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AIBU?

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Original poster

DH won't let me have croupy 3yo in our bed

241 replies

jamoncrumpets · 31/03/2018 22:22

3yo has a croupy cough, which he gets from time to time. He usually has a bad attack, I give him a few hits of an inhaler, and it gradually tails off over time. I usually keep him in bed with me overnight to monitor.

Tonight he's started with a croupy cough and DH immediately said 'right, not again, he's staying in his bed' and took DS out of our bed, where he was calming down watching YouTube videos on my phone, and into his own room where I can hear him coughing and wheezing. He told me I was being hysterical to let DS stay with me and that it was 'all about my health anxiety'. He's currently in DS's room with him.

I want DS in with me. I want to keep an eye on him. But DH keeps shutting me down. I don't know how to stand up to him over this.

OP posts:
RebelRogue · 31/03/2018 22:30

When DD is poorly and wakes up crying or coughing or whatever,first thing DH asks if i want him to go sleep on the sofa so we have room.

endofthelinefinally · 31/03/2018 22:30

Your husband is wrong.
Croup is very frightening.
Your chikd needs to be kept calm and safe. If that means being in with you then so be it.
Why cant your H sleep in ds's bed?

CheerfulYank · 31/03/2018 22:30

Go get him and tell your husband to get to fuck.

Ask him if he's really prepared to have his hugely pregnant wife try to sleep uncomfortably on the floor because he's being a dick.

goodbyeeee · 31/03/2018 22:31

But his Dad is with him isn't he?

I do understand. I'm particularly anxious over health issues with my youngest DC. But my DP often goes in with him if he's poorly rather than have him in our bed where I get all hyper-vigilant and everyone's sleep gets disturbed. My DP would be more sensitive in the way he expressed it mind you.

Original poster
jamoncrumpets · 31/03/2018 22:31

Watching videos on my phone was keeping him calm April. A panicking toddler with croup is dangerous.

OP posts:
Sirzy · 31/03/2018 22:32

Sod who sleeps where. If his chest is sucking in then he needs medical assistance

Idontdowindows · 31/03/2018 22:32

Is his father with him in his room?

stitchglitched · 31/03/2018 22:32

Seriously go and get him. He's little, poorly and you want him with you. You shouldn't have to sit up in a chair or sleep on the floor when heavily pregnant! Tell your DH to fuck off. If anyone tried to tell me I couldn't sleep with my unwell child I'd be furious.

Nsbgsyebebdnd · 31/03/2018 22:33

I would keep him in with me too and have done when I'm worried about their health. Althernatuvely, is their room to have his mattress beside you in your room?

frazzledtired · 31/03/2018 22:33

Have you got him yet? Just go and get him.

Original poster
jamoncrumpets · 31/03/2018 22:33

It was Sirzy, it's stopped since I have him the inhaler and calmed him down

OP posts:
SprogletsMum · 31/03/2018 22:33

I'm guessing all the people saying they wouldn't let their dc in their bed ill or not haven't had a croupy child.
Tell dh to fuck off and get your ds. My dd gets croup a lot and dp just grabs a blanket to sleep on the sofa because he wouldn't want her to sleep alone like that.

GreenVoyage · 31/03/2018 22:33

The child isn't sleeping though, he's watching YouTube videos on a phone!

Walkingdeadfangirl · 31/03/2018 22:33

Why cant he watch videos on your phone in his own bed, or downstairs on the couch?

TolpuddleFarterOATB · 31/03/2018 22:34

When DS1 had group he certainly slept next to me all night, I actually had him propped up with my arm as his breathing was so bad.

There is no way I wouldn't have him with me in this situation. Children can go downhill quickly in these situations and you need to keep an eye on them.

(Anyone who says leave the child obviously has never had a child with croup, it is frightening.)

Tell your DH to stop undermining you and send him to the sofa.

MynameisJune · 31/03/2018 22:34

Just go and get him. Tell your DH he can sleep on the sofa if he is that bothered. If he has a cough that develops into croup he could very likely need medical attention in the night. Croup is serious, it’s not like he has a tummy ache and wants to sleep with you even though that would be fine as well in my eyes. They are still so little at 3.

Gileswithachainsaw · 31/03/2018 22:34

I'm with sirzy

Plus I don't do kids in my bed. The best thing for most illnesses is sleep. And no one sleeps squeezing into beds being kicked every five mins or overheating with parents either side

How do you take care if them in the day when everyone is up unnecessarily overnight to.

Bit on a serious not chest sucking in needs a Dr. Call 111

Original poster
jamoncrumpets · 31/03/2018 22:35

He was watching them to calm down! He was panicking and it was making his breathing more difficult. He's not watching them any more.

OP posts:
Llanali · 31/03/2018 22:35

Respectfully I think this sounds like it might be some anxiety on your part.
Do you not trust your husband to care for him? Is your husband not trying to ensure his pregnant wife sleeps well? If you are huge as you say, surely having DS in your bed would disrupt your rest?

Sirzy · 31/03/2018 22:35

Is there a spare full size bed your dh can sleep in?

Otherwise I think logistically for people to stand a chance of sleeping then getting him settled in his own bed is most sensible really. Heavily pregnant woman, three year old and husband isn’t a recipe for sleep for anyone and sleep is vital when ill.

Get his propped up, get a window open a bit if aafe and settle him to sleep

Original poster
jamoncrumpets · 31/03/2018 22:36

My husband has fucked off downstairs to finish his film with a 'don't you fucking wake him' warning.

OP posts:
Awwlookatmybabyspider · 31/03/2018 22:36

Selfish fucker. No way in he'll would my sick 3 year old be sleeping alone. They just want to snuggle into mummy when theyre not well, don't they. It sounds like you've got 2 babies to be honest.

RebelRogue · 31/03/2018 22:36

If you would or wouldn't have your kids in is neither here or there.

OP wants her poorly child in with her,she's not complaining about him being in her bed or lack of sleep or asking how to deal with it.

Do you people ever stop perfect parenting?

Original poster
jamoncrumpets · 31/03/2018 22:37

I had a window open safely, in my room.

OP posts:
Llanali · 31/03/2018 22:37

Tell your DH to stop undermining you and send him to the sofa.

So you can undermine him by assuming his surveillance and judgement isn’t as good as yours, and you get ultimate choice of who sleeps where in your house?

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