To say "F*** you, MIL"

[MonsterInLaw]

My MIL is a crashing snob, a racist and has absolutely no class.

Last summer she gave me a bottle of wine (I work in wine trade and know a lot about it) which she had seen written up in a paper and was in limited supply at Waitrose. £20 for a fairly ordinary Provence rosé, but it had a celebrity wine maker, etc etc. Wayyyyy overpriced. She said to me "I'd like you to have this for a special occasion"

I fell out with MIL last month, she went too far once too often. DH won't talk about it and he and our kids (older teens) are still visiting her as normal. Nothing's changed except I won't see her.

DH doesn't drink rosé. He's gone to work today and I'm watching films on Netflix. Found a gorgeous film called 'Dough' about a Jewish baker who hires a Muslim apprentice. MIL would disapprove 😀 AIBU to drink the "special" rosé while I watch a film that rightly celebrates the diversity of British culture.

(PS I am a second generation immigrant on my dad's side. MIL hates me for that too)

Being a racist snob isn’t nice but I can’t see how her giving you a bottle of wine was intentionally rude?

By all means drink it, esp if DH doesn’t like rose. Enjoy your film

Drink away. Seems fitting to crack open the rose

YANBU. I too, have bigoted in-laws (FIL more than mil) who think the daily mail is right about everything. I’m liberal and try to tolerate their views but sometimes I just have to vent... I leave the guardian everywhere if they come to my house and also make sure the tv shows something diverse and modern!
Some people chill with age, some don’t.

Your mil sounds like hard work. I feel for ya, sister x

Hmmm. You sound like a massive snob. Sorry.

I'm guessing that giving wine to someone who works in the wine trade is a bit of a thoughtless gift. And one of the best things about leaving DP, for me, is that I no longer have to buy the DM.

Why did you fall out? Surely not over wine? Give us the back story. No drip feeding. Come on!
I like the sound of that film by the way.

Are you able to lower your self to her class to drink the rose' ?

To be honest you sound like the snobby one. She knows you are interested in wine, she has read an article about what is suppose to be a special wine and she has given it to you as a gift.
That actually sounds like a nice thing to do. Unless you can give more examples you are coming across as thinking that you are superior to her.

I mean, I get it. She's a snob and a racist but what was the push too far?

Sounds like she was trying to be nice even if she is a little pretentious. I think lots of people are a bit pretentious about wine even if they don't know much about it. It's cringeworthy but ultimately not badly intentioned usually. I'm sure there's much more to this than what you've said in your post especially if she really is racist (I have one of these in my family too, it comes from terrible ignorance) but the comments about wine seem a bit unnecessary and unkind. I'd focus on the things she has done that really are bad! But yes enjoy it now if you want to.

Which one of you is the crashing bore, snob and racist?

You have already started the wine right? I think it sounds like she made a special effort to get you a 'good' bottle and you are being ungrateful.

You havent explained anything that justifies your response...so far.

Funny post op

Off topic, but agree, truly excellent film

Oh it wasn't rude. She isn't 'rude' to me, just says things like "oh it's all in your head", or "you seem to have been reading the wrong media" (when I didn't support UKIP) or "thank god for our lads in the war or we'd all be German" (half my family is German). She gave it to me as a symbol of "I can afford these luxuries so therefore I'm upper class and don't you forget it".

(She has excess cash due to selling her house and down-sizing considerably. She won't save, and will run out in a year or so and expect her son to help out but in the meantime is behaving like Hyacinth Bucket)

She got you a bottle of wine? What a bitch.

Ok. So there's a crashing bore in the family? Don't worry op I'm fairly sure you'll be forgiven!

Sorry snob not bore! Silly me!!

Just read your update - and you call her snobby - phew.

I have to say she really doesn't sound that bad. You would not be able to put up with the racist members of my family at all if that's the worst she's ever said to you.

She sounds a bit foolish but you are coming across as a bit nasty.

You sound jealous of her wealth etc.

You sound like you might actually be more alike than you think.
Sensitive.
Insecure.
Lonely.
Want to be loved but not sure how to find it.
The bottle of wine was a potential bridge from an older version to a younger version.

Well aren't you charming.