To tell them to mind their own business (maybe triggering? Eating stuff)

[TheParisofPeople]

Hi,

I’ve been a lurker for a while but finally took the plunge I need some advice because I don’t know which way is up anymore after Easter.

Some friends of mine are convinced i have an eating disorder, I tend to restrict my food so I don’t pig out and I do a reasonable amount of exercise. Not manically though, I’m not a gym fanatic or anything I just walk a lot. I’m a size ten so not anorexic by any means, obviously. My mum is a big fan of diets and weight loss but in a healthy way and is supportive when I want to lose. I recently broke up with someone and it knocked me a bit and I piled on some weight. Like I went up to a 12/14 really quickly and she helped me with a new diet.

So I did the blood sugar diet for a month and it was amazing I melted back to a 10, but I was cold all the time and kept feeling like I was going to pass out. Decided to eat ‘normally’ for a bit but I fast regularly too. This helps me maintain.

Haven’t shifted any more weight but because I refused to binge on chocolate at Easter and I lost quite a bit quite quickly my friends are saying they’re worried I have an ED. All because I don’t want to pig on thousands of sugary calories for no reason and I fast sometimes. Fasting is more traditional at Easter than letting yourself turn into a gross chocolate monster anyway btw. It’s a religious event ffs.

I’m getting fed up of being told to ‘just eat a burger’ by them, or watched when I eat. But I know that when people get sick or obsessed they sometimes can’t see there’s something wrong. Do I sound ok?

Thanks everyone.

I got diagnosed with panic disorder a few years ago though so I think maybe the anxiety is just a part of that.

At the very least, you sound extremely anxious around food. Sweating when you see people eating is a sign of profound anxiety. I would also be concerned about your mother’s involvement in your diet. I’m kindly asking - How old are you?

You sound very judgemental- people stuffing themselves with poisons etc. I had an eating disorder for around the years, but was always quite self aware and desperately just wanted to be about to be ‘normally’ or allow myself treats without freaking out. I don’t think it healthy to be a size 10 and feel the need to fast and demonise certain foods. No foods are ‘bad’. If I was you I’d try and concentrate on a balanced diet - and defiantly try and be less judgemental of other peoples choices.

Your panic disorder has re-focused itself around food - does this seem possible to you?

Okay, I may be going against the grain here so flame me if you need.

It sounds like OP has a lot of education about food and understands what she should eat. There is no mention of maximum of 600 cals per day or vomiting or body dysmorphia.

There are plenty of people on TV who refer to sugar as empty calories etc

It sounds like OP did a diabetes type diet to get back to a size 10 and may currently be adhering to a 5:2 type diet of eating and fasting which is recommended by Michael Moseley and used by the likes of Philip Schofield.

Sounds quite sensible and wish I had the willpower to do this.

However, OP, one thing - are you scared to eat chocolate or simply aware of it's high calorie/low nutritional value content?

If you are "scared" or "worried" about a food then you may have issues.

Your body does react very badly to sugar - it throws off its glucose prediction processes and releases an excess of insulin, which isn't a million miles off any medical definition of 'poison'.

I also feel you may have internalised a lot of the poor science that is flying around about food and nutrition. Have you been reading a lot on the internet? It may help you to be a bit more critical of the agenda around that.

Honestly given how reluctant people are to say ANYTHING Regarding another persons weight/diet I suspect your friends are genuine good honest friends who are WORRIED about you.

You say you're a size 10 but say nothing of your height or actual weight. Yet we know dress sizes in shops vary greatly to both extremes.

I’m in my mid twenties. My mum can maybe get a bit involved? Like she’s always giving me health magazines and so on, but she doesn’t mean anything bad by it.

Exactly, Road.

I think you need to see a doctor.

It sounds as though you are just over-thinking the subject somewhat. I'm not sure you have an actual eating disorder though. Its hard to tell from a few words on an internet thread.

I do know its easy to slip into over-thinking about food and all the issues around it because its thrown in our faces all the time by the media, from diet advice by the gov or thin slebs on the telly.

I'm not sure what you can do to free your mind though. I do have a friend who is almost 80 years old and has the same issue with food. She's wasted a lot of life years on it in my opinion. She's even turned down an offer of a Caribbean cruise due to not being able to spend time with 'all those fat people stuffing their faces and making me feel sick'.

I think the fact you fast and refer to eating chocolate as "gross" does suggest you may have some early warning signs.

I had a brush with an eating disorder in my teens, became very obsessed with food and would have probably said similar things to what you are saying. It wasn't healthy at all and i did well to avoid a full blown eating disorder, my weight dropped to 6 1/2 stone at 15, scary.

I can see why your friends are concerned. I think you need to be careful and focus on eating healthily, avoiding the fad diets and the fasting. Short term fad diets are really bad for your motabolism, they send your body into starvation mode so when you do get fed up of living on god knows what your body stores more fat just in case.

You don't have to stuff your face with unhealthy foods if you don't want to, but just keep in mind extreme diets aren't the way forward either. I'm now in my 30s and have a very healthy attitude and relationship with food, I enjoy a bit of whatever I like (without sounding like a twat I have a great figure too!). Just be careful.

You've already mentioned a good few of these

www.nhs.uk/conditions/anorexia/symptoms/

You're also grabbing onto the few posts that "agree" with you.

I guess the panic disorder could have refocused on food. I’ll think about that. The medication they put me on made me gain weight too and that pissed me off.

We have such a fucked up idea of what a healthy diet and having a healthy relationship with food is. Its seen as perfectly normal to eat Mcdonalds every week to eat half a cake, a whole tub of icecream, 6 packets of crips in one go and if you dont do these things you have an eating disorder, the worst part of mumsnet to me is the competetive overeating and then the skinny(healthy) shaming and diagnosing strangers with eating disorders.

If I can’t exercise I will admit I get panicky then as well

yes to you chocolate doesn't have anything nutritional to it.but sometimes food can be enjoyed because its tastes delicious.with balance this too is ok.it doesn't have to be doing our bodies good.mentally to enjoy an easter egg is great too!
you sound so judgemntal and unkind.
and odnt no bout eds if you say "not anoericic at size 10" you can be any size.including size 10.u don't have to be on deaths starved door to be anorexic.this is tooo often made horrendous mistake.of the illness.

Exactly upside, but pointing this out is ‘judgemental’ 😂

I had people concerned because I changed my diet and limited my take away to 1 a week and cooked dinner the other 6 nights. I don’t always even have 1 a week. I cut out the sugary foods and chocolate i snacked on constantly and cut cans of fizzy drinks.

I’ve lost 3 stone and kept it off. The first stone I lost quickly. I still have Chocolate when I fancy it. Occasionally a can of full fat coke. Just it’s in moderation.

You sound obsessed about food though which is concerning, especially the negatives around Easter and fasting to remain a size 10- how often do you starve yourself?

I eat 3 meals a day and sometimes snacks. Sometimes I have dessert not always only if I actually want it not just out of habit like it used to be.

Yea I think an HONEST chat about all this with GP is in order.

So you want to be judgy about what other people eat ("gross sugar monster"), but you're fucked off when your friends are judgy about what you eat (or don't eat), but you think your double standards are ok because your way is better? Is that right? Have you thought about minding your own fucking business, as well as your friends minding theirs?

and having such judgemnt o body image and foods is actually part of the reason the obesity is like it is.such skewered thinking on food.self love/loathing to do with it.

Kate - Food is fuel no? If it’s not doing the cells good why eat it? That’s literally what it’s for

Oh you poor thing.

Tis awful to have such an obsession that it rules your life.

Is this how you intend to spend the rest of your life?