To say "F*** you, MIL"

[MonsterInLaw]

My MIL is a crashing snob, a racist and has absolutely no class.

Last summer she gave me a bottle of wine (I work in wine trade and know a lot about it) which she had seen written up in a paper and was in limited supply at Waitrose. £20 for a fairly ordinary Provence rosé, but it had a celebrity wine maker, etc etc. Wayyyyy overpriced. She said to me "I'd like you to have this for a special occasion"

I fell out with MIL last month, she went too far once too often. DH won't talk about it and he and our kids (older teens) are still visiting her as normal. Nothing's changed except I won't see her.

DH doesn't drink rosé. He's gone to work today and I'm watching films on Netflix. Found a gorgeous film called 'Dough' about a Jewish baker who hires a Muslim apprentice. MIL would disapprove 😀 AIBU to drink the "special" rosé while I watch a film that rightly celebrates the diversity of British culture.

(PS I am a second generation immigrant on my dad's side. MIL hates me for that too)

Morrison's? Wow you're posh. We go to Lidl!

@MonsterInLaw so you don't like her because your political views differ? Fuck me if I disliked everyone who disagreed with my political views, I'd be very lonely.

Id hazard a guess that you just don't like her, but you're dressing it up with lots of excuses. I didn't like my MIL either. And she didn't like me. Job done.

OP I think drinking the wine while watching a movie MIL wouldn't approve of is a brilliant two fingers to your MIL without her knowledge, it'll give you satisfaction & she'll be the none the wiser

Fairies

Op you could always spit it out and tell her it tastes like socks and boiled pants or summat. Isn’t that the correct way to sample wine..?

The wine wasn't a peace offering! I have never said anything rude or untoward to her in 22 years until last month! I have helped her de clutter (twice!), move house twice, unblocked her loo, written letters to the council on her behalf, taken her to doctor and hospital when DH is away, cooked her hundreds of meals, entertained her relations in our house, and helped negotiate her house sale. Only because I married her son and thus took on his family. (I also cared for his dad - they're divorced - with dementia for two years, and she hates me for that because it meant she didn't get as much attention)

She's a snob in the same way Hyacinth Bucket is - says random words in a French accent, makes sure we know that the rocket salad is 'organic, from Marks and Spencer', etc. And has no class - eg always leaves the price labels on gifts, invites other guests to start eating in my house even while I'm still on my feet serving food, always keeps her coat on indoors, and loves to blame all the ills of the world on foreigners and immigrants "they call it London-stan now"

I must say though, having got it off my chest with her, I feel so much happier! Like a weight off my shoulders. I never ever ever have to try to make conversation with her, eat with her or listen to her witter on about how misunderstood Mr Trump is

You sound like a fucking nightmare....weird, odd, pretentious and strange.

To be fair, a woman getting a teaching degree in 1962 was still a hard won thing. Hats off to her!

Why do so many people dislike their MIL and fall out with them!??? Life is too short. God it would take a lot for me to fall out with someone in my family, I don’t know of anyone who has fallen out with their MIL but on here it seems so common.

You sound like half of the problem here.

Aha the infamous drip feed!

I can’t see the problem, I really can’t. Sounds like six of one and half a dozen of th other.

Have an Easter biscuit

It's a teaching degree from 1962. In 1962 you didn't need a degree to teach. You either got a degree in the subject of your choice (and in later years followed it up with a 1 year teaching qualification, but that may not have been around in 1962) or you did a 3-year non-degree teaching qualification.

OP, a PP was right. Every time you post an update you come across worse. Keeping her coat on indoors? How does that mean she has no class? Maybe your house is just cold. Genuinely you need to reflect on your own behaviour.

Your MIL emailed your DM?!

Both of you sound far too over-involved. And far too fond of dramatics. Just drink the wine when it suits and hush.

Ok so she's a brexit-voting, UKIP, supporting daily mail reader?

There's a lot of them about! But your post is nasty, and you subsequent posts seem to be trying to justify your attack.

What difference does it make the year she got her degree? That’s related to her age not her intelligence.

You do sound very judgey. A lot of older generations take different political views. Just smile and nod like everyone else.

Maybe she isn’t as well read as you or reads different things but so what.

Give the poor woman a break.

How dare she give you a bottle of wine. So rude.

I admire her for getting her degree - wasn't easy for girls to go to uni in her day. But why would I be jealous of it?? I have no desire to teach or to study further. I had the opportunity and didn't fancy it. And I'm doing quite ok for myself.

And yes, she thought she was being generous about the wine. And I accepted graciously, as I always would with any gift. This was supposed to be a lighthearted AIBU that I am drinking her expensive wine while watching a brilliant film about Jews and Muslims doing well for themselves in Britain!!!

Your description of the film sounds as if you try too hard to be non racist, like you need to prove something. It maybe that is what irritates your mother-in-law?

And has no class - eg always leaves the price labels on gifts, invites other guests to start eating in my house even while I'm still on my feet serving food, always keeps her coat on indoors

That is absolutely nothing to do with class. You seem very preoccupied with idea of ‘classy’ behaviour but do not seem to understand what socially gracious behaviour is versus what you think ‘should’ be done.

Her comments on foreigners are off colour, and would be politely picked up on in my house. No need for that kind of thing.
If she supports trump that’s her business. Again not a political stance I’d have but people are allowed different opinions. I don’t expect people to share my political or social views and I have friends and family who have differing views to me. Some I know will enjoy a good argument about it with no hard feelings and others I know to leave the subject well alone.

What’s really behind all this?

invites other guests to start eating in my house even while I'm still on my feet serving food

Where I come from that's good manners - eat the food while it's hot so you enjoy it at its best. Hyacinth Bucket would be the one insisting no-one tasted a morsel until the hostess had sat down.

I think you suffered a 'lightheartedness' fail op!

But if you want to drink the wine now, just drink it.

I don't see the big deal. Although it's not really rose weather.