DH won't let me have croupy 3yo in our bed

[jamoncrumpets]

3yo has a croupy cough, which he gets from time to time. He usually has a bad attack, I give him a few hits of an inhaler, and it gradually tails off over time. I usually keep him in bed with me overnight to monitor.

Tonight he's started with a croupy cough and DH immediately said 'right, not again, he's staying in his bed' and took DS out of our bed, where he was calming down watching YouTube videos on my phone, and into his own room where I can hear him coughing and wheezing. He told me I was being hysterical to let DS stay with me and that it was 'all about my health anxiety'. He's currently in DS's room with him.

I want DS in with me. I want to keep an eye on him. But DH keeps shutting me down. I don't know how to stand up to him over this.

I genuinely had no words for DH when he said he was fucking off for a bath for an hour. I just said 'Do what you like, it's your house'. I don't have anything thoughtful or smart to say this morning.

Lovesagin - I know it shouldn’t but that made me laugh.

My DH is very good and would never do this bit we’ve both had the hypothetical ‘who would you save’ conversation and DS is the answer both of us gave.

Your H is a selfish wanker. I'm really glad your boy is OK. From what I've read your reaction to potentially severe breathing difficulties sounds perfectly normal - you did the right thing by your son and that's the most important thing.

I have a boy who has had croup 5 times, 4 of which needed A&E, one ambulance attendance and admission, and once he was happily at nursery at 9am and by 3pm I was holding him in resus. It can escalate extremely quickly and careful monitoring is the right thing to do

DS has eaten the ears off a chocolate bunny and is in bed with me with the iPad and the window open. I think we've both earned a lazy morning.

Awww bless him. The poor little lamb. Hows he doing in himself

I still can't get over the fact that he dragged a croupy three year old out of his mother's arms, dumped him in his cot and left him there unattended.

I'm just... fucking hell.

He's ok. A bit less bouncy than usual but not whingy or floppy. He's just tired, I think. Aren't we all?!

Poor wee guy, I’m glad he’s better this morning. If I were you I would post on the relationships board for advice. There are some very wise folk on there.

DS has ASD and has watched the theme tune from Bitz and Bob about 45 times in a row, which is making him very happy but driving me slightly potty.

Glad that he’s ok this morning and has managed to eat some bunny ears! Just ignore DH and his whinging. Ds takes priority when he’s sick, he’s only little and croup is like nothing else. I still remember calling 111 the first time he had it at about 11pm and the lady on the phone hearing him in the background. She said ‘take him to a and e NOW, do not wait’ he was seen immediately and given steroids.

I think the obvious thing to do is sort out a comfortable spare bed...

Perfectly rational to want a sick child close by, croup or not. I don’t have anxiety and I’d do it in a heartbeat just with a regular cold.

I see your husband is allowed to be anxious though, and you have to care for him while pregnant, and Ill. I’d be talking all this through with someone supportive in rl - friend, parents, siblings? I’d find it difficult to get past this whole thing and be taking some time and space to think.

I think the obvious thing to do is sort out a comfortable spare bed...

To tell the husband to fuck off to when he acts like an unreasonable whingy fart.

Op you did exactly the right thing, please don’t listen to your bully of a husband explain this away as health anxiety.

Sounds like you handled the situation with your ds calmly and appropriately- hope you get some rest yourself today.

@Walkingdeadfangirl when did a bit of sympathy for an unwell child become a crime. You honestly seem like you have a vendetta.

OP, take your son in your bed, tell your husband to go sleep on the sofa. He's unwell he wants a cuddle, you want him close by and your husband is verging on being cruel.

DS a bit snotty today so wondering if it could be asthma, not croup. Have got him on Piriton to dry him up and regular inhaler hits. He's happy and bright in himself.