DH won't let me have croupy 3yo in our bed

[jamoncrumpets]

3yo has a croupy cough, which he gets from time to time. He usually has a bad attack, I give him a few hits of an inhaler, and it gradually tails off over time. I usually keep him in bed with me overnight to monitor.

Tonight he's started with a croupy cough and DH immediately said 'right, not again, he's staying in his bed' and took DS out of our bed, where he was calming down watching YouTube videos on my phone, and into his own room where I can hear him coughing and wheezing. He told me I was being hysterical to let DS stay with me and that it was 'all about my health anxiety'. He's currently in DS's room with him.

I want DS in with me. I want to keep an eye on him. But DH keeps shutting me down. I don't know how to stand up to him over this.

for you jamon

DS is calm. He sounds a bit like Darth Vader, but he's calm. No chest sucking. I'm going to try and sleep now.

I just can't believe that any sane adult would throw a hissy fit over a poorly 3 year old coming into their parents bed.

Your dh is an abusive arse. I deal differently with sleeping as I always find no one gets any sleep bed sharing

But the resistance you are getting is shocking. Doesn't kill anyone to sleep on the sofa or in the kids bed of they have been moved ... we have all done it.

I hope you have a peaceful and uneventful night

I hope you both get some rest.

Simply ignore the man child you're living with.

Hope you and ds sleep well!

You’ve done the right thing.

I know you’re exhausted. Get through tonight as best you can. But he is not a kind, caring or supportive husband or father. Please think about this carefully - do you really want to bring DS up with an abusive tosser and for him to think that’s normal?

If/when you decide you’ve had enough there is so much support on here that it’s unreal. Tap into it, the help is here if you want to take it

You have quite a problem with your husband.

But you did the right thing, when my dd was small the gp sent her to hospital when she had croup she was on a nebuliser the whole day.

The dc were always in bed with me if they needed to be and that’s still the case now that they’re teenagers if they need me.

Oh thank goodness. I’ve just read the whole thread and was about to comment that you should just pick him up and bring him in with you. Fuck your bullying controlling DH and whatever he might say.

I’m so glad he’s in with you now. I hope he’s ok tonight. When he’s better, please have a long think about whether you want to stay in this relationship.

FWIW, i think bringing your children into bed when they’re ill is totally and completely normal. I cosleep with mine when they’re small anyway, but when older DD (now 5) is poorly she still comes in with me. Including when I was heavily pregnant. When she had chicken pox she stayed in my bed for the worst 3/4 nights of it. DH moved into the spare room so he got a decent sleep and was refreshed enough to take over in the day and let me nap. I found I was naturally waking when DD’s temp was spiking during the night, even before she woke, so I was able to adjust clothing or give medication to help with the temp. It’s instinctive; we want to keep our children close when they are ill for good reason!

Well done OP
You can deal with your sulky dh another day. Hope you have a good night

DS just said 'Waffle Doggy' in his sleep, so I think he's having CBeebies dreams

Hope you get some rest op

Prop up the little man and vic's if you have it back and front smeared liberally
Croup is a bastard hope he's better soon 💐

Well done, I hope you manage to get some sleep.

DS just said 'Waffle Doggy' in his sleep, so I think he's having CBeebies dreams

Bless him. Darth Vader and CBeebies...lol.

If he needs urgent medical attention in the night you can call ambulance. Hope all settles. Drink making oh unreasonable, he should come to gp for advice.

HI OP
It doesn't matter what your partner thinks or says, nor MN/ internet commenters.
What matters is doing what is right for you tonight and you instinctively feel you need to be close to your child.
If something happened I have a feeling your partner might not find himself responsible.
If your child has any breathing distress or difficulty he needs to be seen by a doctor.

Sleep well OP, sweet dreams to you both, and may the broken springs of the pull out bed keep your husband awake all night.

Don't understand why guest bed can't go in child's room

Your dh is your problem here. I wouldn't want to leave any child in his 'care'.

Bless you. What a crap situation. I would want him in bed with me too I don't see the problem. Hope he feels better soon. My mum would always take us in her room when we were poorly. It never made a difference to us being able to sleep in our own rooms once we were well and it didn't make a difference to dad either ! He would just hop on our bed

Your husband does know that adults, let alone children, die of asthma etc right! Just remind him of Stuart Baggs from the apprentice and Charlotte Coleman’s from 4 Weddings and a funeral. Your are worried for a valid reason. I very rarely have my child in with me but when there is wheezing you need to keep them safe.

Glad he's in with you. Hope you get some sleep and he gets better overnight

If any of my DC are poorly they're in with us. DH now tends to sleep on sofa as they're getting bigger.

In future or perhaps tomorrow if he is not better is there anyway you can put DS bed in your bedroom. That way he's close to you but you still have your bed ? We have done that before.

Whenever the DC are sick they're in with us if that's where they want to be (or where we need them to be). Only once has DH removed a DC from our bed, and that was when DS had already vomitted on 4 sets of sheets and he took DS down to the living room and he slept with DS on the sofa instead.

Glad your DS is happily dreaming of Cbeebies. Your DH is an arse.