Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 ··· 6 7 8 9 10 11

Original poster

To not help my parents?

263 replies

FloralSpring · 02/04/2018 17:35

My parents have decided to go to Scotland for the week, leaving their two cats at home with no cat sitter organised. They came round for lunch today and asked if I would mind popping into feed the cats at least once this week. Baring in mind they are leaving tomorrow, and have only just sprung this on me today.

Ordinarily this would be absolutely fine but as my daughter is away with her dad for the week, I have organised work every day. They also live at least a 2 and a half hour round trip away from me (and thats excluding any traffic times!)

I explained that I would try my very best to go down there at least once and I would let them know as soon as possible if I could rearrange work. I also explained that it would have been better if they could have let me know sooner as springing it on me the day before doesn't give me enough time to re-arrange and sort things. I am self-employed so my work relies on me being reliable and keeping booked appointments.

It ended up in a massive row and with them leaving my house as my mum couldn't accept this and said I should just 'agree to go' as they do so much for me, and they would remember this next time I asked for a favour etc.

Am I being unreasonable in thinking that it's wrong to just ask someone to change work commitments and plans the day before you are due to go somewhere?!

OP posts:

NotForSale · 04/04/2018 04:46

If you are home alone for the week why cant you stay at your parents house instead? Keeps them happy, cats fed, problem solved.

Whatshallidonowpeople · 04/04/2018 07:19

Tiredmum your cats are over fed

Gabilan · 04/04/2018 07:30

Just an idea- could you have the cats stay with you??they would have to bring them though!!

Well the parents had left by the time you wrote that, and sorted out alternative cat care.

If you are home alone for the week why cant you stay at your parents house instead? Keeps them happy, cats fed, problem solved.

We're on page 11. The problem with this has been explained. If you don't want to read 11 pages fair enough but you can highlight the OP's posts and read them.

caringcarer · 04/04/2018 08:09

It is cruel to lock cats out overnight. What if the weather is freezing again? I am pretty sure RSPCA would have something to say about it. Also cats need feeding daily more than once. If your parents can't or won't look after their pets properly then they don't deserve to have them. I would not trust people like this with my dc tbh. They need to rethink their break. They are irresponsible. It is not your problem. Say no. You need at least a weeks notice.

Lizzie48 · 04/04/2018 08:12

It's very difficult to rehome an elderly cat that is having accidents in the house. It probably has all manner of health problems, as I found when I was in the position of not being able to keep my elderly cat because she couldn't cope with living with a toddler.

It's also a problem getting insurance for an elderly cat (we of course don't know what's meant by 'elderly' in this case).

In the end it was academic, as the health problems she had meant any new owner would have a very hefty vet bill and she would be on medication for the rest of her life. The vet advised that she wouldn't cope with a move in the stressed state she was in. So I made the heartbreaking decision to have my beloved cat PTS. She had been with me through 3 house moves, and had been a very faithful companion.

So the harsh reality of the cats' situation is that rehoming the elderly cat may not be possible. And the OP can't offer, as the terms of the lease preclude ownership of pets. This cat has accidents in the house, so its presence can't be hidden.

The only possible solution I can see long-term is maybe the OP's brother taking the cats on. But the cat in question would really struggle coping with that as the brother has a cat and there would be a lot of stress involved, which would probably make the situation untenable.

You can't just say 'rehome the cats'. The reality is far too complex.

purplepansyem · 04/04/2018 10:17

Any chance you could pm me with their name and address so I can report them to the RSPCA for cruelty and neglect?

RockafellerSkank · 04/04/2018 12:55

So many people moaning about cruelty to cats for being left outside for a few days! What's on your plate, or should I say, WHO? And WHO is being fed to the cats?

halfwitpicker · 04/04/2018 12:57

Pop in

Haha

They're having a giraffe

Motoko · 04/04/2018 12:58

So many people moaning about cruelty to cats for being left outside for a few days! What's on your plate, or should I say, WHO? And WHO is being fed to the cats?

Eh?

BrendasUmbrella · 04/04/2018 13:43

So many people moaning about cruelty to cats for being left outside for a few days! What's on your plate, or should I say, WHO? And WHO is being fed to the cats?

Black beans, brown rice, kale, apple cider vinegar. Am I allowed to be concerned for them now?

Megs4x3 · 04/04/2018 16:35

So the cats are to blame for nature making them carnivores? Or humans for being omnivores? Really?

Tinkobell · 04/04/2018 18:46

@caringcarer I think a bit depends on how much those kitty's do wish to be inside. I say this as my feral cat (which used to live under a car) is a complete bloody nightmare if I keep him in overnight. Everything is laid on for him...litter tray, food etc. It can be bucketing it down outside and he will yowl incessantly at around 2am to be let out! He then starts chucking his weight around the kitchen and tries to prise doors open. When I come down and show him the open door and the storm outside - he looks up at me shocked "well you're not expecting me to go out in that are you?"...... so really I've got this outhouse with flap fitted and now that's the best I can do. TBH he's got the life of Riley. I know why the last people didn't want him!! 😂

Pugwash2005 · 04/04/2018 20:41

My parents travel to look after my children from school and including travel babysitting & feeding the kids it takes them 4 hours! I’m sure it takes your parents at least that amount of time too look after your child too.
Maybe you could stay at their house for one or two nights in order to feed the cats as your dc won’t be around to need you at home??

Flip

1 2 ··· 6 7 8 9 10 11