To really hate the word "passed" for someone who's died

[Slippery]

Passed what? Passed to where? They've died. Doesn't matter how you try to dress it up.

I've recently had two family members die, and it really pisses me off when someone says they've "passed".

End of rant.

Surely it doesn't matter? Use the word you feel is appropriate.

For a lot of people 'dead' and 'died' is too final, too cold.

They have died. Using euphemisms won't make that any more bearable.

It might for some people, at least whilst they're speaking about it.

If this is a TAAT, is it becuase I used it this morning.

I used passed as a deliberate euphemism as we were discussing the future deaths of someone’s parents.

I have no problem with talking about death, but it seemed somewhat tactless to be talking about “when they are dead” about people who aren’t about to die.

Sometimes we refer to sex, sometimes we say dtd becuase sometimes a euphemism is far more appropriate.

What a horrible post. Perhaps you would prefer if they just didn’t bother to offer you condolences? Or maybe distribute a memo beforehand with your permitted language? Horrible.

Sorry for your losses btw, but not sorry for using a euphemism.

YABU to criticise terminology of such a sensitive subject. Passed is a much nicer and polite term and should always be used unless someone tells you they have a preference for a different term. Fair enough if you personally don’t like it but the majority of people prefer it so it’s much more kind to use what the majority prefer.

But Mavis, they have died. It's a fact. And the verb is accurate.

I understand what you mean.
But I lost my dad this week. And that's the only way I can say it. To say he 'died' when he was treated so badly by the hospital allegedly ' looking after him' minimises it too much.
So I've just been telling people "I've lost my dad" and everyone has known what I mean. Sometimes it's just too hard to say the words.

Didn't realise this was a TAAT. Didn't mean to upset anyone.

Some people don’t like the severity of dead/died.
This is also a TAAT.

I too think this is a mean and patronising thread. You should be ashamed of yourselves

Both my parents have died. A beloved cousin has died. If someone wants to use the verb "passed", I might shudder a bit privately but I would ignore.

I'm with you OP and my MIL is the worst for it. We had a relative die nearly a year ago and she always say "it's sad so and so passed away".

I hate it more when they say it to DD. She knows about death, just say died.

But Mavis, they have died. It's a fact. And the verb is accurate.

In the case of a murder must we say, sorry you family member’s head was hacked off with a hatchet, our would it be ok to just say, “I was so sad to hear about your family member”?

If we have guests in can I offer ‘refreshments’ or must I be very specific in the food and drinks I will be supplying?

YANBU. It's one of my pet hates too. 'Passed' and 'lost' are ambiguous euphemisms and particularly unhelpful when talking to children about death. It's important to be clear about the reality of what has happened.

I always assumed it was short for “passed on to the other side” ie heaven

It's fine with me. use the term you want to, it's not like it's difficult to understand either 'passed away' or 'died' is it?

Yes to 'Died' , 'Passed away', 'I've lost...'

No to 'Passed' (on its own), 'dead'.

'Passed' sounds flippant.

“Today 18:00 nuttyknitter

YANBU. It's one of my pet hates too. 'Passed' and 'lost' are ambiguous euphemisms and particularly unhelpful when talking to children about death. It's important to be clear about the reality of what has happened.”

I think an adult would have to be spectacularly dim to not understand what “x had passed” means, and it’s perfectly easy for children to understand. These posts are all a bit protest too much. How hard is it to understand? It’s in common usage and has been for many many years

Its just preference though isnt it?
DEAD is too harsh for some people.

I prefer to say...
My Dad passed away, instead of my Dad is DEAD.
Kids, can you quieten down Please, instead of SHUT UP!
Can you Please leave, instead of FUCK OFF!
Each to their own I say. It's not hurting anyone is it?

Using euphemisms do help actually. I still struggle to say the word "died" when talking about close family members dying.
In my mind "died" is said about other people, something less harsh is said about people very close to me
May sound silly to you, but it's not to me.

But Mavis, they have died. It's a fact. And the verb is accurate.

My mother died a few months ago. My dad can't use the words 'died' or 'dead' yet, they were married for 40 years and he's heartbroken. So I don't use those words.

Being 'accurate' isn't always the most important thing.

I really couldn’t find it in me to be irritated by how a grieving person chooses to share their very sad news. Seriously.

Hate passed/passed away/passed on. It implies they've gone on somewhere and as an atheist I find it very irritating.

Don't understand why anyone would find it more painful to say a loved one had died than to say they had 'passed'. I certainly didn't feel the need to use euphemisms when my parents died. If it helps people to skirt around the issue then fair enough. But that doesn't mean I have to like it!

You'd have to be a very committed pedant to become irritated by this I think.

Yes yes, her husband died tragically, but must she say 'passed'? Ugh!