DH won't let me have croupy 3yo in our bed

[jamoncrumpets]

3yo has a croupy cough, which he gets from time to time. He usually has a bad attack, I give him a few hits of an inhaler, and it gradually tails off over time. I usually keep him in bed with me overnight to monitor.

Tonight he's started with a croupy cough and DH immediately said 'right, not again, he's staying in his bed' and took DS out of our bed, where he was calming down watching YouTube videos on my phone, and into his own room where I can hear him coughing and wheezing. He told me I was being hysterical to let DS stay with me and that it was 'all about my health anxiety'. He's currently in DS's room with him.

I want DS in with me. I want to keep an eye on him. But DH keeps shutting me down. I don't know how to stand up to him over this.

Of course he should be in with you. Sick kids always sleep with me so I can monitor them. Kids can go downhill quickly.
Your DH is being a dick

sprog

Dd2 had bronchiolitis twice. Dd1 was asthmatic

The worst thing for both of them was no sleep and getting too hot .

DH has fucked off. I'm sat next to DS now.

If he is asleep great, time for you to get some sleep to

He's a nasty cunting bully. Mind you I'm sure you don't need a randomer on the Internet to point that out.

So your DH has managed to get your DS to sleep in his own bed? Leave him! Don't go and disturb him just because you want him in with you! That's selfish!

I'm with you. But if he's as bad as you are describing you need to get him seen

I think some people on this thread understand about croup and some don't.
I called the emergency gp out the first time my son had croup. I thought he was going to die. It is very scary. No way would I leave a croupy child out of my sight.

Don't know why anybody wouldn't want a baby or young child close to them when they are unwell with something worrying or risky.

I love my bed and my space and am not a natural co sleeper but everyone one of my kids is ill they sleep with me if its something worrying or if they feel really bad and just need comfort.

Your dh is being an arse

He's coughing in his sleep. Fighting to stay asleep. If he gets bad or panics again he's straight in with me.

He doesn't get to not supervise him and demand you don't either! It would be different if he was in with him but he's fucked off downstairs and left him alone.

You’re saying he’s ‘fucked off’ ?

Also known as ‘he has settled dS off to sleep, and gone downstairs to stay awake so he can hear any disturbance’.

When ds1 (severe learning disabilities) started having seizures aged 16 I slept with him until he was stable. It’s what you do when you think your child might die at night

If it was any breathing related issues I’d want DC next to me all night.
DH should put up or move to sofa for the night.
Croup is scary for dc ( and you) and will be reassured having you there

Like fuck he's listening out, he's got a Bond film on at full volume

If his chest is sucking in like you describe he really needs to see a doctor asap. Is he asthmatic? Assuming yes as you've mentioned inhalers- if so how many has he had to have? I've heard more than 10 in 24 hours and you need to be seen as high risk of asthma attack.

If DS’s sleeping, surely he’s best off where he is.

Is your DH right? Do you have health anxiety?

I don’t think your DH has gone about it the right way, but he seems to be fundamentally correct in both his assessment and treatment of DS.

You'd sleep happily knowing your kid was in the next room with croup? Really?!

If he hasn’t demanded she doesn’t supervise him?!!

He demanded she didn’t wake him up. Not the same thing!

I agree with GreenVoyage.

If he’s truly so ill you can’t not watch him constantly, were you planning on staying awake all night?

AIBU to just go and get DS and put him in bed with me and tell DH to go fuck himself?
YANBU.
Get the little one in bed with you and send the husband to the sofa. It worries me that you say you "don't know how to stand up to him over this"? Just tell him, surely? What's he going to do?

I'll stay awake all night if I have to sit by his bed, yes. If he's in with me I will sleep next to him.

Do you have health anxiety? What happens when your ds struggles - do you stay calm around him?

I wonder if it’s half of one and 6 of a dozen or whatever the phrase is. I.e maybe you both have a point.

I couldn't sleep with my poorly son in the next room. He spent all of last week in with me because he was unwell. My DH wouldn't have it any other way either. Scoop him up and bring him into bed, OP.

I do get anxious seeing my child struggle to breathe, yes. Who wouldn't?!