To tell MIL to speak ennglish

[Pokemonlovepower]

So I have a Europe MIL who would always talk to me in English (husband's first language is English ) but since my baby has been born she's speaks only in her own language. My husband doesn't around the baby and we've mentioned that the bi lingual route isn't a big must as we speak English at home. She accepted this but more and more when I visit she speaks in her own language around me (even if the baby isn't present) to my husband, so I can't understand a thing. I offered to try and learn but my husband didn't see the point as he only speaks it too his mum!

AIBU to find it a bit rude ?? X

I don’t get why you wouldn’t want your child to have the opportunity to speak more than one language?

Mil needs to speak English if you’re present. I’d be trying to learn my dh’s other language and use it at home. It saddens me that so many D.C. don’t speak their parents’ language.

I’d be learning the language.

I think it's great that she's speaking to the baby in her own language. Make an effort to learn it yourself, ask her to help you. You have a perfect t opportunity there and with be doing your Dc a great service.

How sad that you want your child to lose part of his/ her heritage.

Anyway what is "a Europe MIL"?

Bringing up your child to be bilingual is a gift!

Hes not fluent in his mother's tounge at all, he always speaks half half! Hes always lived in England, English dad etc. Hence why it's never been a thing for us x

What do you mean you 'offered' to try and learn?

Why not just learn it?

YANBU about her only speaking her own language though, if she knows you and your child can't understand her.

Much better to mix it up so you can both learn it.

“I offered to try and learn but my husband didn't see the point as he only speaks it too his mum!

And you did what you were told? How very odd.

I would be encouraging as much of the second language around the baby as possible.

I would jump at the chance to have my child acquire bilingualism from birth. It's the best opportunity they'll ever have to acquire a second language.

I'd get learning that language too if I were you.

The irony of the thread title!

Well baby , job and home I find it difficult to fit in learning a language. .. something i find Extremly difficult anyway ! I suggested it, told him he would need to help me or I'd take a class but the only one I could do/afford is the only time we have alone together. X

YANBU to find it rude when she speaks to your DH knowing you can’t understand her. I’d just not go round and leave them to it. If she’s asks your DH why you’ve not visited for a while ask him to tell her because it’s boring because you can’t join in the conversation.

Yes, yabu. I’m English married to a Frenchman with bilingual children. I would naturally speak to any future gc in English and consider it as part of their heritage. With my mil I speak to her in French and speak both to the children so she can follow the conversation.

I understand your frustration in not understanding what she’s saying, but the cultural, empathetic and intellectual benefits of speaking more than one language, for me, would outweigh that frustration.

I would try and learn a bit of their language and join in!

I realise that this sounds a bit ironic, but is English your first language op?

I would totally be using the opportunity to learn a new language for myself, let alone my child.

It does sound rude that she’s doing it conversationally when the baby is not there but maybe she has also realised that her heritage is getting lost a bit with her son and grandchild?

You 'offered to try and learn' hmm why have n't you just done it an yway? Do you need to ask? I think it's a bit sad that you won't let mil talk to the baby in her own language.

YANBU she should be speaking English in front of you, it's very rude not too especially considering she never used too. If I were you I would be learning the language

YABU. It's fine for DMIL to speak to her GC in her own language.

You can also her to speak in English when speaking to you or to DH when you're present.

I expect she's talking to DH in their language not to exclude you but to encourage him not to forget it and to know that GC will have access to that language after she dies.

I agree with other posters that your DC being bilingual would be something I'd jump at, and also that in your position I'd try to learn some of your DMIL's language.

What a blessing to have the heritage of another country in your blood, let her speak in her mother tongue and you'll be amazed how quickly your child will be bilingual. Are you afraid she's slagging you off or something?

I’d love to have a mother in law who could introduce my children to another language

Mine is dead

Haha, here I am telling grandparents NOT to speak in English to my children but to use their mother tongue to try and encourage some bilingualism! Why would you sacrifice such an amazing opportunity?

There are lots of online resources for learning languages. Especially at beginner level. Could you listen to short lessons while travelling to and from work for instance? Just to pick up some common words and phrases to start with. And maybe try them out on MiL to see how she reacts

English isn't my first language. X