.

I wasn't angry with the man in Costa, it was just the fact I approaching the chair and he hurried past me to grab it. It was more odd than anything as there were other chairs! Maybe he just had a fascination for that chair I didn't stand there in front of him and cry and make a fuss ffs, I remember feeling tearful but that was propbably more the hormones because I always got teary when pregnant with dd. I probably just went and sat down on another chair because it's not in my nature get arsy with someone, especially over a chair.

Anyway, after talking about the soup at the garden centre today I had an urge to go and took my dc. There were people sat at tables whilst someone got the drinks/food but it really didn't matter because there was ample seating for everyone 🤷🏼‍♀️

The only annoying thing for me now is despite my dc being 9 and 11, they are both very tall for their age, especially my dd who is quite developed so the looks I get when ordering a child's meal (sign says for under 12s) is awkward and I dread them refusing a child's meal. Would they do that? 🤔

Okay then.

👍

Oh see in this situation it’s a hard one because her husband was ordering food however it really frustrates me in cafes etc when one person is taking up a 4 table even though there is smaller tables available

I did once get into a row at Disneyland when I sat with DD at a table one woman was trying to occupy. She said her family were queuing for food. I pointed out the large number of signs around the cafe saying "Please purchase your food before taking a table." She demanded we move. I refused. Her family came over and she told them they had to find somewhere else because she had been driven off by this "rude family".

I wish more places would have those signs. Then it would be clear to everyone.

Maybe they could be like car parks and have a 'disabled/breastfeeding/elderly/pram pushing/ etc Section in the red corner - so take a seat and we'll serve you

And abled bodied people who wish to queue along with DH and 6 kids and PIL and then find a seat

I think it's just one of those things where people could just be kinder in general to each other. I've been sat on a train before in a two seater and saw a family of 4 (Mum, dad and two teenagers) sit at two tables of 4. Not using the tables, maybe they wanted to stretch their legs out and put them on the seat opposite (which they were.) I've then watched as a family get on the train with two small children and look to find a table of 4 (I know they are usually first come first served) but saw they were all taken and sat at two seats of two.

Now I'd have hooked my teenagers off the table and offered the table for 4 to the family but I suppose their attitude was "well we were here first." 😔 I found it quite astonishingly that there are people who think it's ok to take up two 4 seater tables between them and their teenage sons! But I suppose if the other family had asked that would be construed as rude/cheeky/entitled on mn!

I've been on a plane before and offered to swap seats with someone so their family could sit together. It's just basic kindness and they were grateful.

IncyWincy I was in the Sainsbury's café with our DC, our coats were on our chairs still, the DC had gone to sit with their friends while I got puddings, a CF and her DC had sat at our table!

Also, years ago, in McDonald's, same thing, getting puddings but our DC were actually sat there, a crew member starts tidying up their food and, more importantly, DS1's medication, which he can't digest food without!

When someone appears to act like a jerk I try to remind myself I don’t know their life or what kind of day they’ve had.

That said, on any ordinary day I would have shared the table. Me and my friend took a table for 4 in Costa the other day because it was the only one free at the time. Half way through our coffees a 2 opened up and then a family of four came looking for a table. We moved for them to the 2. No reason to take up more space than you need - and if you haven’t got food yet your need is less than someone else.

I do try to avoid busy cafes though. Too stressful.

There was a thread a while ago where an mner successfully managed to dislodge a table bagger, when she got served and there were no free tables. She refused to move forward to let people queuing get served until a table bagger freed up their table. Management got involved and asked table bagger to join the queue so that those in front of the queue can sit down and eat first while they were waiting to get served.
Can’t say that I’ve been in the situation myself as I tend to just find somewhere else to eat if a place is full.