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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not help my parents?

263 replies

FloralSpring · 02/04/2018 17:35

My parents have decided to go to Scotland for the week, leaving their two cats at home with no cat sitter organised. They came round for lunch today and asked if I would mind popping into feed the cats at least once this week. Baring in mind they are leaving tomorrow, and have only just sprung this on me today.

Ordinarily this would be absolutely fine but as my daughter is away with her dad for the week, I have organised work every day. They also live at least a 2 and a half hour round trip away from me (and thats excluding any traffic times!)

I explained that I would try my very best to go down there at least once and I would let them know as soon as possible if I could rearrange work. I also explained that it would have been better if they could have let me know sooner as springing it on me the day before doesn't give me enough time to re-arrange and sort things. I am self-employed so my work relies on me being reliable and keeping booked appointments.

It ended up in a massive row and with them leaving my house as my mum couldn't accept this and said I should just 'agree to go' as they do so much for me, and they would remember this next time I asked for a favour etc.

Am I being unreasonable in thinking that it's wrong to just ask someone to change work commitments and plans the day before you are due to go somewhere?!

OP posts:
Fluffycloudland77 · 02/04/2018 18:17

Those poor cats, would they want to be out all day in this weather when their elderly?.

I’d report to the rspca. It’s poor pet ownership.

thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter · 02/04/2018 18:19

They’re locking the cats out for the full week and one is elderly?!

They’ll be lucky to come back to live cats tbh - anything could happen in a week - cold weather, run over, run in with another animal/dog, locked in someone’s shed. Or is that the whole point...

Lacucuracha · 02/04/2018 18:20

What if there is a problem with the cat feeder?

OP, I get that they have been very irresponsible and presumptious, but if they do a lot for you and provide childcare (a 3 hpir round trip!), I would have said yes whilst clearly telling them next time they need to give you a week's notice next time.

I think you may have shot yourself in the foot with future childcare needs.

BlondeB83 · 02/04/2018 18:20

I would call the RSPCA if I knew who your parents were! They shouldn’t have cats! How utterly irresponsible - once a week?! WTF?! Morons IMO.

BlondeB83 · 02/04/2018 18:21

If I were you I would definitely go though! The poor cats!

jelliebelly · 02/04/2018 18:21

I know I’m missing the point of the thread but 2 and a half hours to drive 60 miles??

retirednow · 02/04/2018 18:22

Poor cats, can your brother take them in or would your landlord let you have them as it's only for a week.

NorthernKnickers · 02/04/2018 18:22

I'm appalled at their treatment of their cats 😮 You simply don't go away for a week and lock them outside!! Ever! This is cruel in the extreme...can they not see this? Even if you'd agreed immediately to the (quite frankly ludicrous!!) idea of the mid-week feed, the whole thing just stinks!!!! They'll be long gone before you even get to the mid-week feeding point, poor things 😢😢 (and I don't blame them!). I'm so angry about this...your parents need reporting to the RSPCA! 😡

Fruitcorner123 · 02/04/2018 18:22

jelliebelly its 2.5 hrs driving so 1.25 hrs one way

Popc0rn · 02/04/2018 18:23

They sound like my old neighbours from years ago; they often locked their cats outside all day/night, so they would come in through my cat flap and pss/s*t in my house, and terrorise my cat. In the end I bought one of those microchip cat flaps for over 100 quid! No wonder they can't ask any of the neighbours to pop in!

AcrossthePond55 · 02/04/2018 18:24

Does your brother live anywhere near them?

I hate to think that they would go off and leave the cats uncared-for, but if they would and your brother is able to do it, maybe the two of you could split the cost of a taxi for him rather than the cats come to harm?

falcon5 · 02/04/2018 18:24

If you freelance remote work can you do it from your parents house? So just go stay there?

Mummyoflittledragon · 02/04/2018 18:25

Does your brother live closer? Can he have your parents car? They can get a taxi to the airport or your brother drive them. Problem solved? Well short term problem anyway.

Personally if your parents treat their animals like this, I’d struggle to leave my child with them.

troodiedoo · 02/04/2018 18:26

Your parents are neglecting their cats Angry

And trying to guilt trip you. Ffs, everyone knows you ask a neighbour or a nearby friend, well in advance and have a backup plan just in case.

WeAllHaveWings · 02/04/2018 18:27

Either help because they help you a lot with childcare, or start looking for alternative childcare arrangements.

They are being unreasonable asking you last minute, but if you want to keep using them for childcare you might just have to suck it up.

thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter · 02/04/2018 18:28

Personally if your parents treat their animals like this, I’d struggle to leave my child with them.

^^ This!

BoomBoomsCousin · 02/04/2018 18:29

Your parents ABU to have dropped this on you at the last moment. Nevertheless, if you rely on them for childcare and your mum might follow through on her threat, you may need to swallow your annoyance and anger and make the drive.

TeeBee · 02/04/2018 18:29

I think you've just been called away for work for the week, haven't you OP?

EllenRipley · 02/04/2018 18:29

YANBU

Suggest you let the RSPCA know - that would likely solve yours and your parents' predicament.

myusernamewastakenbyme · 02/04/2018 18:29

As long as your parents leave plenty of dried food down and lots of bowls of water the cats will be fine...not ideal i agree but they wont starve to death....do they have any access to any shelter?

KC225 · 02/04/2018 18:30

Is it possible for you to drive down early this week, even if its after work and knock at a few doors asking for help. Buy the cat food, couple of bottles of water. Leave your name and number in case of an emergency. Offer to pay a small sum at the end if the week. At least you know the will be checked on, have fresh water and food. My 10 year old daughter and her friends woud relish a 'job/responsibility' like this - perhaps this could be your route.

Or perhaps you could drive the cats to your brothers?

LizzieDarcy1907 · 02/04/2018 18:30

That's horredously cruel to lock old cats out for a week with no food..... frankly I'd drive down there and take their cats to a rescue where they can be looked after properly.

LizzieDarcy1907 · 02/04/2018 18:30

horrendously

frasier · 02/04/2018 18:31

Would they just leave the cats if you said you couldn't go?

bonnyshide · 02/04/2018 18:31

I am horrified that they are neglecting their poor cats like this, what kind of people are they?

Everyone thinking of themselves and nobody taking the cats welfare into consideration.

Shame on you all Angry