To say "F*** you, MIL"

[MonsterInLaw]

My MIL is a crashing snob, a racist and has absolutely no class.

Last summer she gave me a bottle of wine (I work in wine trade and know a lot about it) which she had seen written up in a paper and was in limited supply at Waitrose. £20 for a fairly ordinary Provence rosé, but it had a celebrity wine maker, etc etc. Wayyyyy overpriced. She said to me "I'd like you to have this for a special occasion"

I fell out with MIL last month, she went too far once too often. DH won't talk about it and he and our kids (older teens) are still visiting her as normal. Nothing's changed except I won't see her.

DH doesn't drink rosé. He's gone to work today and I'm watching films on Netflix. Found a gorgeous film called 'Dough' about a Jewish baker who hires a Muslim apprentice. MIL would disapprove 😀 AIBU to drink the "special" rosé while I watch a film that rightly celebrates the diversity of British culture.

(PS I am a second generation immigrant on my dad's side. MIL hates me for that too)

She sounds like she makes more effort with you than you do with her!

Oh dear. Someone gave me a bottle of wine recently. I thought it meant they liked me.

Clearly the alleged racism is awful, but your lack of gratitude for her kind gift is also pretty shit

Fuck her.

Get into a big debate with her and stump her. Make her feel embarrassed!

I’m allergic to cows milk. My mil bought be milk choc for Christmas

I’ve been allergic the entire time she’s known me. Dh ate it.

It sounds like a peace offering actually.

Haha! I knew I'd be labelled the snob 😀

I work in the trade but I never ever talk about wine unless someone else brings it up. I drink all kinds - cheap and expensive. MIL buys Decanter magazine, doesn't read the articles but looks at the recommendations so she can sound knowledgeable. She only ever watches sky news and bbc24 so she can quote news items at you but then can't back up anything with fact because she doesn't know any. She thinks I'm jealous of her because she has a degree (!) It's a teaching degree from 1962. My DH doesn't have a degree either and has done quite ok. And my own mother has two first degrees and a masters, and I'm definitely not jealous of her!!!

We fell out on Mothers Day - she came round, DH offered to cook a roast. I did most of it (willingly, I love to cook). She started on about her fave subject - education and how the Tories are doing such a great job. I disagreed and tried to explain some of the negatives. She told me "you're deluded. It's all in your head".

I had that morning been reading a piece by Karen Ingala Smith about domestic violence. And also some stuff about the ways men make women feel it's their fault. So being told it was "all in my mind" triggered something in me and I told her she was a bigoted and horrible person and I'd had enough. And flounced out.

Talked to my mum the next day. MIL had emailed her straight away to tell her talk some sense into me. And that I obviously am bipolar and need medication. (I'm not!) Thankfully my mum told her she wasn't getting involved.

The wine is nice but deffo not worth £20

You sound like peas in a pod (or petit pois in a pod - I'm not common).

Anyway obviously she was unreasonable giving you a bottle of wine - what was she thinking the mad bitch ?

LOL at some of the responses! OP - I'm squarely with you - crack open the wine and enjoy.

A well intentioned (if rubbish) gift doesn't cancel out a fuck ton of racist nonsense.

Dough is a brilliant film, we stumbled across it on Netflix with the view that even if it's rubbish, it's only two hours of our life but we loved it!

Is this a reverse? She got you a bottle of wine she’d read good reviews on and you take it as an insult because it doesn’t meet your high standards? That’s very ungracious behaviour. Someone with class would accept it with good grace, whether it was too notch or oven cleaner grade. Very déclassé to sneer at a gift. Class in that sense is about grace and manners, not refined tastes - dont you understand that?

What exactly has she said that is racist? She has a right to hold different political beliefs to you - UKIP aren’t someone I would ever vote for but some of my family do and I just don’t debate politics with them.

Sorry OP but on what you’ve said so far I’m not getting an impression of her being he sole issue.

OP you come across as a clown

I am so very grateful you are not my DIL!

You sound like you belong together!

It's a teaching degree from 1962

Oh dear, a teaching degree? from 1962? What a try hard

MIL buys Decanter magazine, doesn't read the articles but looks at the recommendations so she can sound knowledgeable. She only ever watches sky news and bbc24 so she can quote news items at you but then can't back up anything with fact because she doesn't know any.

I'm guessing she has very different recollections and interpretations of the conversations that have led you to these conclusions.

Very thoughtful and sensible post from hypermice above.
OP, you do seem to be coming across as ungracious and spiky.

The more you post, the worse you seem

I too think that you're willy-nilly applying labels to your MIL that you could apply to yourself too.

I think you should give your MIL a wide berth for BOTH your sakes. You don't get on. Quite frankly I wouldn't get on with you either. Perhaps I also wouldn't get on with your MIL but I only have your posts to go on.

Stop creating drama; leave your MIL alone and she'll leave you alone no doubt.

I'm BAFFLED what was wrong with the Wine ?

Are you already drunk?

Your posts are all embarrassing tbh.

I work in the trade but I never ever talk about wine unless someone else brings it up
Well we didn't bring it up

She thinks I'm jealous of her because she has a degree (!) It's a teaching degree from 1962...MIL buys Decanter magazine, doesn't read the articles but looks at the recommendations so she can sound knowledgeable. She only ever watches sky news and bbc24 so she can quote news items at you but then can't back up anything with fact because she doesn't know any.

Hm. You say she looks down on you?