To ask you to please help me keep my kids safe.

[Happyland8]

I'm going to Spain this summer for a family wedding. DH was supposed to be coming but work commitments now mean that I'll be going alone with my 4 year old and 1 year old (she'll be 2 when we go).

We will be staying at a shared villa with a pool. I'm feeling extremely anxious about the whole trip. I had a situation when DD2 was 2 where I was at a family gathering. I went upstairs to the toilet at my siblings house and someone there went out the front door and left it open and i came back down and found DD in the middle of a busy road and in all honesty, i feel so worried now unless DH & I are both there so that one of us can watch the kids at all times.

I'm worried about the swimming pool and the risk of either of them falling in without anyone noticing, I'm worried that while I'm helping one child, something awful could happen to the other. It's not possible for me to have my eyes on both children every second of every minute of every day and the people in my villa are all extremely laid back parents. I'm just so nervous about the whole situation.

Does anyone have any helpful, practical safety tips that may be useful?

I'm very grateful for any help. Thank you.

Be strict, tell them not to go near the pool unless you tell them to and are accompanying them. Set the ground rules before going.

How old are they? Can they swim?

Ok, firstly you need to give your 4 yr old clear boundaries, risk assess the villa together and talk about all the dangers, and go through them every morning.

Then keep them with you as much as possible, of you need to go to the look sign one person to look after them, v don't just ask everyone to.

Keep doors closed, have a safe space the children can be in, and go out lots with them.

Villa door locked, you carry the keys.
Arm bands at all times. Make sure dc know to keep them on.
My ds got into difficulties and nobody assisted. I had to jump in heavily pregnant!!
Imo /e lifeguards abroad are for decorative purposes only!!

Insist they wear arm bands all the time they are outside?

Are any of the other family members responsible teenagers who might want to earn some money helping you?

They'll be 4 and 2, neither can swim. One can swim with a float.

@Happyland8. Warn them there will be consequences if they don't follow instructions.

Lots of talking about the safety rules before you go and a zip up life jacket type thing that they will forget they are wearing but give you piece of mind around the pool. Be vigilant but try not to let your worry marr your holiday! Kids learn to manage risk by being exposed to it in some situations (within reason!) So this could be an opportunity to really teach them to keep themselves safe.

Could you try and get them swimming lessons before you go. My daughter done an extensive course before we went to Spain when she was 2 and was able to swim by the end of the 2 weeks.

I've always found that gaffer tape and cable ties are invaluable in keeping the kids quiet and out of trouble.

Oh I'm sorry @ferretygubbins that made
Me lol

Buy life jack type buoyant swim suit that their wear all the time . And buy life jacket that can wear over normal clothes for when have to wear other clothes.
Arm bands are not enough.
Keep children with at all time do not trust anyone else with them.

Is Spanish Law not the same as French? There you have to have a lockable pool when not in use.

Can you not have a chat with another parent that's going and tell them your worries. Ask them to help you keep an eye.

There are alarms you can get that go off if a child goes in water.

Sorry I can't link but Google pool alarm bracelet.

swimming lessons....both should be having them now...a 4 year old should have basic knowledge of water safety and know the rules around the pool.
a 2 yr old is trickier but wearing a lifejacket outside at all times, and hopefully you could really instill it in DC not to go near the pool.

I have to say i'd be nervous too! and my 2 year old could swim...

How laid back are the other parents???

Life jackets on at all times when anywhere near the pool

I think you have to accept that it's not really going to be a holiday for you as you're going to be watching your DCs all the time. The issue the last time was that you expected the others to be watching your DC and they weren't.
You could take a travel cot, fill it with toys,etc and pop the younger one into it when/if you're busy.
If you're very concerned, would it be possible to stay somewhere else? You may be happier in a hotel or a flat without a pool.

How laid back are the other parents???

About as laid back as it gets 😟

I have to stay there as they've paid for my accommodation for me and I wouldn't have enough money to pay for something alternative.

A holiday with a two year old is not a holiday

Not sure if you saw my suggestion- are there any teenagers who might help?

Not a practical suggestion, but I was just wondering if you meant that you and DH have to monitor the children at all times or just when you're staying in unfamiliar environment with 'relaxed' family members?

If it's the former, I wonder whether anxiety is becoming abnormal and/or overwhelming and if it may help to speak to GP (or someone else) about the episode with the front door and anxious thoughts in general?

If I've completely misunderstood and the anxiety is purely around swimming pool and other inattentive adults, then please just completely ignore me and just follow the practical advice given above.

There are no teenagers unfortunately.

Tbh, I wouldn't go. I know that sounds over the top but after a close friend of my daughter lost her toddler in a very similar scenario, I'd be a nervous wreck.

It was the friend's parents "watching" the children too.

Probably not the answer you want and I'm sure I sound extreme, but you need eyes in the back of your head at the best of times single-handedly wrangling 2 very small children.

Can you phone the villa letting agent and ask if the pool is fenced off, and any other concerns? They may be able to offer staircases or a travel cot to stow 2yo in safely.
If you need to go to the toilet, assign one adult each child to watch them personally.
I would be worried others may leave gates and doors open.
4yo is old enough to be told and to follow rules, and often can be useful for dobbing in younger dc.
But they are not that reliable.
Try to teach 2yo how to get up and down stairs safely, etc.
I would take them to swim lessons. My nearly 4yo can doggyz floating aids. However, I would caution against using floats unaccompanied. Toddlers can flip over and not resurface in the seat ones. Always accompany them in the pool. Is there a kidsclub/creche onsite so you can have a break?