To say "F*** you, MIL"

[MonsterInLaw]

My MIL is a crashing snob, a racist and has absolutely no class.

Last summer she gave me a bottle of wine (I work in wine trade and know a lot about it) which she had seen written up in a paper and was in limited supply at Waitrose. £20 for a fairly ordinary Provence rosé, but it had a celebrity wine maker, etc etc. Wayyyyy overpriced. She said to me "I'd like you to have this for a special occasion"

I fell out with MIL last month, she went too far once too often. DH won't talk about it and he and our kids (older teens) are still visiting her as normal. Nothing's changed except I won't see her.

DH doesn't drink rosé. He's gone to work today and I'm watching films on Netflix. Found a gorgeous film called 'Dough' about a Jewish baker who hires a Muslim apprentice. MIL would disapprove 😀 AIBU to drink the "special" rosé while I watch a film that rightly celebrates the diversity of British culture.

(PS I am a second generation immigrant on my dad's side. MIL hates me for that too)

To be honest OP your name here suits you to an absolute tee.

What an idiot, failing to properly read the peer-reviewed articles in Decanter magazine.

I did genuinely laugh out loud at this.

And would the MIL honestly disapprove of a film about a friendship between a Jew and a Muslim? Really? She'd find that offensive?

I really like the sound the sound of your MIL.

You, on the other hand, sound like an opinionated bigot.

Shame on you.

I don't see the problem here. Drink the wine if you want. I don't see what the price has to do with it.

how do you/can you perceive the symbol of her gift. A gift is a gift, & unless you know someone well or talk about their reasoning of choice behind a particular gift how do you "know" what she was thinking it to mean.

I also think you are both quite similar - your comment of "Last summer she gave me a bottle of wine (I work in wine trade and know a lot about it) " sounds pretty know it all.
Maybe just accept the gift, drink it & have a more reserved relationship with her in the future - it really doesnt sound like much to get in a tizz over.

I love AIBU!

Everyone getting frothy about anonymous people's issues 😀 I'm sitting here grinning.

I know nothing about teaching degrees, let alone from the 60s. She told me that's what she had, and I know she graduated the same time as FIL, which was 62. Why would I ask further questions? She taught for a few years so I presume she was qualified.

Our house is not cold. And she keeps her coat on everywhere she goes. She tells the kids "it's a Yorkshire thing" when they ask her why she does slightly strange things. So then they ask us if that's really true. We say "if that's what granny says then it must be so"

For 22years I have smiled and nodded! I finally snapped and am so bloody glad I did because I never have to put up with her again.

Is Decanter Magazine that one where you get a small piece of glass with each copy and after 750,000 issues you can build your own decanter ?

Everyone getting frothy about anonymous people's issues

Why did you post about it, several times, if you both expected and wanted nobody to give a shit?

So you're laughing and have a bottle of wine and a film? Why don't you just go and enjoy them?

And she keeps her coat on everywhere she goes

Well then it's not personal!

Just drink your wine, you are the expert after all

Your MIL was over for lunch on Mother's Day and told you in a conversation about Mother's Day:

""you're deluded. It's all in your head".

In return you "told her she was a bigoted and horrible person and I'd had enough." And flounced out.

And now you won't speak to her ever again?

You sound properly, properly unhinged.

I expect it is a huge relief she doesn't have to see the person who invited her round on mother's day then called her a horrible person.

I don't understand quite what your problem is?

OP,

Good for you .....

Sorry, not a conversation about Mother's Day. A conversation about Education.

Which 'triggered' you because you'd READ something about DV (I've had two years of therapy for complex PTSD caused by childhood sexual abuse, btw, you're talking out of your arse and being hugely offensive to use that term).

These types of threads always make me cringe. The sort of "AIBU to LTB because he brought me a Yorkie instead of a Mars bar!?!" or "AIBU to relax on the couch with a family-sized bag of Maltesers because the kids are out?"

Apparently according to you, it would be something of a massive 'fuck-you' to your MiL if you watch a film on Netflix whilst drinking wine

Control yourself, if you're not careful next thing you know you'll be mountain-biking down Kilimanjaro.

I expect your MIL is bloody glad that she doesn’t have to put up with you either.
There is nothing lighthearted about your OP or any of your other posts.

People like you OP honestly after rtft back make me dread being a mother in law one day..

Who's frothing? It's not me drinking wine that I'm ambivalent about. I'm also not so classless as to accept gifts from people I don't care for. We're all different

:)

"I love AIBU!

Everyone getting frothy about anonymous people's issues 😀 I'm sitting here grinning. "

We're not getting frothy.

You're telling us who you are, and we're responding.

I didn't say I was an expert, just that I work in the trade. She doesn't like the idea that I might know more about something than her, because I haven't been to Uni and therefore 'don't deserve' to know more. So she tries desperately hard to bolster herself by reading stuff like Decanter (which I find very dull and would be loads better if they gave you a piece of glass every issue) and then buying wine to impress me when we go round. She doesn't open it or offer it to me, just wants me to see it so I know how very well-off and sophisticated she is. And then occasionally she gives me a bottle and makes a big deal about it being for a special occasion. DH doesn't drink rosé (or white, or eat creamy food, or cheese, but she gives him those every time anyway) so it's mine, all mine

How wonderful for you

Well I think you should be a bit more greatful she fucking tries to be honest.. Get over yourself. What are you trying to prove?

And she keeps her coat on everywhere she goes. She tells the kids "it's a Yorkshire thing"

I am a fellow Yorkshire lass and this has made me smile.